


The Winds of Change

by stardust_20



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Full Cast - Freeform, Philinda- centered
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 65,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1735565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_20/pseuds/stardust_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With their world in a shambles, Agents Coulson, May and the rest of the team work to bring down HYDRA and put themselves back together, beginning with their own relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Author: stardust_20  
Rating: TEEN. There may be suggestive themes and/or some lightly explicit stuff. I may change the rating as I go along.  
Characters/pairing: Full SHIELD cast, focus on Melinda May and Phil Coulson and their relationship.  
Spoilers: Anything from the first season of the show, including Captain America: The Winter Soldier. The story begins partway through "Nothing Personal" and goes a little AU from there, though I always try to keep many of the elements the same as the actual show. Some things are definitely from my imagination, as I've extrapolated possibilities that I feel like playing with.   
Word count: 2600+ (this chapter)  
Disclaimer: I don't own them and am making no money, just enjoying playing in the Marvel sandbox for a while. :)

***

CHAPTER ONE ~

“Here.” Skye tossed a disc onto the bed.

May might have laughed at the situation - the five of them standing around the wrinkled bed in a cheap, dingy hotel, looking at the piece of tech as if it were a cockroach - had the larger situation not been so critically serious.

“What is it?” Coulson finally asked, breaking the strained silence.

“Providence.”

Coulson’s eyebrow raised. “Providence?”

“You know, Providence. The secret base.”

“I know what Providence is, Skye, and this isn’t it.”

“I don’t imagine there’s much of it left now,” Simmons said sadly.

“Only all of its intel.” Skye crossed her arms over her chest and smiled proudly. “I copied everything off the server.”

“Was this before or after you figured out Ward was Hydra?”

“Before of course.” She gave an involuntary shiver. “After, there wasn’t time. He was watching my every move and insisted we leave right away.”

May looked at Coulson and their eyes met briefly. “You might make a decent spy yet,” she said dryly.

“I’m learning not to just trust blindly, and given what happened with Ward - “ She exhaled. “I may never trust anyone again.”

“Don’t let yourself think that way Skye,” Coulson comforted. “Sometimes the situation isn’t as black and white as it seems.” His eyes slid over to May and held there for a moment. Her stomach fluttered at the intense look in his blue eyes. 

“So let’s see what Providence has to tell us.” Coulson stepped forward, changing the subject, and picked up the disc. “Starting with everything about Ward and Hydra.”

Skye patted her laptop and plunked herself down on one of the beds and held out her hand for the disc. “Come to mama.”

May slipped quietly out and lay down on the bed in the adjoining room, shutting her eyes. She willed all of her training to still her mind and shut out their voices until they were nothing more than a whisper of sound washing over her like waves at a beach, present but undemanding.

“May?” Her eyes shot open. She hadn’t even heard him, so fast asleep she’d been. Hadn’t even sensed him, which was unusual for her. “Is everything okay?”

She wanted to jump up and tell him that no, everything was most definitely _not_ okay, in fact it was about as far from okay as it could possibly be, starting with their own strained relationship, but she was too exhausted to face Coulson now. “I just need a few minutes.”

“Okay.”

Now she heard him leave, his footsteps as familiar to her as her own. Eyes slipping shut again, she fell right back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * * 

Coulson sat back down on the chair that thankfully no one had stolen when he’d vacated it moments earlier. “Shh, May’s sleeping,” he admonished as the others’ voices grew loud.

“Sleeping?” Fitz blurted out. “We have work to do.”

“We all need rest, Fitz. It’s been a tough couple of days and it’s only going to get worse, I fear.”

“For us too but you don’t see us sleeping. Besides, _she_ doesn’t seem to be fazed by what’s going on. Cool as a cucumber, is Agent May.”

Coulson’s eyes turned steely. “She may seem like she’s got it all together and that it just rolls right off her back but she takes in all of the emotions you let spew, and it eats her up inside. It’s a lot tougher to corral the anger and frustration than to let it all hang out.”

“You seem to know her pretty well,” Simmons observed.

Coulson stared out the window at the night sky. “I do,” he said softly. “Maybe better than anyone.”

He gave himself up to the thoughts whirling in his head and their chatter seemed to disappear as he wrestled with dark, difficult thoughts.

“May was _married_?” Skye’s voice broke through the wall some minutes later, bringing him back to the room. 

“Huh?”

“Look.” Skye turned her laptop towards him and replayed a fraction of the interrogation she and the other three had been watching. 

_Koenig’s distinctive voice filled the room. “Have you ever been married?”_

_“Once.”_

Skye stopped it. “See? Wow. I can’t believe she was married. She’s so cold and impersonal, not the kind of person I’d imagine someone ever having a serious relationship with, let alone getting married. Coulson, do you have any idea who she was married to?”

“I should say so, considering it was me.”

“What?” Four voices rose in unison and four sets of eyes were suddenly fixed on him. 

“You heard me.”

“Oh my god, this just gets weirder and weirder.” Skye covered her face with her hands.

Coulson sniffed. “How is _that_ weird compared to alien resurrection DNA, cybernetic supersoldiers, and Ward being a spy in a secret organization within a secret spy organization?”

Simmons smiled at him weakly, almost apologetically. “It just seems a little improbable, that’s all.”

“I mean, she’s like, the last person I’d expect to be in a warm, caring relationship,” Skye added.

Coulson’s eyes met hers. “The Melinda May you know now is not the same one I used to know. Not the same one I fell for many years ago. You don’t know her like I do.” A sad smile touched his lips. “She’s changed - been changed by the years. We all have.”

Skye’s forehead crinkled. “So how come I never found this when I did a background check on all of you?”

His lips twitched in a small smile. “You’re a better spy than May gives you credit for. You won’t find it anywhere because we did it in secret. No one ever knew but us.”

“Ooh, a secret romance.” Simmons pulled her legs up and curled her arms around them. “Tell us more.”

“No, don’t.” All eyes turned to May, whose face was as dark as any of them had ever seen it, standing in the adjoining doorway.

Coulson’s mouth opened slightly but no words came out.

“You’re the one who broke the secret by telling Koenig,” Skye pointed out, replaying the recording.

“I had no choice. I wouldn’t have beat the machine if I hadn’t. I’m not that good a liar.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Coulson said almost under his breath.

May literally growled and stalked to the door, slamming it against the wall as she opened it, letting in a cool draft.

“May-Lin … “ Coulson sighed and stood. “Excuse us.” He shut the door behind himself, carefully and quietly.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Triplett said, uttering the first words he’d said all night. “You find it hard to believe they were married? They act like they still are.”

* * * 

She stood on the other side of the pool, as physically far from them as she could get. Coulson understood that need. Her black hair blew softly in the breeze and her silhouette was even darker than the darkest shadow, and his heart constricted. Even in this moment of anger, betrayal and hurt - on both sides - she was the most beautiful thing in his universe … and the only thing that mattered in this moment.

He stood beside her, laying his arms atop the fence alongside hers, not touching, not speaking. He knew he needed to find the words now; knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t speak first and when she’d had enough of waiting she’d stalk off and possibly disappear out of his life forever.

“May-Lin -- “ he began.

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped back without looking at him. 

“Okay, look, May I’m sorry.” He turned to face her. “Look at me. I’m sorry. So sorry I didn’t trust you. I was wrong. I should have known better and I’m sorry.” 

She remained stoic but he sensed a loosening inside her. “Yes you should have.”

“I know, I know. I was paranoid. Stupid. Foolish.”

“Keep going.”

A weight lifted off his heart. She wasn’t smiling but there was the old May, teasing him again just like the old days. “I should get on my knees to beg forgiveness?”

“It couldn’t hurt. A little groveling goes a long way.”

“Please forgive me, May. I was an idiot. I promise it won’t happen again.”

She smiled suddenly, a wide, genuine smile that blazed at him like the hottest day in summer. His whole body breathed a sigh of happiness and relief.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she murmured, eyes twinkling. 

He laughed. “I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you came back.”

Within seconds her face grew somber and her eyes guarded. “I’ve something you need to see.”

“Lead on MacDuff.”

They walked back to the room in companionable silence, all tension between them gone which was good, since there was plenty of tension in Coulson’s life right now and at least one thing had to be going his way for a change.

* * * 

“Where did you get this?” Coulson’s voice was surprisingly blank, considering what he’d just watched.

“In your coffin.”

His head whipped around. “In my what?”

“You died, remember?” One eyebrow arched. “There was a memorial service, a burial … people were meant to believe you were dead so Fury went through the motions of having you buried. Fooled me I’ll tell you.”

Empathy shone in his blue eyes. “It must have been hard. If it had been you - “

“Hardest thing I’ve ever done,” May admitted. “Don’t let it happen again. I don’t think I’d survive.”

“I’ll do my best.” Coulson sat back and sighed heavily. “Well, it all makes a crazy kind of sense now and I understand why Fury wanted it kept secret, especially from me.”

“You needed to know. I understand that and respect it. It was hard for me, keeping secrets from you. Once you found the tip of the iceberg I had to dig up the rest, literally.”

He gave her a strange look. “So you’re a grave robber now too.”

“Add it to my credentials. Should fit nicely right after ‘ass kicker’.”

“Put it on your resume.” HIs eyes twinkled. “You may be looking for another job sooner than you think.”

“Yeah, problem is anyone who’d hire someone with my qualifications is already out there trying to kill me.”

He grew serious. “That’s a problem. We need to solve it.”

“Maybe if we catch Garrett and his henchmen and present them to the General we’ll be considered heroes and not end up being summarily executed.”

He was silent for a moment. “That’s a great idea. Let’s do it.”

“Are you serious? I was kidding, Phil. You think the six of us can single handedly take down Hydra?”

“Remember Fury’s mantra: “A man can accomplish anything when he realizes he’s a part of something bigger – a team of people who share that conviction can change the world.”

“Hmm. We’ll need a plan. Or two. Or three. I wouldn’t trust just one.”

He stood and walked over to the adjoining door, opening it and effectively stopping all conversation on the other side.

“I think we should all try to get some rest now. May and I have come up with an idea and in the morning we’ll brainstorm it and make a plan. The next few days aren’t going to be easy, I won’t sugarcoat it - “

“When do you ever?” Skye murmured under her breath. 

“ - so sleep now and be ready for anything tomorrow.” He glanced at Skye, letting her know he’d heard her slip. “You four can share this room. May and I will be next door.”

“How come we four have to share when there’s only two of you? Seems fair we divide three and three - “ Fitz gestured that Tripp should join the two of them, leaving him with the girls.

“Because I said so and I’m the boss. Capiche?” 

Fitz murmured something unintelligible.

Coulson’s eyebrow raised - a trick May had taught him years earlier. “What was that?”

“I said ‘yes sir’.”

“Good. I’ll see you all at seven. If any of you is an early riser, I’d love coffee and cinnamon buns for breakfast. It’ll make planning to take down Hydra infinitely more pleasurable.” He beamed at them. “Good night.”

* * * 

As the door closed, Simmons’ jaw dropped. “Oh. My. God,” she said slowly.

“Mom and dad didn’t yell at one another or throw things, and they’re sleeping together tonight,” Tripp said lightly, “that bodes well for the future of the team, don’t you think?”

“Sleeping together?” Fitz was clearly horrified.

“Well just because they’re sleeping together doesn’t mean they’re _sleeping together_ ,” Tripp shrugged. 

“Are you kidding me? There’s only one bed in there.” Skye shook her head. “I don’t believe it. What is it you men see in her?” She looked directly at Fitz. “Are you going to be next or have you already slept with her and have been keeping it a secret?”

“What?” Fitz and Simmons shouted in unison.

“She’s working her way through the team. First Ward, now Coulson … it seems obvious you’re next. Or maybe she’ll skip you and go straight to him,” she pointed at Tripp, who held out his hands in surrender.

“Hold on just a minute now. Let’s not be assuming anything without proof. The two of them have known each other a long time, and very intimately too if they were married once upon a time. Given all of the trauma Coulson’s been through, finding out about Hydra, about Garrett, about Ward - maybe he’s just a little wary and feels more comfortable trusting the one person he knows best when he’s most vulnerable.”

“I thought he was furious with her for keeping secrets from him,” Fitz argued. “Trust issues, and all.”

“Well clearly they’ve worked that out.” Tripp smiled. “I suggest we do as the boss says and not worry about what they’re doing on the other side of the door.”

Skye grabbed Simmons’ hand. “You’re sharing with me, right?”

“Oh come on,” Fitz protested. “You’re not going to make me share a bed with - “ He gestured at Tripp, who sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll sleep on the floor if it’ll make you happy.”

Fitz crossed his arms over his chest. “It will.”

“You and the cockroaches,” Skye warmed.

“Better them than this clown,” Tripp growled. “At least they won’t mouth off all night.” 

The two men stared at one another angrily. 

“Dibs on the bathroom,” Skye said, sprinting across the room.

“Second,” Simmons added, raising her hand.

“Now look what you’ve done,” Fitz lamented. “We’ll never get in there before morning.”

“Go dunk your head in the pool to wash up then. Now shut up and let me get some sleep.”

* * * 

Coulson eyed the bed, then his eyes darted to May, and then back to the bed. “So, I guess I’ll sleep on the floor then,” he said awkwardly.

“Why? What’s wrong with the bed?”

He coughed. “You’ll be in it.”

“So? I don’t bite.” The corner of May’s mouth pulled up a fraction. “Much.”

“That’s the part I’m afraid of.”

She pointed at the door. “You want me to sleep in there instead? I could send one of the guys in - “

“God no. I’d probably end up with Fitz and that’d be a fate worse than death. And I should know.”

“Then quit complaining,” she snapped. “You need rest too. Just get into bed and go to sleep and I promise I won’t touch you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“You think I can’t sleep in the same bed with you without succumbing to your manly charms?”

“I’d like to think so.” He grinned. “Might hurt my ego to think otherwise.”

“Your ego isn’t the only thing that’s going to end up hurting.”

He very nearly laughed out loud. “Ouch. I think this is the most you’ve spoken in the whole seven months we’ve been on this mission together. It’s nice to see you loosening up a bit. I’ve missed the old May.”

“Me too.” Her face softened for a moment and her eyes warmed as they met his. But it was only momentary and then the mask was back. “But we have more important things to focus on right now, and loosening up and having fun could get us or the others killed.”

“You’re right. But that doesn’t change how I feel.”

“Noted.” She almost smiled. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Coulson sipped his second cup of coffee. They all looked tired. He was sure he did too, if the quality of his sleep was anything to go by. Dreams, nightmares, tossing and turning … he hoped he hadn’t kept May awake. He stole a glance at her but she was as unreadable as always. Only the dark circles under her eyes gave a clue that she might be as tired as he, but who knew how long they’d been growing there? He himself hadn’t slept well for months; perhaps she’d been just as disturbed at the growing events they’d been facing.

“Okay folks, let’s put our thinking caps on. We need to focus on how we’re going to take down Hydra.”

“Take down - “ Fitz choked on his coffee. “Surely you jest.”

“Often yes, but not now. I’m not sure how high up the food chain Hydra actually goes, but I’m pretty sure Garrett’s near the top and he’s the one we’re after. We’re going to take Garrett, Ward and Deathlok down - alive preferably - and deliver them to the US government as a sign of our good faith. We need to prove that we are still the good guys.”

“Well that should be easy,” Fitz quipped. “Not.”

“I never said it was going to be easy.”

“Easy?” Skye put in. “They broke into the Fridge and stole weapons and alien artifacts. How can we beat that?”

“Because we have the one thing they don’t. Us and our ingenuity.”

“They have themselves and their own ingenuity,” Fitz argued.

“I like to think we’re smarter.”

Tripp smirked. “What you like and what actually is, isn’t exactly the same Agent Coulson.” He turned to Fitz. “Are you always such a negative Nelly? How’d you ever end up being a scientist with that ‘it can’t be done’ attitude?” He pulled what looked like a small suitcase out from under the bed. “I have something we can use to help even the playing field a little. My grandfather’s things. My mom kept them for me.”

“Oh wow.” Coulson’s eyes lit up like a child in a toy store as they all crowded around the bed. 

“Now you’ve done it,” May admonished. “We may never pull him away from the toys.”

Tripp grinned at her. “You gotta admit they’re cool.”

“Oh my,” Coulson breathed. “I haven’t seen one of these in - “ He stroked the object lovingly.

“Put it down and step away,” May warned, fixing him with a dark stare. Skye grinned.

“You’re no fun,” he pouted, doing as she asked.

“You can have all the fun you want after we finish this mission. I promise I won’t stand in your way.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise.” He smiled at her. “Now back to work. First thing we need to do is find my plane.”

“ _My_ plane?” Tripp queried.

Skye leaned close. “He’s very possessive of it. You know, guys and their vehicles,” she whispered.

“They stole it. We want to find them, we find it.”

“It could be anywhere by now,” Simmons said. 

Coulson looked over at May, a question in his eyes. She nodded, grudgingly. “Ward’s a decent pilot. He could evade traditional surveillance without too much difficulty.”

“Then we go untraditional. Skye, any ideas?”

“One, but it’s risky. We tap into the FBI satellites to find it. I can track our equipment and triangulate a location if I hack all three.”

“Can you even do that?” Fitz asked.

“I did it at Providence to get the satellite feeds from The Fridge.”

“And the risky part?”

Skye turned to face Coulson. “When I tap in to them they can trace it back to us. We’d have to be ready to run just in case they do.”

“Then we’ll have to be ready. Let’s map out several escape routes and a new rendezvous point. We’ll divide into teams; make it more difficult for them.”

“It’s a good plan, Phil,” May said softly, stepping aside with him as the others began to talk amongst themselves. “But with no backup … “

“I know. It’s risky. But what choice do we have?”

“I said it was risky, didn’t I?” Skye added, joining them. 

May turned to her. “Risky is what we do. Can you work out a way to jam them once we’re done with the satellites? That might buy us some more time to get away.”

“Uh … uh … “ Skye looked a little at a loss. Had May actually smiled at her or had that just been a grimace? She wasn’t quite sure. “I can try but that’ll take more time. Fitz, you’re good with machines. Give me a hand.”

May wandered over to the window and stared out as Tripp showed off the rest of his gear to Simmons and Coulson. She forced her jumbled thoughts to clear with deep breathing exercises, necessary when so much was going on both within and without. Several minutes later she was aware of someone standing beside her.

“I don’t know how you can be so calm.”

She turned to meet Skye’s gaze. 

“I mean, you should be furious. I’m furious and well, you and Ward had a thing … “

“Honestly, it wasn’t really much of a thing. Besides, you think I’m not furious? I am, believe me. And a whole other set of emotions I don’t even want to acknowledge.”

“How can you look so calm on the outside then?”

“Getting worked up and acting on emotion always ends in disaster. You need to learn to channel it, to keep it separate from you and use it in the right way when the time comes.” She exhaled on a growl. “Believe me, if I’m the one who faces off against Ward, he’ll be lucky if all I do is kick his ass. I might just carve up his balls and serve them to him on a platter, before I take out his lying tongue that is.”

Skye smiled. “Can you teach me how to do that? Channel emotions I mean, not kicking asses and all the rest.”

“I can but I’ll warn you it requires a lot of patience. On both of our parts.”

“Will you have the patience to teach me?”

This time she was sure May smiled. “I had enough to master it myself. No one could be a tougher student than me. Working with you will be much easier.” She looked up as Fitz cleared his throat to get her attention. “It will have to wait though. We have to survive this first.”

“Pessimist.”

May gave her a sidelong look. “Realist.”

“Okay you two, enough,” Coulson interrupted. “Let’s divide the pessimists and realists into teams. May and Skye, Tripp and Simmons, and Fitz and myself.”

“Do you need any more help with that?” May nodded at the laptop. 

Skye continued tapping away. “No, I’ve got it nearly ready.”

“Good.” May turned to Coulson. “You four go. Get a head start.”

“May - “ he started.

“I mean it, Phil. Go. Skye doesn’t need you and you have a better chance of not being detected if you’re already gone before she’s got the uplink started. Besides, this way I’ll only have one ass to save instead of five.”

“Hey!” Tripp protested. May winked at him. “Go. We’ll meet you at the rendezvous as soon as we can get there.”

“May-Lin - “ Coulson’s eyes held hers for a long moment. “Be careful.”

The door closed behind them. “I always am,” she said softly.

“So, what’s up with you two anyway? Is there something going on - “

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know you two were married a long time ago - “

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” May growled. 

“But it sure seems like the sparks are flying between you now too,” Skye continued as though she hadn’t been interrupted.

May’s eyes could have melted butter. “Can we do this girlie tete-a-tete thing another time? We need to focus on the mission or we’re not going to make it out alive.”

“Fine.” She turned back to her computer.

May’s voice softened. “I’ve been in a lot of tough places and the only reason I’m still breathing is because I learned to keep personal and professional things separate. There’s a time and a place for the personal. This just isn’t it.”

Their eyes connected for a moment and Skye nodded. “I understand. The link is almost ready.”

“Good.”

“Okay, uplink will be completed in three, two, one … aha! There it is!” She pointed at a red dot flashing on the screen. 

May peered at the screen. “Nevada?”

“Yep.”

“Get me coordinates and then shut them down if you can. If you can’t, close up shop and let’s go.”

“Yes ma’am.” Ten seconds later Skye slammed the laptop shut.

“Let’s go. Now.”

Skye ran out the door and leaped the fence, running full tilt with May close behind her. “Do we really have to move so fast? Are you sure they’re coming? I mean the link was only active for forty five seconds.”

“We have to assume they started tracking us the moment we went live, and we have to assume they have people everywhere that they can mobilize immediately.”

“Always assume the worst?” Skye panted.

“Always. It’s how you stay alive.” May’s eyes landed on a dilapidated grey ford parked beside an abandoned store. “Over here. Get down.” She pulled a slim piece of metal from under her shirt and deftly picked the lock. “Inside.” They both crawled in - May on the driver’s side - as she began to hotwire the car. 

“Well that was awfully useful. What was it, a piece of bra underwire?”

“This isn’t MacGyver.” May cursed as the engine caught then stalled. “I keep my tools close.”

“Very cool.”

“Look.” May pointed back to the motel, slightly above them on the hill. Four unmarked black SUV’s pulled up and a bunch of suit and sunglass-clad men leaped out.

“You were right.”

“I usually am.” The engine caught again and she revved it. “Now let’s get the hell out of here.”

* * * 

Coulson paced the warehouse, checking his watch every thirty seconds, warring within himself as to whether or not to send help after them. Tripp fell into step with him. “Give them time. She’ll get them out of there and back here safely. You don’t need to worry about her. She’s good at what she does.”

“Yes she is. But I worry anyway.” Coulson almost smiled but his blue eyes were dark and anxious.

They were silent for a few minutes and when Tripp spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper. “How long have you been in love with her?”

“Forever.” At Tripp’s raised eyebrow he sighed. “Well it feels like forever. Ever since I’ve known her. Fifteen years.”

“That’s a long time to not be together when you love someone.”

“It’s complicated. Always has been.”

“So I gather, what with you and May having been married once, yet you were with that other woman - the cellist. What’s her name? Right, Audrey.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

“You want to tell me the story someday? I’m all ears.” Tripp grinned.

“Perhaps. Right now I just want them to get here.”

“Skye is important to you too, isn’t she?”

“Very much so.” Coulson turned and faced Tripp, holding his eyes. “They’re both incredibly important - not just to me, but to the mission and to our future. They have to be protected at all cost. You understand me?”

“Loud and clear, sir.” He nodded. “They’ll be my first priority.”

“Thank you.”

“Are they here yet?” Fitz and Simmons walked across the warehouse and joined them.

“Not yet.” Coulson looked at his watch. “Five more minutes. If they’re not back by then, I want you to go out looking for them.”

Tripp nodded once. “Understood.”

Four minutes and thirty-five seconds later, when Tripp was arming himself and ready to head out, the back door burst open and May and Skye found themselves facing two men with guns. 

“Thank god!” Coulson said, lowering his gun and turning the safety back on. “Did you have any trouble?”

“A little. Nothing we couldn’t handle.” May dusted herself off.

Skye picked a couple of burrs out of her hair. “Yeah, it was nothing at all. Running at top speed down a mountain, hot-wiring a car, driving like we were in a live-action version of Grand Theft Auto, jumping out of the car while it was still moving - sorry, being _pushed_ out of a moving car, rolling down another mountain, and running top speed again. Piece of cake.”

“You exaggerate. They weren’t mountains, just large hills. Besides, you’re still alive and we lost them. That’s what counts.” May smirked.

“Still, you pushed me out of the car.”

“I didn’t push you; I slowed down and told you to hop out. You didn’t react fast enough so I had to give you a little nudge.”

“Is anything broken?” Simmons asked.

They answered in unison. “No.”

“Good.” Coulson looked at them both warmly. “Now, where are we going?”

* * * 

The hours grew long as May drove the minivan they’d procured towards the coordinates Skye had acquired for them. Coulson sat beside her in the front - naturally, listening to the good-natured bickering and chattering coming from the back. Oh how he wished he could be one of them again, the underlings getting their minds off the worrisome op they faced while those in charge brooded over every detail to make sure nothing had been forgotten and every contingency had been planned for. He remembered well the days he and May had been the junior agents sitting aside from their elders, bantering playfully, flirting, and planning pranks on the other agents. The memories alone gave him a warm rush of pleasure and made him _want_.

May must have sensed something, as she turned her head to look at him, once, twice, and then said, “something on your mind?”

“Nothing I can talk about in polite company.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrow arched up questioningly and he figured he’d better stop actually looking at her, as his level of want ratcheted up several more notches.

“Just thinking about the old days.”

“Mmm.”

He stole a glance minutes later, to see the ghost of a grin teasing her lips, and knew she was thinking exactly what he was. It was one of the things he’d loved most about her, the way she’d always been in the same headspace he was. He’d never felt so in-tune emotionally with anyone and he realized with a sudden sadness that that was perhaps why he hadn’t formed many close relationships since theirs had ended. As much as he cared for Audrey, he’d never felt the same kind of connection with her that he’d felt with Melinda May. The two of them had been like one mind right from the beginning. He wasn’t a man who believed in destiny or fate, but the thought that perhaps they’d been made for one another and would continue to be thrown together until they figured out how to make it work was beginning to settle into his consciousness. It wasn’t really sitting well there, but like May herself, it wasn’t leaving either. 

He wasn’t sure what to do with these new thoughts and feelings so he pushed them aside to be dealt with later. Now was time to be concentrating on the mission alone.

“Are we there yet?” Fitz whined.

“Is this a desert?” May countered.

“Then the answer is yes?” he perked up hopefully.

“The answer is that you’d better grab yourself a bottle of water or two because if you ask that question again you’ll be walking the rest of the way.”

Coulson stifled a smirk. He’d always enjoyed May’s dry sarcasm, particularly when he himself wasn’t the brunt of it. “Or the answer could be yes,” he said, checking the GPS. “We’re nearly at the coordinates.”

May stopped the vehicle and they all just stared out the windows at the vast expanse of … nothing.

“Well, where is it?” Fitz asked. “It’s not exactly small; it should be visible.”

“Should be.” 

“Well it can’t be invisible,” Skye said prosaically.

“Actually … “ Tripp grimaced. “Do you think it’s possible Hydra has come up with cloaking technology?”

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three ~

The hot sun blazed down as they piled out of the van and began to walk around it. Simmons held her hands out in front of her. 

“What are you doing?” Fitz asked crossly.

“Protecting myself. If the plane is here and cloaked we may not see it, but we can feel it. I don’t want to walk face-first into it.”

“Oh for Pete’s sake,” May grumbled. “There’s no such thing as cloaking technology.”

“Not yet,” Fitz corrected.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Skye said slowly. “A lot of things that used to be science fiction have become science fact.”

“She’s right,” Tripp added. “Just because we don’t have it doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t.”

May walked slightly away from the others and on a hunch, looked up. “Coulson,” she said softly.

He followed her pointing finger. “Uh huh. Guys,” he shouted to the others. “We found it.”

“You found - “

“Where is it?”

“Is it cloaked?”

May held up a hand to silence them and just pointed up. “There.”

Simmons sighed. “Of course. That should have been obvious.”

“It was, if you weren’t thinking in the Star Trek universe.”

“How do we get up there?” Tripp asked.

Fitz shrugged. “I think we wait for it to come down.”

“I think we climb into the van and get away from here before we figure out how we’re going to do this. It won’t take long for them to notice we’re here if we stay directly under them. Let’s pretend like we’re tourists enjoying the desert and get gone.” May cocked her head toward the van.

“Ditto,” Coulson approved. “Inside, now.”

“You have a plan, don’t you?” he asked her some time later, quietly almost in a whisper.

“A plan might be giving it too much credit. More of an idea.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“The airfield.”

“What about it?”

“We passed a small one about ten miles back. Small, two-seater planes. We steal one and - “

“And what?”

“That was about as far as the idea went.” May smirked. “You want to help out? Maybe we can make it into a plan.” 

She pulled up behind some rocks near the airfield a short while later. 

“Okay, this is what we’re going to do,” Coulson said matter-of-factly. “May, Tripp and I are going to ‘borrow’ one of those small planes and I’m going to fly it up over our plane. You two are going to drop down and infiltrate it and take command.”

“Easier said than done,” Skye murmured. “What about us?”

“I need you to work on jamming their controls or they’re going to see us coming and shoot us down before we even get started.”

“I could fly it and you could go in,” May suggested. “I am the better pilot. I could hold them off if need be.”

“You’re also the better combat specialist and I need you inside. I’ve watched you and Ward sparring and there’s no way I could beat him, let alone Deathlok, if he’s aboard.”

“Mike. Can’t we call him Mike?” Skye frowned. “He’s a person you know.”

“He’s also a machine being controlled by a madman. If we forget that we’ve already lost.” Coulson’s face softened. “The idea is to take down Garrett and separate him from Mike so we can try to help him become a man again.”

“What about us?” Fitz asked.

“I need you and Simmons to secure the airstrip crew. Make sure they don’t come after us or send for help. Restrain them using whatever you can.”

“Can’t you leave him - “ Fitz pointed at Tripp “ - to help us? We’re not fighters.”

“Exactly. These aren’t soldiers, Fitz, they’re flight personnel. You’d rather I leave Tripp here and send you in to take on Ward? Lamb to the slaughter.”

“I didn’t mean that, just that we could use help.”

“You’ll have Skye. And myself once I get them in and the plane back on the ground. I’m not sending May in alone. That’s non-negotiable. Everyone understands what they need to do?”

All heads nodded. “Good. Skye, get busy hacking their systems. The rest of us, let’s go.”

* * * 

He wasn’t a half bad pilot, she had to admit, but May bit her tongue several times as she noted instances where she’d have done something different. Criticism and infighting couldn’t be tolerated now, not if they wanted to succeed in the mission. 

“Are you two nearly ready?”

May and Tripp checked their gear one more time. “Ready,” she answered. “Make sure you’re strapped in tight. This baby’s going to rock like a boat in a tsunami when we open the door.”

“I’ll be okay.” Coulson looked at her as she poked her head between the seats. “Be careful.”

“Always am. Are we ready to kick some ass?”

Tripp hit his fist into his other palm. “You’d better believe it.”

The landing atop the plane knocked the wind right out of her, but training kept her limbs moving to find a safe handhold so the wind didn’t blow her right off.

“You okay?” Tripp’s voice sounded in her ear. 

May drew in a breath. “Fine. You?”

“Good. Let’s get moving.”

* * * 

Coulson turned the small plane around, just catching May’s eye as she swung down the side of his plane towards the underbelly, where they had the best chance of getting in unnoticed. He send out a small prayer to nothing in particular that she make it through this alive. Falling from several thousand feet without a parachute was not something one walked away from, but it still might be preferable to facing off against Garrett, Ward and Deathlok. 

The airfield seemed as quiet as he’d left it as he touched down carefully. He hoped Fitz and Simmons hadn’t had any trouble keeping the crew under control. He felt a momentary pang of guilt at leaving them to fend for themselves but it couldn’t be helped. He needed his best warriors elsewhere.

“Everything going smoothly?” Coulson asked as he joined them.

“Mostly,” Simmons answered.

“There was one who gave us trouble but Skye took care of him.” Fitz nodded at Skye, sitting nearby, tapping on her laptop.

She looked over at them and shrugged. “Ward taught me a few useful things in hand-to-hand combat.”

“Good. How are we doing? Are they still in the dark?”

“Yep, and no sign of them trying alternate channels either.”

“I don’t know who else they might or might not have aboard with them, but neither Garrett nor Ward is a tech expert so they’ll be hard pressed to work around you.” 

He folded his arms around his chest and frowned out the wide window. He understood why they’d only used two-way communication between May and Tripp - and some of Tripp’s antiquated equipment at that - but he wished he had eyes and ears in there with them. 

* * * 

May crept through the darkened spaces, thankful she had the advantage in knowing the plane inside out in ways they couldn’t possibly. Even Ward, who’d lived with them for months, hadn’t spent time in the crawlspaces and maintenance spaces like she had. She’d learned the ship front to back, every inch, every wire, every tiny screw that held things together. It was her baby every bit as much as Coulson’s, and she intended to use that information to take them down to the ground without confrontation if at all possible. 

May wasn’t naive. She’d known, going in, that in a fight against Ward she had every chance of losing, and that while she preferred to disarm and disable, he would kill without compunction, particularly if he was following Garrett’s twisted orders. Fighting Deathlok was another matter altogether and one she didn’t even want to think about until she had to.

A rewire there, a snip here … a few minutes later she felt the plane begin to lose altitude. She crept back to the hold, to Coulson’s beloved car where she and Tripp were to rejoin one another and have each other’s backs for the fight to come. If all went according to plan, the plane would be on the ground and the hatch open so the others could bolster their numbers if need be. 

“There you are.”

Ward’s voice held a tone she’d never heard before and one that chilled her blood. It cooled several more degrees when she turned and met his eyes. They were flat, lifeless, like a drone, and May shuddered at the memory of being intimate with him, when he could have easily killed her while her defenses were lowered slightly. _Nearly the biggest mistake of my life_ , she thought fleetingly. 

“Here I am.” She stood tall - to her full five foot three inches - and put as much confidence in her voice and demeanor as she could.

“I knew you were here. Knew you’d come. Knew Coulson would send you in to take me.”

“Well he wasn’t exactly going to send Skye to do it.” She watched him carefully but there was no reaction to her name. She sighed deep inside. He was too far gone and odds were she’d have to kill him … or be killed.

“So take me then, Agent May. If you can.” He came at her suddenly, then, lunging like an angry bear. 

This was what she had trained for, _been_ , for many years before pulling back and hiding from it. She’d come back into the ring so to speak, for Coulson - only for him - and had spent seven months working herself back into prime shape for this, and yet Ward fought like a cornered animal. Trapped, angry, determined to kill. 

Fists flew, punches landed, legs kicked, bodies tumbled over one another. First she, then he, had the upper hand. Their fight had them crashing through the hold and into the lab.

Two figures came into the room and May’s heart pounded all the more furiously at the sight of them. 

Garrett and Deathlok.

Now she was outnumbered and outmatched. She redoubled her efforts. Giving up wasn’t an option.

* * * 

“It’s coming down!” Skye shouted. “She did it. It’s coming down!”

“Good. Let’s not get overconfident though. Taking over the plane was the easiest part of the plan.” Coulson’s heart lifted slightly, despite his words, knowing she’d made it this far.

“Do you think the two of them can really overpower Ward and Deathlok?” Simmons asked, worry clouding her eyes.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I hope so.”

“What if they can’t?” 

What if … well he’d planned for that too, although that was going to be tougher, and casualties were likely. _One or both of them could die, remember that._ Coulson quashed the thought. No, he wouldn’t let them die. Not them. Not her. He’d give them anything they wanted, even his own life, to keep her safe. _And that’s why it didn’t work out before, remember? You loved her too much and put her safety ahead of the mission._

Best not to think about that and keep working on getting them out. Alive.

* * * 

Deathlok took a step forward towards the pair but Garrett threw an arm out in front of him. “No. let them fight it out. I want to see this.”

In a momentary break in the fighting, May glanced at Garrett and saw the same blank look deep in his eyes, though a dark sort of pleasure hovered near the surface. _Pleasure in watching Ward kill me_ , she realized. She felt a fleeting regret; what sort of person might Ward have become had he been mentored by Coulson, as she had? It was a waste of a good life, or a potential good life. 

Garrett murmured something; something she couldn’t quite understand, but it clearly broke Ward’s concentration and she took full advantage of that to best him, pinning him to the ground face-first with both arms pulled back ruthlessly and her foot at his neck. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” Garrett said. “Let him go or I let Mike take you.” May calculated her odds and let Ward go. “Smart girl. I always liked you.”

“Can’t say as I return the feeling.”

“Still prickly as ever eh?” He chuckled as Ward struggled to his feet, gasping for air. “Pity you never reached her level.”

“I’m sorry?” Ward whispered, massaging his throat. 

“I always hoped you’d be as good as Agent May but you’re just not in her class.”

“I didn’t realize it was a competition,” Ward spat, eyes flashing.

“Of course it was. Coulson made her, I made you. Score one for Phil. He did the better job.”

“Look what I found lurking upstairs.” Tripp walked into the lab, Raina directly behind him with a gun shoved into his back. “You were right to be wary.”

Garrett whirled on her and his grin was almost menacing. “I’m always right, don’t you know that yet?”

“Of course you are,” she soothed. “What do you want me to do with him?”

“Bring him over here beside our friend Mike.”

Tripp stood between them, facing May, and their eyes met. She knew he had several gadgets on him but didn’t know exactly which he would use, so she tensed, preparing to play it by ear as the situation unfolded.

“So Coulson sent both of you. Wise. Good as you are May, you’re no match for Deathlok here. He’s the ultimate warrior, the future of mankind.”

May watched Raina carefully during his words. Her pupils dilated and her nostrils flared. Contempt. Clearly she wasn’t on board with Garrett’s plan but had allied herself with them for another reason. Maybe they could use that, use her. Slowly, very slowly, Tripp began inching his hand towards an inner pocket. Time to focus their attention elsewhere …

“The future of mankind is to be turned into fighting robots? Transformers?” May queried scornfully. 

“Better than transformers. Cyborgs.” Garrett’s eyes blazed. “As strong as any machine but with a soul.”

“I’ve seen the movies. Those Autobots have more soul than many people I’ve known.” _Present company included_ , she thought.

“May, May. You don’t understand. They’ll still be humans but _better_. Your precious Coulson is already one of them, he just doesn’t know it yet. Cybernetic heart and brain that function better than the real thing. Oh don’t be surprised we know. We have our sources. We just don’t know _how_ yet.” He leaned in closer to her. “Hydra is _everywhere_.”

Just then Tripp closed in on whatever it was he was reaching for and punched it. Surges of electricity and explosions rocked the plane and Deathlok went down in a sudden heap.

May leapt for Ward but missed as the plane pitched suddenly and threw her across the room. She regained her footing swiftly and turned back but winced as he came at her from the side and stabbed her arm with something sharp. The world greyed instantly and she fell to her knees, fighting a wave of nausea.

“You idiot!” she heard Raina hiss. “Do you know what was in there?”

“No, and I don’t care,” Ward answered, already sounding far away to her dulling senses. 

“It’ll kill her.”

“Good. Bitch deserves to die.”

As she fell to the ground, unable to move or to cry out, May’s last thought was of Coulson.

* * * 

“Oh my god!”

“What?” Coulson’s head snapped to face Skye.

“An EMP just wiped out all of the ship’s systems. It’s going to crash.”

“No.” He allowed himself but a moment to worry, to grieve, and then he pulled it together. “Let’s mobilize, get out there and be ready.”

The four of them watched in horror as their home lunged and pitched awkwardly towards the ground, spinning out of control.

“Come on May, come on,” Coulson muttered under his breath, hoping against hope that she could get control of it before it crashed. Faster and faster it seemed to come down, wing first ... and then the unthinkable happened. 

The sound was defeaning. The ground shook beneath their feet as flames soared high into the air and smoke billowed everywhere.

He was sure his heart was breaking. “May-Lin,” he choked out. “No!”

A second unthinkable thing happened then. A small red car came roaring out of the smoke, headed directly for them. “Yes!” he shouted, but worry replaced elation as they drew closer and he could see Tripp was driving and May slumped across the passenger seat, eyes closed.

“Thank god! What happened?” he demanded as Tripp screeched to a stop beside him.

“To her or the plane?”

“Both.” Coulson pushed the hair off May’s face and stroked her cheek lightly.

“Ward got her with a hypodermic. Don’t know what it was but she went down like a ton of bricks. I used an EMP. Seemed best to knock out Deathlok. Even the odds.” Tripp grimaced. “Sorry about your plane.”

“We’ll talk about it later. Let’s get May into the van. Did any of them survive?”

“I don’t know. I was focused on getting us out before the flames got us.”

Coulson’s eyes grew steely. “Fitzsimmons and Skye, take care of May. _Take care of her_. We’re going back in.”

“Do you really think that’s wise?” Fitz asked.

“I’m not wasting this opportunity to take them. They may be dead, injured or in small, charred pieces, but I’m not leaving them behind to get away.”

Skye knew determination when she saw it. “Go. Hurry back. We’ll take care of her.”

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

“You do know the plane is on fire, right?” Coulson threw Tripp a withering look and he shrugged defensively. “Okay, okay. Just remember to avoid smoke inhalation. That’ll get you before the flames do.”

Coulson pulled the car to a stop beside the flaming wreckage and hopped out. 

“We should split up, cover more ground faster.”

“No. If one of us goes down the other will never know. It’s better we stick together.”

“You’re the boss, boss.”

They picked their way in carefully, covering their noses and mouths with sleeves and breathing shallowly. 

“Here!” Tripp called out, seeing a dark limb poking out from behind what was left of a wall. 

“Mike. Is he still alive?” Coulson knelt and took his pulse. “Just. Anyone else?”

There wasn’t much left of Fitz and Simmons’ prized lab. Coulson sighed. Fury would have been so angry to see this … A movement caught his eye and he followed it. Ward. Still alive but with a nasty gash across the forehead and burns on his arms. 

“Let’s get these two back to the car then you can take them to the others while I keep looking for Garrett.”

“With all due respect sir … “

“Stuff a shirt in it and get moving, Agent Triplett.”

Tripp smothered a smile. He was really beginning to like his new boss.

* * * 

“You _let_ him go back in there alone?” Skye’s eyes blazed. “Are you an idiot or just a self-centered jackass?”

Tripp shrugged. “He’s the boss and he gave me an order. You don’t question orders do you?”

“Of course we do!” Skye, Simmons and Fitz chorused.

“Well I don’t.” His voice softened. “Keep in mind I’ve been working with Garrett these past few years. You question, you end up dead.”

“Point taken.” Skye helped maneuver Ward into the van. “We’ll take care of these guys from here. You go back and get Coulson. Now.”

“But - “

“He can take it up with me if he has a problem with it. Now _go_.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not next in command to be giving orders,” Fitz murmured as the car sped away.

“No, May is, but she’s not exactly in a position to be giving orders now is she? And considering what we have to deal with - “ she waved a hand at the three unconscious figures “ - we don’t need any more casualties, or lack of a leader to figure out what the hell we’re doing. I’d say Coulson is probably _the_ most important of us and absolutely essential to our survival.”

“She’s right,” Simmons said without looking up. “And we have another problem. Without any medical supplies … “

“What do you need?” Skye asked.

“Everything.” Her eyes, lifting finally, were filled with frustration and pain. “I can’t do much to help any of them with the little we brought along, and without proper equipment I may not be able to figure out what’s wrong with Agent May, let alone treat her.”

 _If I were Coulson, how would I solve that problem?_ Skye mused. “Would a regular medical clinic have what you need?”

“Some of it. A hospital would be better.”

“Then we figure out how to knock over a hospital and get what we need, and then we find a place to hide.”

“That should be easy,” Fitz said faintly.

“Soon,” Simmons warned, touching his shoulder. “We can’t waste any time.”

* * * 

Coulson swore. It wasn’t often he let loose with profanity but this was a damned good time for it, he figured. Garrett was missing, half the ship was so entrenched in flames he couldn’t get close enough to check it nor salvage anything, and the fragment of flowered fabric fused to a beaker in what had been the lab gave him to believe Raina had been on board and had escaped with Garrett. But how, and where? They were in the middle of a desert with nothing for miles in any direction. How could they have just vanished?

He began to cough violently and once he started he couldn’t seem to stop. His lungs filled with smoke and ached so that he wished he didn’t have to breathe. Doubled over, his vision began to grey at the edges, and as he collapsed onto the floor, his last thought was of May.

* * * 

“Oh god, is he okay?” Skye demanded as Tripp hauled an unconscious Coulson from the now blackened and somewhat charred red MG.

“Just smoke inhalation I think. I did a little CPR already but needed some clean air myself.” He coughed and sucked back a few deep breaths. “Let’s get in the van and get the hell out of here.”

“Righty-ho.” Skye swung into the driver’s seat and they roared off with a screech of tires as soon as all the doors were closed.

* * * 

Coulson swam in and out of consciousness several times - visions and feelings incomplete and fragmented, and when he finally woke he wasn’t quite sure what had happened, how, or where he was. Someone with long dark hair hovered over him. 

“May,” he rasped, reaching for her hand.

“It’s Skye. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”

He blinked repeatedly and the world began to focus. “Where are we, and is May okay?”

“We’re at a remote cabin in the mountains - safe for the moment, and Agent May is, well … the same. Unconscious and we don’t know why.”

Coulson struggled to sit and surveyed the room. It looked more like a makeshift hospital than cabin, with three other beds holding motionless figures. A surprising amount of medical equipment filled one corner of the room. He coughed some more, feeling his lungs loosen up. “You guys have been busy. How long was I out?”

“Four hours, give or take,” Tripp answered. “Good to see you’re back, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me sir.”

“What should I call you then, Phil?”

“Sir will be just fine.” Coulson walked on unsteady legs over to the cot where May lay, and sat on the edge, putting his hand over hers. “How are the others?”

“Ward’s in pretty rough shape. Along with smoke inhalation and some first degree burns, he seems to have suffered quite a few lacerations and a couple of cracked ribs, not to mention a fractured larynx. I don’t know if they were all from the crash or … “ Simmons trailed off, eyes coming to rest on May.

“Probably both. I’m sure if May had her way she will have caused some of that damage. She looks pretty banged up too.” His heart tightened at the thought of Ward’s fists on her. “We owe him for what he did to us,” he said softly to the still figure beside him. “I hope you got payback for all of us. How about Mike?”

“We’re keeping him sedated for now,” Fitz answered. “No knowing how he’ll react when he wakes up and we’re not exactly in fighting form right now.” He nodded at the still bodies all around. 

“Wise. Where’d you get all of this stuff?”

“Normally I’d be against stealing from a hospital where they need all of this equipment, but - “ Fitz, as so often, finished Simmons’ sentence. “ - we really didn’t have a choice. Being public enemy number one means we can’t ask for what we need.”

“Good thinking.” Coulson allowed himself a small smile. “What about food? I’m starving.”

* * * 

She had to be dreaming, May was sure of it. The images flashing before her, appearing and disappearing randomly, were just too strange to be anything but figments of her imagination. Problem was, though she knew she was dreaming, she wasn’t able to wake herself up. 

Images of Garrett, Ward and even Coulson were menacing and grotesque; smiling one moment and teeth bared the next. It made her heart pound and her body break out in a cold sweat as she tried to push them away but her hands passed right through them as if they weren’t there …

* * * 

“She’s moving.” Coulson looked down at May then back up to Simmons. “She’s moving. Does that mean she’s waking up?”

“I wish I knew.” Simmons came over and put a hand on May’s forehead. “Oh my, she’s burning up!”

“That’s bad, right?”

“It’s not good. Fitz - “

“I’ve got it.”

“Got what?” Coulson asked, confused.

“An ibuprofen shot, to bring down her fever.” 

“Oh.” He watched as the two of them cared for her, thankful he had team members who knew what to do in this circumstance.

Losing May was not an option.

* * * 

The strange faces began to merge into normal ones and the flames that had been creeping around her subsided leaving her cool and almost refreshed. _Wake up_ , she told herself firmly. _Shake this off and wake up. Whatever this is, you need to wake up to fight it._ Voices - familiar voices washed over her, sounding disjointed and unintelligible, but far less menacing than the ones she’d been hearing earlier. May wasn’t entirely certain but she was pretty sure one of them was Coulson’s. _Come on, wake up dammit,_ she repeated.

“Phil?” she whispered, eyes still struggling to open.

“May-Lin. Thank goodness.” Coulson brought her hand to his lips and held it there. Then he smiled at her. “We were beginning to think you weren’t coming back.”

Tripp wriggled uncomfortably at the piercing look Coulson threw his way. He raised his shoulders and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’. 

“What happened in there?”

“We were hoping you could tell us,” Coulson said, focusing his attention back on her.

May leaned up slightly and drank deeply from the bottle of water Simmons held for her. “Take it slowly,” Simmons admonished. “Give yourself time to recover.”

She pushed up to a sitting position and leaned back against the pillow she’d propped there for her. “The last thing I remember was fighting with Ward, and then everything went dark. He must have knocked me out.”

Tripp shook his head. “You were on the winning end of that but then he got you with a syringe full of something. I don’t know what but it took you down instantly.”

“I didn’t have anything like that sitting around in the lab,” Simmons frowned. “It’s dangerous to leave things lying out where curious people can pick them up.”

“It wasn’t you,” Coulson comforted. “I’m pretty sure Raina was with them and who knows what she was cooking up in there. She had some pretty weird ideas,” he added, remembering their conversation about TAHITI.

“Can you figure out what it is by taking a sample of my blood?” May asked.

“Maybe. Hopefully. We can try.” Simmons assembled the necessary items. “Can we boil some more water? I need to sterilize these.”

“On it.” Skye moved toward the sink.

“So what happened after I blacked out? How did we end up here?”

Coulson nodded at Tripp who gave a short version of events. 

“So, you saved my life but you wrecked our plane.” May’s forehead creased. “I’m not sure if I should thank you or kill you.”

Tripp threw his arms up in the air helplessly. “I just can’t win, can I?”

Coulson nodded. “I’m with May. She’s ever the voice of my thoughts. Thank you for saving her, by the way. I’m in your debt for that.”

“We both are,” she added quietly.

“But you very nearly destroyed my plane and without SHIELD’s very deep pockets there’s no way we can fix her and get her flying again. I owe you a different kind of debt for that.”

“Ditto,” May murmured.

“I will continue to apologize for that as long as I live if need be, and do whatever I can to help rectify the situation, but you wanted Ward and Deathlok and we got them. It’s unfortunate there had to be collateral damage. At least Agent May is still with us.”

“He has a point,” Skye put in. “Two out of three ain’t bad, especially these two. You knew they were never going to be easy to take down.”

Tripp threw her a grateful look.

“True. We’ll dwell on what happened to my plane later. Now we have to figure out how to move forward.”

“Like Skye says, two out of three isn’t bad,” Fitz echoed. “Why don’t we take these two to the general and see if that’ll convince him to join forces with us? I’ve a feeling Garrett isn’t going to be easy to find.”

“No he isn’t,” Tripp said decisively. “He may be a little unbalanced - “

“A little?” Coulson murmured, shaking his head. 

“ - but he’s canny, in the true Scots sense of the word. He’ll be difficult to find and difficult to take down alive.”

“Well that’s just great,” Fitz lamented. “In that case we can use all the help we can get.”

“How about we don’t do that quite yet,” Skye put in.

Coulson considered her words, head cocked to one side. “What are you thinking Skye?”

“If we hand them over to the government they’ll become terrorist prisoners. What do you suppose they’ll do to them - just lock them up? I doubt it. Ward maybe, though they'll probably torture him, but they’ll try to take Mike apart to figure out how Hydra made him into a supersoldier so they can use that knowledge to make their own army to take us down.”

“You’re sounding like one of those paranoid anti-government hacker types,” Tripp warned. 

“That’s what she was before she joined the likes of us,” Simmons explained.

“She’s right,” May affirmed. “Frankly, I don’t really care what they do to Ward but Mike Peterson doesn’t deserve that. Hydra already took away everything including his son and any chance he might have had at a normal life. We should do whatever we can to get that back for him, not hand him over to people who will take him apart like a science experiment.”

“Agreed,” Coulson nodded. “I’m not quite sure how we’re going to do that but we’ll add it to our list of challenging things we need to accomplish in the short term. Nothing like pressing lists to get you moving … “

May sat back and watched as Coulson did what he did best: lead. One by one he talked to them all, checking to make sure everyone had a task and was feeling like a valued member of the team. Even more than his tactical skills, this was where his talent lay. Fury had seen it right from day one, though she herself hadn’t. She was glad then, that she hadn’t screwed up his first leadership assignment as her SO all those years ago. 

“Ouch!”

“Sorry,” Simmons apologized. “I haven’t done this in a while. Missed your vein there. I promise I’ll get it next try.”

May’s eyes narrowed though she didn’t speak. 

“How long will it take until you get results?” Coulson asked, walking back over to join them.

“I don’t know. Hopefully a couple of hours?” Simmons looked apologetic. “I’m not quite sure what I’m looking for so I’ll have to be very diligent to make sure I don’t miss anything.”

“What can I do in the meanwhile?” May asked, swinging her legs off the bed. 

Coulson was firm. “Rest.”

“I can’t. There’s work to be done and I’m not going to be a liability to my team.” 

Their eyes met, challenging. Neither gave ground. “I feel fine.”

“You’re suffering from something unknown and the only reason you feel fine is because you’re on medication to bring down your fever. You’re in no condition to be doing anything other than resting.”

“I can’t just lie here, Phil. Give me something to do. Please.”

He couldn’t resist a strong woman with pleading words on her lips and a tear in her eye. It wasn’t like her to ever give ground or admit weakness and it speared through his heart to see her this way. “Stay here for now. I’ll find something you can do. Sitting down.”

She didn’t say the words but in her eyes he could see the thank you. 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

He was getting antsy. She, who knew him so well, could see it plainly. Twenty-four hours and no progress made Coulson a very edgy man. He was hiding it well, and to give him credit, he was extremely patient with the others but May could see the frustration behind the calm exterior. She shared it; they were two of a kind that way and always had been. Results-oriented, and patience came at a high cost for both of them.

“Still nothing?” The frustration was now beginning to come through Coulson’s voice as well.

Simmons shrugged apologetically. “I wish I had answers for you but there’s nothing. I can’t find anything out of the ordinary, not even a normal ‘flu virus that would explain the fever.”

“Keep trying.”

“I’ll need some more blood … “ Her eyes turned to May, who rolled hers in turn and stuck out her arm.

“Go ahead. Payback will be sweet.”

“How much longer are we going to sit here and babysit these guys?” Tripp asked. Clearly frustration was eating at him too. He’d been pacing the floor for over six hours and May was sure he’d nearly worn a hole in the varnish.

Skye cleared her throat. “Well, you me and Coulson could go out looking for them - I’ve mapped out where they could be given when they left and how they might be traveling - but then we’d be leaving these three alone to deal with Ward and Mike. Uhn uh. Bad idea.”

“Since when did you become such a confident tactician?” May asked.

“Since I had to. Ward is … well you know, and you’re not exactly in tiptop shape. These guys?” She pointed at Fitz and Simmons. “They do what they do best. That leaves me to help Coulson figure out the plan.”

“Hey!”

Skye looked over at Tripp and shrugged. “Sorry. You’re still new to the team, not part of that whole thing we had going on.”

“We had a thing?” May’s question almost had Coulson laughing out loud. She nearly smiled as she watched him try to hold it back.

“Well _some_ of us did.” Skye put her hands on her hips. “Just because you’re an antisocial grouch … “

“Well _some_ of you can figure it out without me then, since I’m apparently incapable,” May interrupted.

“Okay, that’s enough. We need to stick together, not pick each other apart,” Coulson said sternly. “Ideas, people. I need ideas.”

“Do you have enough drugs to keep them knocked out for a while?” May waved a hand toward the other patients.

Simmons nodded. “Yes, at least another twelve hours’ worth.”

“Good. If we keep them heavily sedated, you and I can stay and manage things here while the rest of you go looking for Garrett.”

The room was silent.

“Okay, it isn’t a great plan, but the longer we wait to go after him, the further away he’ll get, and when he goes to ground we’ve lost the battle. We won’t see him again until he wants to be found and then he’ll be ready for us.”

“She’s right,” Fitz agreed. “If we don’t head him off before he finds a hidey hole, we might as well give up now.”

“Speaking of hidey holes,” Skye said slowly, turning to face Tripp, “you’ve been with him for several years now, haven’t you? If he has a safe place to hole up and regroup, wouldn’t you know about it?”

“Are you kidding me? Garrett doesn’t trust anyone.” He frowned. “But there are a few possibilities I heard tell of, one not too far from here, in Vegas.”

“Vegas? Not too far?” Skye was incredulous.

“Hey, at least it’s in the same state. It could have been Vermont.”

“Skye, map out a route to Vegas, preferably one with a gas station along the way. We leave in five, people.” Coulson sighed heavily. “If you need to use the restroom, now’s your chance. I’m not stopping in the middle of the desert.”

The air, now charged with anticipation, had May’s blood humming along with it. Coulson leaned close to her, speaking softly so only she could hear. “I know how hard it is for you to stay back. Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

She looked into his eyes. “I don’t really have a choice. I’m not fit for combat.”

He touched her arm. “Hold down the fort until we get back, okay? You’re in charge here … so don’t end up unconscious again.”

“I’ll do my best,” was her response, eliciting a brief smile from him.

“Okay, let’s get going.” Coulson’s eyes lingered on her for a moment on the way out. “Au revoir, May-lin.”

“Auf wiedersehen.”

Simmons closed the door behind them and turned around, crossing her arms over her chest. “I didn’t know you two spoke languages other than English.” 

“We don’t, mostly, just a few phrases. I wasn’t too bad with French and Italian in my early days with Shield, but since I haven’t been in the field much these last few years … “

“Well at least you remember something. I think it’s sweet, talking to each other that way.” She smiled brightly.

 _You would_. “It’s a thing we do. Never say goodbye. In this business if you say goodbye when someone goes on a mission, it may well be the last goodbye you ever say. So we say ‘til I see you again’ or a variation on that. It’s more … hopeful.”

“Oh. I never thought of it that way.”

“It’s hard, watching people you care for go out into dangerous situations, knowing you can’t go with them and have their backs when things get tough.”

“I don’t mean to be forward - “ Simmons took a step towards May. “ - but are you and Agent Coulson … “

“I don’t just mean us.” May gave her a very direct look and she blushed.

“Oh, we’re just friends. There’s nothing between me and Fitz.”

“What about you and Tripp?”

Simmons blush deepened. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Uh huh.”

“Really.” She turned away and walked back to the makeshift ‘lab’ in the corner. “I should run some more tests.”

“Go ahead.” May leaned back and closed her eyes. She suddenly felt incredibly weary and drained, as if she’d gone another few rounds with Ward. _I just need a few minutes,_ she told herself. _A bit of rest and I’ll be as good as new._ And with that thought, she fell sound asleep.

* * * 

“I can’t believe you left them there.”

Coulson’s temper, already on a razor edge, came close to snapping at Skye’s criticism. “What else would you have me do? I don’t like it any more than you and I know May isn’t exactly thrilled about it either, but she’s right. We have to do this now.”

“So putting the mission ahead of our people’s welfare is what we’re supposed to do now?”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. “People are more important than missions and goals.” 

“What the hell do you think we’re doing here, Skye?” The wire snapped. “I’m not after Garrett because I’m under orders to get him, nor is it some puerile contest that I need to win in order to feel manly. I’m doing this to save people. _People_. He’s a madman and he doesn’t care who he hurts and kills in order to get what he wants. I’m trying to stop him to protect everyone, Skye, and that everyone includes Simmons and May. Particularly May. She was one of the team that took him down, captured his men, and forced him to flee. Who do you think he’s going to come for when he’s thirsting for revenge?”

Skye’s indignant anger fell away under his tirade. Not a word was spoken in the van for a full two minutes.

“He’s right,” Tripp said softly. “If we don’t stop him now, we’ll never be safe. We’ll always be looking over our shoulders, waiting and wondering when he’ll come and who he’ll have to go through to get to us, because nothing will stop him. Nothing.”

* * * 

“Well, well, what have we here? Coulson leaving his playthings alone for just anyone to take? Tsk, tsk.”

Simmons spun around, eyes wide with fear. “It’s you!” she stammered out.

Garrett smiled. “In the flesh. Sort of.” He winked at her and nodded. Raina stepped out of the shadows and stood beside him.

“Agent May!” Simmons squeaked out.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He unholstered his gun and pointed it at her. 

May struggled to reach consciousness. There was danger; she could sense it, hear it, almost taste it in the air but her eyes felt like lead, her body like it was pinned down.

“Wakey, wakey, Melinda May. You’re no fun when you’re asleep.”

“What was in that syringe?” she gasped, forcing herself awake and trying to sit up.

Raina shook her head. “You really don’t want to know.”

“I really do. _What did you do to me?”_

“Yeah, what were you doing in the lab, Flowers?”

“It’s better not to know. Just let it do its work and you’ll die soon, without much pain.”

“You bitch!” May flew off the table at her, arms outstretched, summoning every ounce of strength she could find.

“Hey now.” Garrett swung the gun around and point it at May. “Stop that. Don’t make me shoot you.”

May’s hands closed over Raina’s throat and squeezed. “I’m going to die anyway. Do it quickly.”

“So be it.” He pulled the trigger and May went down instantly.

“Oh my God!” Simmons cried. “You killed her!”

Garrett chuckled. “With this little thing? It’s a stun gun, my dear. Agent May is far too valuable for me to kill. Maybe later, once she’s outlived her usefulness to me, but even then … “ His eyes caressed the still body on the ground. “She’s far too fine to waste. I should make her mine - “ He mused a moment, a nasty smile darkening his face. “There’s something poetic about taking Phil’s woman and making her mine.”

“He’ll never let you.”

“How is he going to stop me?” Garrett spread his arms wide. “Are you May’s bodyguard? Unless you’re Wonder Woman in disguise, I think there’s really only one way this can go. Raina.” He clapped his hands. “Get Ward and Deathlok and bring them to the truck. You, help her.”

“Over my dead body.”

“If you prefer it that way darlin’, but who’s going to be here to tell Phil what happened?” He smiled but it quickly turned to a snarl. “Get going and help Flowers. _Now_.”

He knelt and stroked May’s hair off her face while the women worked. 

“He is absolutely mad,” Simmons whispered as they carried Ward’s body outside.

“Yes he is.”

“So are you.”

Raina stopped walking and turned to look at her. “Quite possibly.”

“What was in that syringe and how do I counteract it?”

“You don’t.”

“Just tell me!”

“I can’t.”

“Why, because you’re afraid of him?” Simmons nodded towards the cabin.

“I’m not afraid of anyone.” The look in her eyes was chilling and it certainly made Simmons afraid, for herself as well as for May.

“Then why can’t you tell me how to cure Agent May?”

“Because there is no cure and no way to make one. She _will_ die, quickly and painlessly if she lets it happen. Slowly and agonizingly if she tries to fight it.”

“Why? Why did you make something so horrible? As a scientist you should want to help people, not kill them.”

“It wasn’t meant to kill. It was meant to help the whole evolutionary process along. We humans need to shake the bonds of our humanity and become something more. _Better_. I’m trying to save people.”

“By killing them.”

“If need be. Survival of the fittest - surely as a fellow scientist you can understand that. This transformation is a difficult process and only those that survive will become better. Unfortunately I haven’t done many trials yet, and all of the ones I’ve done haven’t been worthy of evolution … “

“You’re both crazy and I’m not letting you take her.”

Raina shook her head and spoke as if to a child. “You can’t stop him from doing what he wants. He doesn’t like when _things_ get in the way.”

“Ladies, step it up.” Garrett appeared in the doorway, May in his arms, still unconscious. Go get Deathlok and hurry up.”

He placed May in the flatbed of the truck beside Ward. “Sorry you have to ride in the back sweetheart. You’ll get shotgun soon, as soon as I don’t need Flowers anymore.” He handcuffed both of her hands to the truck and stepped out of the way as they brought the last body, helping to pull Deathlok up to lie beside her. 

“What did you do to my guys?” he asked.

Simmons glared at him. “Sedated them.”

“When will they wake up?”

She shrugged. “When they do.”

“You’re really no help at all. I don’t know why Coulson keeps you around.” He whipped out the gun and stunned her before she could even open her mouth to cry out, jumping down and dragging her body just into the doorway of the cabin. “Coulson’s knickers will be in such a twist when he sees this.” Garrett giggled. “Too bad we can’t stick around and watch but we have places to go and things to do. Hop in, Flowers. Let’s burn some rubber.”

* * * 

“I’ve got a ping.” Tripp pulled the flashing gizmo out of his pocket. Coulson’s heart clenched.

“What does it mean?” Skye asked.

“The equipment isn’t sophisticated enough to actually send messages. All we know is that they needed to get in touch with us.”

“Something is wrong. Something went wrong.”

Coulson looked over at Skye, the feeling in his gut agreeing with her. “Turn us around,” he ordered Fitz, who was driving. “Turn us around now. We have to go back.”

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

_“Again.”_

_“No.”_

_“Again.”_

_“No.”_

_“Again.”_

_“What part of ‘no’ do you not get?” May was seriously perturbed. Add to that bone-weary, tired, and shaky from the repeated physical exercises he was tormenting her with, and May felt she might just snap and murder him right there on the spot._

_“What part of ‘again’ do_ you _not get?”_

_“Why? I’ve done it successfully three times in a row.”_

_“Because I want to see you do it a fourth time.”_

_Coulson had been sparring with her for nearly an hour and yet he still looked calm, fresh and ready to go several more rounds with her. It was infuriating. A part of her envied him and wished she had his control. Another part just wanted to quit and go home._

_“No. I’m not doing it again.” She crossed her arms over her chest._

_“Then you get a failing grade, recruit.”_

_Her nostrils flared. “You’re an ass, you know that Coulson? And my name isn’t recruit.”_

_“It is if I say it is.”_

_“You like this, don’t you? Having power over me. Getting to order me around and behave like a pompous asshole.”_

_“Yes, I have to say there’s definitely some pleasure in it. Now do it again or you flunk out and I’ll tell Fury to send you back where you came from.”_

_She growled, furious at him, and lunged, grappling and tackling until she had him down, pinned underneath her on the mat. Their eyes locked and tension crackled between them. Electricity jolted through her veins and May felt more acutely alive than she ever had before._

_Coulson smiled slowly. “That’s better. I knew you had it in you, Melinda.” His fingers closed over hers and squeezed._

_His face betrayed no emotion but she could feel the galloping of his pulse beneath her and the places where their bodies touched burned. “Why? Why do you have to be like this?”_

_“It got results, didn’t it?” They pulled apart and stood up, standing carefully separate. “My job isn’t to make you like me, Mel. Can I call you Mel? It’s to pull every bit of strength I can from you - physically and mentally - and help you become a warrior. Shield has to know you won’t quit when the going gets tough. And trust me, it’s always tough.”_

_“I won’t quit,” she said flatly, still frowning. “I never quit.”_

_His smile deepened. “Good. Then I’ll see you back here tomorrow at 6am.”_

_“Yes.” As he turned to walk away she called after him, “and Coulson. I think I’m beginning to like you.”_

_He turned back, blue eyes glowing. “Good. You can call me Phil from now on.”_

_He watched as she turned and walked past him out of the room. His heart pounded painfully and his arms itched to be around her again. 6am couldn’t come soon enough._ I know I’m beginning to like you, _he thought, inhaling her scent, still lingering in the room._

* * * 

Skye leaned closer to Coulson. “What do you think might have happened?”

“I can imagine several things, none of them good.”

She looked long and hard at him and could almost see his heart beating through his shirt. _His cybernetic heart,_ she reminded herself. _Does it race when he’s worried? Excited?_ She imagined it must. Clearly he felt love and pain and all the other emotions ascribed to the heart, as his worry for May and Simmons was nearly a tangible thing riding in the van along with them. He was already out the door and running before Fitz stopped the van, Tripp on his heels, a weapon drawn and ready.

“May! Simmons!” His eyes fell on Simmons, still prone on the ground. “Oh no!”

“Gemma!” Fitz flew to her side, pushing everyone including Coulson out of the way. He knelt, picking up her head and cradling it in his lap. “Gemma, oh god .. “ He felt for a pulse and found it. “Wake up, wake up Gemma. I’m here.”

As she remained unconscious, his eyes narrowed and he fixed them on Coulson. “You did this to her. You’re responsible for this. We should never have left her behind. If she’s hurt, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Get in line,” Coulson murmured, looking up at Skye, who shook her head. “At least Simmons is still here and alive. May’s gone.” He choked on the last word, getting up and stalking a few paces away to collect himself. 

“You’re responsible for that too,” Fitz growled. “You left them here, undefended … “

“To be fair, it was May’s idea … “ Skye said softly, under his rant.

“I know.” Coulson turned to face them.

“ … knowing danger was out there, looking for them … “

“Danger’s always out there,” Skye said in an undertone. “Especially now.”

“I know.”

“You should have come up with a better plan … “ Fitz’s voice rose in anger.

Tripp weighed in. “We didn’t have a lot of options.”

“ … because you’ve lost one member of your team and gotten another hurt … “

“I know!” Coulson shouted, shutting them all down. He held up a hand, swallowing hard. “I know,” he repeated, in a quieter voice. “They were my responsibility and I took a risk with their lives. It was my call to make and I take full blame for it and whatever repercussions come from it. I hope with all my heart that Simmons is just unconscious and is unharmed in every other way.” He swallowed again, steadying himself. “But May, Ward and Mike are all missing and we have to figure out what happened to them.”

“Garrett.” All heads turned to look down at Simmons, whose blue eyes were open but wide with fear. “Agent Garrett and Raina took them. All of them. I tried to stop him … “

“It’s okay Gemma, it wasn’t your place … “ Fitz began but Coulson interrupted.

“Did he hurt May?” HIs words were short and clipped, tinged with anger.

She shook her head. “Not that I’m aware of. He used a stun gun on her and loaded her and the others onto a truck.”

“Coulson!” At his name, Coulson ran outside the cabin. “I’ve got tracks,” Tripp said breathlessly. “Heading this way.”

“Good work.” Coulson stood silently for a moment, eyes scanning the horizon though he knew there was no chance at seeing them.

“What do you want to do now?” Skye asked, as she joined them.

“What I want to do and what I’m going to do are two very different things.” _I want to kick myself for leaving them. Leaving her. I should never have left her side. And I want to choke the life out of Garrett if I find he’s hurt her in any way …_

“I don’t think I understand,” she said slowly. 

A half smile pulled up his lip briefly. “Nevermind. Tripp, do you think you can keep tracking them?”

“Yes sir, I think so.”

“Good. Let’s get a directional heading and then you can work out possible destinations based on that, Skye. Let’s get Simmons settled in and we can get moving.”

Skye and Tripp helped buckle a still-weak Simmons into the back of the van while Fitz walked Coulson a few steps away from the vehicle. 

“I’m not going to forget this,” he whispered grimly. “Even if she’s okay, I’m not going to forget what you did and I don’t know if I can forgive you for putting her in danger.”

 _I stopped asking for and expecting forgiveness long ago son_ , Coulson thought. _There is no forgiveness for the things I’ve done and will continue to do. I can’t expect others to forgive me when I can’t forgive myself._ He merely said, “I understand. Now it’s time to go.”

* * * 

Riding in the back of a truck - handcuffed no less - was not the best way to wake up. Of course it probably wasn’t the best way to do anything, May concluded, but given her less-than-stellar physical shape, this was more of a trial than it should have been for her. _At least we’re not in the desert anymore,_ she thought wryly, appreciating the shade of the canopy overhead.

Testing her bonds, she realized she wasn’t going to get free, so she took a deep breath and began some relaxation meditation. When facing an unknown situation, it was best to be rested, relaxed, and ready for anything. Words of wisdom she’d learned in the early days of her training and that had stuck with her and stood her in good stead all the years since. Facing Garrett, Raina, Ward and Mike was going to be one of the most formidable tasks of her career and she needed all the mental acuity she could find to be ready for it. 

_“Do you know what the three R’s are, Mel?”_

_She quirked an eyebrow. “Reading, writing and arithmetic?”_

_“Only one of those is actually an R. Get with the program, padawan.”_

_“I am not your padawan, Phil. This isn’t Star Wars.”_

_“Why not think of it that way?” He flashed her the endearing smile she was beginning to get used to. “It’s more fun that way.”_

_“Fine. When do I get my lightsaber then?”_

_“When you make it.”_

_“Make it?”_

_Coulson sighed. “Haven’t you seen the movies? All Jedi make their own lightsabers. It’s part of their training.”_

_May couldn’t help but smile. “You are such a geek.”_

_“Guilty as charged. Now you get a second chance at that question and I expect all three words to start with R.”_

_“Give me a hint?”_

_“Give you the night to think on it, I will,” he said, doing a fairly decent Yoda. She burst out laughing._

_The door to the gym opened and Fury strode in. “Having fun?”_

_They both straightened up and stood at attention, smiles fading. “Just finishing up for the evening,” Coulson said._

_“At ease.” He smiled at them, unexpected but welcome. “I’d like to have a word in private with Agent Coulson, if I may.”_

_“Of course.” May locked eyes with Coulson and something between them burned bright. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

_“6am. Right here. And don’t forget your homework. The three R’s.”_

_“I’m sure it’ll keep me up all night,” she retorted over her shoulder as she stepped out of the gym and closed the door behind her._

* * * 

It was often said that in the moments just preceding death your whole life flashes before you ... except when death came so quickly you didn’t have those moments to reflect. That had been Coulson’s experience; he was dead before he’d even had a chance to curse Loki for killing him.

Now, now when life was hanging in the balance for the woman he loved, those moments seemed to stretch on forever and he couldn’t seem to get the memories of their times together out of his head.

_“You wanted to see me sir?” Coulson forced his eyes to stay on Fury’s, though he desperately wanted to watch May walk out. “Is there a problem?”_

_“No problem, Phil, I just wanted to ask you about your protege.”_

_His heart began to pound. “What do you want to know?”_

_“How’s she doing? Is she keeping up with your demands?”_

_“And then some.”_

_“So you think she’s got what it takes? She’s real Shield material?”_

_“I think so, sir. She wasn’t overly willing in the beginning, but she’s really taken this on and grown exponentially in the last month. Physically she’ll be there soon. She’s nearly ready now. Mentally … will take a little longer.”_

_Fury smiled wryly. “It usually does. This is good news.”_

_“Oh, do you have plans for her?”_

_“No, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be telling you,” he snapped, then softened at Coulson’s hurt look. “It’s never a good idea to reveal too much. Haven’t I taught you that? I’m just glad to hear things are going well.” Fury stopped talking and his gaze wandered. “She’s a very special girl. I saw it the moment I laid eyes on her. This girl has potential, the potential to be one of the best. So don’t screw it up,” he added fiercely, coming back to the present and staring Coulson right in the eye. “Make her into the best agent you can and don’t let personal feelings get in the way.”_

_Coulson felt his cheeks grow warm. “I don’t know what you mean, sir.”_

_“Of course you know what I mean. Hands off; she’s off limits to you while you’re her SO. Understood?”_

_Coulson swallowed. “Yes sir.”_

_“Can you stick with it, because if not, I can relieve you of your duties and train her myself.”_

_“I can do it sir.”_ As long as I take a long cold shower every time I’m anywhere near her. _But Coulson understood what Fury was telling him and what was at stake, and no matter how tough it was going to be, he would follow orders and only be romantically involved with Melinda May in his dreams. For there, he couldn’t control what he did …_

**TBC**

AN: Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than the others - it was nearly done and I wanted to get it posted before I go away on holidays, so I didn't have time to add another sequence to it. Enjoy all, and I'll be back with more in a few weeks!


	7. Chapter 7

May gritted her teeth. The pain was worse than anything she’d ever felt, like someone was tearing her into pieces from the inside out. 

“Painful, isn’t it?” Raina said, somewhat sympathetically. “I told you it would hurt less if you stopped fighting it.”

“And die without even so much as a whimper? No thanks.” She grimaced and swore internally as another wave of pain hit.

“I really am sorry this process is so painful. I wish there was some way I could fix that.”

May looked around the lab She knew next to nothing about genetics and chemistry and hadn’t a clue what any of the beakers and test tubes held. Even if she could break free - and that was becoming more questionable as time passed; she could feel her strength ebbing away - she wouldn’t have a clue what to inject herself with to reverse the effects of whatever she’d been dosed with. _Shit,_ she thought, nearly voicing the thought aloud. _This is some fine mess I’ve gotten myself into._ May had never been one to take things lying down but this was one foe she had no idea how to fight as it slowly drained her life away …

“How’s the patient doing?” Garrett’s warm voice asked as he entered the room. _Warm?_ she thought, wondering at her mind’s choice of adjective. But no, warm was the right word. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought he actually cared. _I guess crazy people have to sound endearing too in order to convince others to join them._

“She seems to be in a fair amount of pain,” Raina answered.

“That’s too bad.” He turned to face her. 

May struggled to keep her face placid and emotionless. “It’s really not that bad.”

Raina’s eyes narrowed. “She’s lying.”

“Is she going to die?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t let her.”

“I … I can’t stop it.” For the first time she sounded unsure. “There’s no cure - “

Garrett swung around on her, snarling. “Then make one,” he said fiercely. “Because if Agent May dies, you’ll be the next one pushing up daisies. Understood?”

She nodded but May could see her visibly paling.

“Agent May. Melinda, such a pretty name. Do you mind if I call you that?”

“Yes.”

“Melinda. Such spunk, even when facing intense pain and death. Is it any wonder Phil is so hung up on you?”

“He really isn’t.”

“Oh no, my dear, he really is. Maybe you don’t see it, maybe you just don’t want to see it, but he’d give the world to save you.”

“He’s not going to give you what you want, no matter what you do to me.”

“Oh but he is.” He leaned down so their faces were only inches apart. “We both know he’ll come after you and then I’ll have exactly what I want: Phil Coulson.” He leaned closed and brushed his cheek against hers. “And there’s nothing his trusted bodyguard can do to stop it.”

May struggled against the restraints that held her, to no avail. She shuddered in revulsion as he kissed her ear.

Garrett pulled away, laughing. “So you’re still hung up on him too. I should have known. That’ll make taking you that much sweeter.”

“You’ll never take me,” she spat.

He waggled a finger at her. “Never say never. Now get working on that cure, Flowers. I want Agent May fit and healthy.”

And with that, he left the room. It seemed much emptier without him and though she disliked and distrusted him, May had to admit he had a certain charm. Charisma, it was called, and she recognized it clearly and knew how dangerous it was. The man she knew best of all had it in spades and she’d never been able to refuse him anything, good or bad.

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Touching you. Something I’ve done a hundred times a day for the last eighteen months during your training. I’m surprised you don’t recognize it.”_

_May’s eyebrow quirked. “This is different.”_

_“I know.” Coulson’s eyes sparkled and he pulled her closer, sliding his hands from her hips all the way around her waist and lacing his fingers at the small of her back. “This is how I’ve wanted to touch you all this time.”_

_“Phil … “_

_“Mel … “_

_“We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s against the rules.”_

_“Correction: we weren’t allowed to do this while I was your SO. I’m not anymore.”_

_“You still outrank me.”_

_“And I probably always will.” It wasn’t arrogance that had him uttering those words. She knew all-too well now that that was just natural confidence in his own leadership and his desire to work his way to the top of the hierarchy speaking. He meant no insult or disrespect._

_“Phil … “_

_He unlaced one hand and laid a finger across her lips, silencing her protests. “Be honest with me Mel, do you want this or not? If you can honestly tell me you don’t want me like this, I’ll walk away and never touch you again. Promise.”_

_“Don’t.” The word slipped out before conscious thought._

_“Don’t?” he repeated softly, eyes darkening._

_“Don’t walk away,” she whispered. “I do want you.”_

_“Good.” The smile lit his face slowly as his hand slid back to the nape of her neck. “Good.” He leaned in and their lips met. Electricity sparked every nerve ending and May felt as though her legs might collapse under her._

_“Are we going to get in trouble for this?” she whispered as they broke apart._

_He rested his forehead against hers and pulled her closer. “Probably. But I don’t care.”_

“You know he’s absolutely certifiable, right?” May said to Raina once they were alone. “He’s going to kill you anyway, whether you save me or not. He kills because he likes killing. Why’d you take up with him?”

Raina whirled around, eyes white. “I didn’t have a choice! I needed a place to do my work and people to experiment on, and mainstream scientists pooh-poohed my hypothesis and wouldn’t give me a chance.”

“Can’t imagine why not, what with you killing people,” May said dryly, grimacing as the pain gripped her again, this time more sharply in the chest.

“Natural selection. I’m trying to create a new species and only the strongest will survive. Eventually my serum will triumph and we will become newer and better. Stronger, more resilient. Darwin believed it; I don’t understand why everyone else thinks the idea is crazy.”

“Well you’d better get working on that antidote or Garrett will kill you before you get a chance to see any success.”

* * * 

Coulson stopped the van and Tripp hopped out. “Now what?” Skye said, raising her eyebrows and pointing at the sheer cliff face ahead of them.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, ignoring the grunt directed at him from the backseat. He rolled down the window as Tripp walked back. “Well?”

“The tracks stop here. Right here, as if the truck just vanished into thin air.”

“Well we know that isn’t possible,” Coulson said. “It can’t have just vanished. Skye, come with me.”

The two of them joined Tripp outside and listened intently as he explained what they were seeing. “I don’t understand. Even if there was a secret door into the mountain, the tracks would go all the way to the edge, not just stop here.”

“What if they didn’t drive in?” Skye asked.

“Where’s it now then?” Tripp demanded. “If they left it out here it should still be here.”

Skye shrugged. “Maybe someone stole it.”

Coulson shook his head. There had to be a more obvious answer. He wished May were here; obvious was her forte. 

“Maybe they parked it somewhere else.”

“Maybe there isn’t a secret entrance or base here at all,” Coulson put in, thinking out loud. “Maybe they just want us to think there is.”

“Why the blind? How would they know we’d track them down?”

“He took May,” he said grimly. “Garrett knows I’d do anything to get her back. He and I have known each other a lot of years and worked together many times. He knows me.”

“That can be a disadvantage.” Tripp frowned.

Skye shook her head. “Turn it around and make it an advantage. If he knows you that well, it means you know _him_ that well. Think like the enemy and you’ll catch him.”

Coulson walked a few steps away from them and stared off into the trees. If he were the one leading them on a chase, what would he do? Skye’s head turned at the snap of his fingers. “I’ve got it. Back in the van. Guys, keep your eyes open for any tracks off the main road.”

“You’re thinking … “

“This is definitely a blind. The real trail was somewhere back there and we need to find it.”

They travelled back a couple of miles before finding it. “There!” Skye pointed. Coulson jerked the van to a stop. “Barely visible, between those pine trees. I think I see tracks.”

Tripp hopped out, nose almost to the ground. “She’s right. Almost hidden by the needles. Wouldn’t have even thought to look here.”

“Not when there’s an obvious trail on the main road.” Coulson smacked a fist on the steering wheel. “Hurry up, let’s get moving. Every second counts.”

“It really does,” Simmons joined in from the back, sounding stronger now. “Whatever was in the syringe Ward got her with, Raina said it was deadly.”

His hands were white on the wheel. “How long does she have?”

“I don’t know. She just said there was no cure.”

The van fell silent.

 _Damn, damn, damn!_ Coulson thought. _I have to save her. I can’t let her die. there has to be a way._

Skye, sitting beside him, watched the various expressions flit across his face before it settled on grim seriousness. “Do you have a plan?”

“Not yet, but there has to be a way.”

“If there’s no cure there may be nothing you can do,” she said softly.

“There’s no cure for being stabbed through the heart or shot in the chest and stomach multiple times either,” he said sharply, “but we’re living proof that there is a way.”

“Are you saying - “

“I’ll do whatever I have to, to save her. Period.” They drove in silence until another dead end stopped them, another face of the cliff they’d stopped at earlier. 

“Look! Over there! I see the truck!” Fitz pointed.

“Good. Wait here until we find the entrance.” Coulson nodded at Tripp to follow him. “It’s got to be somewhere close,” he said, running his hand along the rock’s surface. 

“Why close? It could be far away from here. Trickier for us to find then.”

Coulson shook his head. “Garrett’s not a particularly big guy and Raina is downright petite. You think they could have carried May and an unconscious Ward and Mike any great distance? Doubtful.”

“Point.” Tripp frowned. “Something over here looks odd - “ He leaned in closer and whistled. “I think it’s a camera. They’ll know we’re here.”

“I’d be surprised if they didn’t. Keep searching for a way in.” He’d barely finished talking when a smooth chunk of stone swung inwards soundlessly. “Nice work. I suppose we should make sure we’re armed before we … “

“No need.” Mike Peterson, AKA Deathlok, stood before them. “Give me whatever weapons you have on you and follow me. Garrett’s expecting you.”

“See? I told you.” Coulson turned his head and yelled over his shoulder, “stay with the van.”

“Like hell,” Skye murmured. “You two stay. I’m going in with them.” She leapt out of the van and ran.

“But Skye … “ Fitz sighed. “She never listens.”

“Never mind. They’ll need the help more than we will out here.”

Fitz leaned forward and hit the central locks. “Just in case.”

“I thought I said wait in the van. Didn’t I say that?” Coulson turned to Tripp, studiously ignoring Skye. 

“Sorry. I guess I didn’t hear you.” She smiled sweetly.

“Brat.” 

“Hey Mike. It’s good to see you again,” she said as he approached her and began to pat her down. Her smile turned to a frown as he showed her no recognition.

“Follow me. He’s waiting.”

“I didn’t want you in here,” Coulson hissed at Skye, hanging back with her and letting Tripp get ahead.

“Yeah, I got that.”

Interpreting her look, he touched her arm. “I trust you and value your help. I just don’t want to run the risk of losing you too.”

“We’re a team, aren’t we? We do things together.”

A long speech about knowing when less was more and which specific resources from each team should be used when, began to unspool in his head but he quashed it and gave her a sad smile instead. “You’re right, we do. But May’s going to be mighty pissed if you get hurt rescuing her.”

She smiled. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Good. Now whatever you do, follow my lead in there. No going lone cowboy on me, understand? If we’re going to work as a team, there has to be a leader and I’m it. One mind, many parts. I give the orders, you two do as I say without question, without hesitation. Got it?”

“Got it.”

He took a deep breath and tried to steady his pounding heart, hoping against hope that she would turn out to be as good an agent as May, and just as easy to work with.

_“Agent Coulson.”_

_“Director Fury, sir.”_

_“I’m very pleased with your first assignment with Agent May. It’s early yet but you two seem to be creating a good working partnership and if this continues, I’d like to keep you together.”_

_“Yes sir.”_

_“Tell me about the op.”_

_“It’s all there in the report.”_

_Fury closed the report and folded his arms over it. “I’ve read it. Now tell me what you didn’t put in the report. We both know there are always things that go unsaid in reports. This was May’s first assignment. How was she in the field? Did you two have any problems? I want the details.”_

_The back of his neck grew warm and Coulson struggled to find words. He couldn’t tell Fury some of what had gone on during the op …_

_“She’s fast, she’s precise and she follows orders like a dream. In fact I think she anticipated my orders as she was always exactly where I needed her to be before I said anything, sir.”_

_“Hmm. Good. She’s developing as I’d hoped she would. You two will be together on your next assignment. Take a couple of days off and be back here - with Agent May - on Thursday for the briefing.”_

_“Yes sir.”_

_“Dismissed.”_

_Coulson’s heart leapt as he left the Director’s office. He and May were going to continue working together! But better yet, they both had two days off before that … two days to spend together, just the two of them with no work to keep their minds off romance …._

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

“Phil. So good to see you again. And Skye. I know Ward will be pleased to see you.”

She growled audibly but choked it back at an almost imperceptible signal from Coulson. 

Finally Garrett’s eyes focused on Tripp. “Antoine. Such a disappointment. I never figured you for a turncoat.” He shrugged. “Goes to show even the best of us can be wrong sometimes.”

“Where’s May?” Coulson snapped, interrupting him.

“Never one for small talk, were you Phil? I wish I could say she’s fine but at least she’s still alive. For now.”

“Where is she?” he growled, anger darkening his face in a way Skye had never seen before. She was truly frightened by it.

“You’ll get her back - hopefully alive, if Flowers does her job - once I get what I want. You.”

“You want to trade her for me? Done. Now let her go.”

“Not so fast. I need assurances that you’re on the level and don’t have some secret plan you’ll put in motion as soon as I let her go.”

Coulson shrugged and spread his arms wide. “I’m unarmed. We all are. You said it yourself; May isn’t doing well - “ he nearly choked up “ - so what kind of threat could she pose to you?”

“All valid points I grant you, but I’ve known you long enough to know never to underestimate you.”

“Clearly we need to adopt that strategy,” Skye mumbled almost under her breath.

Coulson, ignoring her, stepped forward. “Please. John. Let May go. No tricks, no plans. I just want her back safely.”

Garrett sighed theatrically. “The course of true love always seems to be a rocky one. Honestly, she’s really not doing so well. She’s probably better off here; Flowers is working on a cure for whatever was in that goddamned syringe. She’s more likely to die if you take her away than if you leave her here.”

Coulson pondered that information for a moment.

“Don’t trust him,” Tripp advised.

“I’m not sure I have a choice. My life for hers you said? Fine. I’ll stay here until she’s cured and you let her go. Then you’ll have me.”

“You’ll stay behind? After I let her go?”

“You have my word.”

“Coulson - “ Skye began.

“No Skye. I have to do this.”

She looked into his clear blue eyes, saw the love sparkling through the tears he was holding back, and knew the battle was futile. “Fine. Then I”ll stay with you until Garrett lets her go.”

“No!”

Garrett smiled. “Very generous of you, my girl. Ward will be pleased. I tried to teach him not to have attachments but he seems to have developed strong feelings for you.“

Coulson turned to Tripp. “You should go. Skye and I can take care of ourselves. The others need you.”

“Oh don’t worry about them, we can put them up too,” Garrett said, gleefully clapping his hands together. “We have plenty of room. I’ll just get Deathlok to bring them inside - you do know I sent him out to keep an eye on them, just to make sure they stayed safe without you. Grant,” he called over his shoulder. “I need you here.”

Ward entered almost immediately, eyes widening in a quick show of surprise when they landed on Skye. 

“Grant. Take your friend and spend a little time with her. She’s our guest for a while so make sure you keep a close eye on her and give her anything she needs.”

Ward grabbed Skye’s upper arm and held it tight as he led her away. Mike Peterson entered with Fitz and Simmons just as the door closed behind them. 

“Mike. Take our guests to the meeting room and see they don’t leave it. I’ll deal with them later.”

“I want to see May now,” Coulson said, locking eyes with Garrett. “Take me to her. I need to make sure she’s alive. And I don’t want your people harming any of my team. Fitz, Simmons and Tripp are to be let go.”

“I don’t believe you’re in any position to be giving orders Phil, but since I like you I’ll agree to your terms. See what nice guy I can be? But if you or your people try anything it’s no more Mr. Nice Guy and people will get hurt.” He made a gun motion with his hand. “Capiche? Oh and one other thing. Tripp isn’t part of your team, he’s mine. And he’s earned himself some serious punishment for his betrayal.”

“No!” Simmons and Skye both shouted in unison.

“I don’t like it,” Coulson said quietly.

“Maybe not, but you don’t have a choice do you? If you want to see pretty Melinda again then Tripp comes with me.”

What was he supposed to do? Shield policy had always been clear on negotiating with terrorists, kidnappers, and never leaving a team member behind, but having to sacrifice one to save another? Not something he’d ever had to face. Offering his own life for May was easy, after all it was his to give. Antoine Triplett didn’t deserve to suffer for her, especially when he himself wasn’t the one agreeing to the deal. _As if the situation isn’t complicated enough without this … You’re going to hell if you do this you know. A very special kind of hell._

Tripp touched his arm and their eyes met. “Make sure she’s okay,” he said softly. “Don’t worry about me.”

“That’s one promise I can’t make.”

Garrett chuckled. “Always so tenderhearted. You care too much about people.”

“And you don’t care enough.”

“Wrong. I don’t care at all. The Vulcans had it right, emotions are people’s downfall. Wars are fought and kingdoms fall over petty emotions. People suck, it’s a truth you just can’t deny. Form no attachments and leave no survivors, that’s always been my motto.”

“One more thing you and I don’t see eye to eye on.”

“Perhaps we’ll just agree to disagree. Come on Phil. You might as well spend some time with Agent May while you still can.”

* * * 

Skye tried to keep her emotions bottled up but she could feel the loathing and rage bubbling up inside her. _If only I’d had a chance to get some lessons from May on how to control and focus my feelings …_ It surprised her, how much the thought of May dying hurt. They’d never been close, and until very recently she’d felt as though May despised her and would be only too happy to drop her off the plane - without a parachute - but somehow the grumpy, caustic loner had carved a place in her heart and she couldn’t face the thought of living without her.

“How could you?” she spat out suddenly, turning to face him and stopping. “How could you betray us?”

“I didn’t,” Ward said calmly. “My allegiance was always to Garrett, not you.”

“So we were just an assignment? We meant nothing to you?”

His face softened a little. “I wasn’t supposed to like you or care about any of you. I knew that going in. None of the others mattered to me except as a source of information. But there was just something about you … I knew I wasn’t supposed to let myself feel but I did.”

“So you cared for me but you never felt anything for May? You slept with her, for god’s sake.” She couldn’t keep the disgust out of her voice.

“It was entirely tactical. She was the biggest threat to me. I thought getting intimate with her would lower her guard, maybe make her trust me.”

“She doesn’t trust anyone.”

Ward shrugged. “Perhaps not, but at least she didn’t see me as a threat. The element of surprise is a handy thing.”

Skye turned away and started walking again. “I don’t understand how you could choose Garrett over us. You were a part of us. Part of the team. We risked our lives for you and you for us. We cared about you Ward.”

“Garrett’s the only one who’s ever really cared about me,” he said fiercely. “He saved me when everyone else had written me off. No one else cared. They left me in jail to rot.”

“Garrett doesn’t really care about you. He saw you as a tool he could use and made you into his pawn.”

“No! You’re wrong Skye! He does care. He’s my family, the only family I have.”

Now it was her turn to shrug. “Believe what you want. I say the man’s crazy as a loon and if it suits his purposes, he’ll discard you like yesterday’s trash.”

He stopped suddenly, throwing an arm out in front of her. “In here.” He opened the door for her. “I’ve got things to do. I’ll be back for you later.”

“Good,” she said to the door as he shut it behind himself. “This conversation was getting boring anyway.”

* * * 

“Mike. Are you still in there?” Simmons turned wide blue eyes on him. “You are, I know you are. Why are you doing this to us? We tried to help you.”

How he wished he could answer her! But he daren’t - Garrett could see and hear everything he did. One wrong move and his son … he couldn’t even bear to think of it. “I work for Agent Garrett now.” It was the best answer he could give and one that did nothing to explain the conflict and utter despair inside him.

“You don’t have to,” Fitz said. “When we get out of this you can come with us. We can help you.”

If only … there was no help for him. Not any more. He fastened their hands to the bars on the table as he’d been instructed and ignored their continuing pleas, thinking only of his son as they tried very eloquently to convince him to change sides. If only they knew, if only he could tell them: there was going to be no getting out of here. Garrett would kill them as soon as he got what he wanted.

* * * 

She didn’t look well at all. Her expression was impassive as always, but he could see the tension in the lines in her face and her body language screamed pain. _What have they done to you, May-Lin?_ HIs heart wept as he struggled to keep a straight face.

“May. Thank god you’re alive.” Coulson took her hand and held it close. It was cold, so cold.

A look of distress crossed her face. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“I told you he would. You people are predictably altruistic, and add in the fact that he loves you? Zero percent chance he wouldn’t come for you.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Alive. Ish.”

Pain contorted Coulson’s face as he leaned in closer to her. “Don’t you leave me, May-Lin. I’m not letting you go without a fight.”

“Good thing you still can. I’d be right there with you if I could.”

He squeezed her hand. “I should never have left you behind. Never. It’s all my fault you’re here. I’m so, so sorry I did this to you.”

“You didn’t. Ward did. Without whatever it was he injected me with, I’d have been able to take these guys. Don’t blame yourself Phil. You should go, if you can.” She looked up at Garrett to try to read his face.

“Gives you goosebumps, doesn’t it?” Garrett smiled. “Nothing like a strong, confident warrior woman to get the libido pumping. It’s no wonder you’ve got a thing for her.”

 _The thing is called love. I love her._ With a start, Coulson realized it was the first time in a long time he’d been truly honest with himself about his feelings for her. He’d been willing to admit he loved her - as a friend, a confidante, an ally - but he’d repressed the depth of those feelings years ago and had pretended they hadn’t existed. _I love Melinda May. I’m in love with her and I always have been. God, how could I have been so stupid as to push her away all those years ago?_

_May’s eyes widened at his words. “What? What did you say?”_

_His heart pounded furiously. What if she said no? “I’m asking you to marry me. I love you Mel, and I want to be with you always.”_

_“Phil, I … “ She stopped, clearly at a loss for words._

_“I’m sorry I surprised you.” He reached out and stroked her cheek. “I know it’s sudden but I also know I love you and can’t imagine ever spending a single day without you.”_

_“I love you too, but … “_

_“But what?” he interrupted. “There’s nothing in the world stronger than love. Nothing can stop us from being together.”_

_“What about Fury? You know his rules about personal relationships.”_

_“So we don’t tell him.”_

_“Get married secretly?”_

_“Yes! No one need know that we’re spending our nights and off-duty hours together - I mean we already are, so how will this be any different? If Fury doesn’t know, he’ll keep us partnered and we can keep working together.”_

_“Yes,” she said softly._

_“Yes?” His heart pounded even harder._

_“Yes I’ll marry you. But if anyone finds out - “_

_“They won’t. I promise.” He gathered her into his arms and kissed her._

_“I love you, Phil.”_

_“I love you too, May-Lin. Forever.”_

* * * 

Tripp’s heart beat a rapid staccato as he walked beside Garrett down the long hallway. What was going to happen next? Was it all going to go down as he’d imagined it would or would the variables Garrett was wary of come into play and change the game? They walked in silence a good long way until he could take it no more. “What are you going to do to the others?” he demanded.

“Since I have Coulson I don’t need Skye. She can be terminated as soon as Ward is done playing with her. He did his job flawlessly and should be given a reward, don’t you think?”

“Please don’t hurt Simmons.”

“Got a soft spot for her, do you? I don’t know about that. She’s mouthy and was difficult when I took Agent May, but I hear she’s quite brilliant - one of the academy’s brightest ever students - and she might be of help to Flowers in the lab.”

“She won’t help you willingly,” Tripp scoffed.

“No, but we do have our incentive program. That might be a better use for Fitz than just killing him now.”

“You’ve thought of everything.”

Garrett stopped and they faced one another. “I really have.” He smiled. “Phil always underestimates me. Fury always thought Phil was the smarter of us but I disagree. Have you been found out? Any hints they think you might be a plant?”

Tripp shook his head firmly. “Not even a whiff. They trust me completely. Coulson even put me in charge of keeping an eye on Agent May and protecting her.”

“Now that’s irony.” Garrett slapped his shoulder affectionately. “Good man. I hate to do this, but in order to keep your cover I’m going to have to make it look like I was really angry with you. I won’t lie, it’s going to hurt … “

Tripp gulped. “I know.”

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

“You shouldn’t have come.”

Coulson pursed his lips. “I wasn’t about to leave you here. You wouldn’t leave me behind if our places were reversed.”

“Of course not,” May snapped. “But that’s different. You’re more important.”

“Not to me.” Their eyes held for a long moment. “So what are we going to do?” he asked, voice softening. 

“I was kind of hoping you had a plan.”

“Not really. We need to make the most of the time Garrett’s giving us. I’m kind of surprised he left us alone, to be honest.”

“He knows there’s nothing we can do.”

Coulson frowned. “It’s not like you to just give up.”

“I’m not giving up. I’m facing the truth. Save yourself, Phil. It’s more important that you live. you know what Fury would say if he were here.”

_“You sacrificed the mission to save Agent May.”_

_Coulson’s cheeks burned but he stood his ground. “Yes.”_

_Fury frowned at him. “It’s not the first time a mission you’ve headed has gone sideways because of her. Look me in the eye Phil, and tell me you don’t have feelings for her.”_

_“I … I … I can’t sir.”_

_“That’s what I thought.” The older man sighed and shook his head. “I should have known. I felt it right from the beginning but I was stupid. I saw the potential in your partnership as agents and tried not to see the personal feelings developing between you two. I see now I was wrong.” He put his hands on Coulson’s shoulders in an almost fatherly gesture. “A good leader never lets personal feelings get in the way of doing what needs to be done. You need to use your assets, not be afraid to lose them.”_

_“I know sir.”_

_“Stop calling me sir.”_

_“Yes sir.”_

_Fury’s eye twitched. “I need you Phil. I see the kind of leader you’re shaping up to be and where you’re going to end up, but you have to focus if you want to get there. You can’t let anyone or anything get in the way. Do you understand me son?”_

_Coulson’s chest ached and a feeling of dread settled over him. “I understand.”_

_“They say it’s lonely at the top and they’re not wrong. When you do what we do you can’t afford to have distractions. Now I like the way you and May work together but if you can’t do it without personal feelings screwing things up, then I’m going to have to separate you. We can’t afford any more mistakes.”_

“But he isn’t here and I’m not leaving you behind.”

“Phil - “

“Dammit May, don’t argue with me. I came here to save you and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Garrett’s willing to let you go if I stay.”

She sat suddenly, fighting a wave of pain. “No! You can’t let him have you! He’ll tear you apart like a lab animal to learn what saved your life so he can use that for his own purposes.”

“Better that than him hurting you.” He took her hands in his and held them. They were so cold. Icy. “I know you don’t like being dependent on others and under normal circumstances I wouldn’t dream of fighting your battles for you. No one kicks ass better than you. But right now you’re at their mercy and whatever you were injected with is slowly killing you. I want you out of here as soon as we can figure out how to stop it.”

“Raina’s been experimenting with my blood but so far she doesn’t seem to have found anything.”

That was it. A light went on in his head at her words, like a door suddenly opening to a whole new world, and he knew - knew without a shadow of a doubt - how to fix her. He let go of her hands and crossed the room, looking for an unused syringe among the test tubes and beakers. He found one and took it back, hurriedly pulling off the plastic on the way.

“Take my blood.”

“What?”

“Take my blood,” he repeated urgently, thrusting the syringe into her hands. “Draw some of my blood.”

“Why? How? I majored in physics, not biology. I have no idea how to take blood. Why? What are you going to do with it?” May’s brow furrowed.

“Give it to you.” His lips almost twitched into a smile. “I have the alien DNA inside me. It healed me, it healed Skye, brought us both back to life when we were dead and dying. It can do the same for you.”

“Fabulous idea,” Garrett drawled from the doorway. “Maybe Fury was right and you are the smarter of us.” He walked quickly over and pulled Coulson’s arms out in front of him, snapping on cuffs. “Take the syringe, Flowers, and do as the man says.”

She did, in silence, but as she turned towards May, Garrett’s arm shot out to stop her. “It’s not for her, it’s for me. Give it to me. Now.”

“What do you need it for?”

Garrett turned to face him and the look in his eyes made Coulson’s blood freeze. “I’m dying.” He lifted his shirt, noting as Coulson, May and even Raina, flinched at the sight of his transplant. It was red, inflamed and oozed greenish-yellow pus. 

“What … “ May stopped, unable to find words to voice her thoughts. 

“Centipede. Guess who was the first volunteer for the program?”

“Why?” Coulson shook his head. “Why do this to yourself? You had it good - a wife, a career that was on track to really go somewhere … Director Fury was looking at you as potential replacement material. Why experiment on yourself?”

Garrett’s easygoing demeanor vanished in a heartbeat. “It wasn’t enough!” ye yelled. “I could never measure up to you. You had it all, Phil,” he spat. “You were Fury’s pet, ostensibly the best Shield agent ever, and he would have picked you to succeed him. I needed to win, to be better and stronger and smarter.”

“Stronger maybe,” a familiar bass voice drawled, “but smarter? Not so much. Hands in the air, Garrett.”

Never in his life had Coulson been so happy to see Nick Fury. Or so surprised. “Sir, you’re alive.”

“You know what Mark Twain said.”

“It’s good to see you sir,” May said, managing a faint smile.

“You too, Agent May. You - “ he nodded at Raina, “give the contents of that syringe to Agent May. Now.”

“No!”

He turned back towards Garrett. “You be quiet or I’ll shoot you where you stand.”

“You wouldn’t.” Garrett almost smiled.

“I would.” Fury cocked the gun. 

“Killing an innocent, unarmed man isn’t your style.”

“You’re hardly innocent, agent of Hydra, pretending to be one of us.” He tweaked his trigger finger.

“You’re not a killer, Nick.”

“Every one of us in this room is a killer, given the right circumstances.”

Garrett began to sweat. “I’m worth more to you alive.”

Fury pulled the trigger and pieces of Garrett flew everywhere. Raina screamed. May flinched as Coulson threw himself on the bed with her, trying to shield her from the mess.

“Perhaps. But you’re less annoying dead.” Fury blew on the gun’s muzzle and nodded appreciatively. “I always wanted to get my hands on this and try it out. It’s pretty kickass, don’t you think?”

“Are you okay?” Coulson moved off the bed, searching May’s eyes intently.

“I think your jacket took the brunt of it.”

“Raina, the syringe. Give it to May.” As she hesitated, he added, “please. Nick, the others - “ Coulson’s eyes held a desperate plea. 

“You two will be okay?” Fury asked, meeting both of their eyes in turn. He took the key for the cuffs from Raina and unlocked Coulson.

May took Coulson’s hand and linked their fingers. “We’ll be fine. Go.”

He gave a brusque nod, nearly dropping his beret, before flying out the door.

“How long will it take before I start to heal?”

“No idea, but I’m not willing to wait. I’m getting you out of here now.” He slid his arms under her and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her.

“You don’t have to carry me, you know. I can try to walk.”

“Don’t you know better than to argue with me, May-Lin?”

A slow smile spread across her face and her eyes twinkled just a little. “Of course I do. But I like arguing with you.”

He returned the smile and kissed her forehead tenderly. “I know. Save it for later, okay? I’m sure we’ll find plenty to argue about once we’re out of here.”

* * *

“Director Fury!” Simmons squealed as he strode through the door. “Thank god!”

“Simmons, Fitz, are you okay?”

“Fine,” Fitz answered. “You wouldn’t happen to have the keys to these handcuffs on you, would you?” He rattled the metal.

“No, but I think I have an idea where I might find them.”

“Deathlok,” Simmons said promptly. “He’s the one who put us here.”

“Well I guess I need to find him then.”

“There’s no need for that.”

Fury spun around, pointing his big-ass gun at the half-metal man in the doorway. “Don’t even think it, Mike.”

“I can’t let you take the prisoners. Garrett would - “

“Garrett’s dead,” Fury interrupted. “Pieces of him are decorating the lab.” He smiled and patted the gun.

“Are Coulson and May free then?” Fitz asked hopefully.

He nodded. “The keys please, Mike.” Deathlok hesitated. “Your master’s dead now. He can’t hurt you. We’ll take you with us and help you get your life back.”

There was a long pause. “He still has my son,” Mike Peterson whispered. “I can’t risk his life.”

“We’ll find him too,” Fury promised.

“I can’t risk helping you or coming with you until we free him. Garrett has people everywhere.”

“Hence the name Hydra,” Fury murmured. 

Mike dropped the keys on the floor and backed away. “This is all I can do.” Then he disappeared.

“Good enough for now.” Fury unlocked the cuffs and the two scientists breathed a unified sigh of relief as they rubbed their sore wrists.

“Have you rescued Skye?” Simmons asked. “Ward took her somewhere.”

“Not yet.”

“Well get moving then!”

He wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or amused. “Don’t worry,” he said, more to himself than to them. “I plan on getting her back. And I have a few choice words for Ward too.”

“So do I,” Fitz added, cheeks reddening with anger.

“I outrank you so I get to go first.”

“Yes sir.”

They didn’t have far to search. As if he knew he was being sought, Ward suddenly appeared in the corridor ahead of them. “Director Fury,” he said slowly. 

“ _Agent_ Ward. Take us to Skye.”

“No.” 

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean no.”

“We’re taking her with us. You too.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged but if you want me to kill you there are a few things I need to say to you first.”

“Garrett will never - “

“Garrett will never do anything again. Period.”

Ward’s eyes widened and for the first time registered something other than cold anger. “You killed him?”

“I did. Now take us to Skye unless you want to suffer the same fate.”

“No, I don’t believe it. You couldn’t have.”

“I could have and I did. You want proof? We’ll go through the lab on the way out and you can say goodbye to what’s left of him.”

“You, you … “ Ward’s face suddenly contorted and he threw himself at Fury.

At that close range all he could do was use the gun as a club, which was better anyway he figured. Ward might end up dead eventually but he wanted a chance to interrogate him thoroughly first. 

Simmon’s searched Ward’s pockets as he lay there unconscious and found a key. It didn’t take them long to find the door it fit. 

A stream of familiar chatter hit their ears as the key twisted in the lock and the door swung open. " - it’s about time. You leave me in here alone any longer and I’m going to end up a bitter loner like May - “ She saw them and jumped to her feet. “Oh my god! It’s a rescue! Please tell me it’s a rescue. I so need to get out of here.”

Fury smiled. “It’s good to see you too, Agent Skye.”

“Agent … “ Skye’s face fell. “How can I be an agent of Shield when there is no Shield anymore?”

“Now, now. She’s taken a hard hit but she ain’t dead yet. In fact I’m counting on all of you to help put the pieces back together. Shield may be crippled at the moment but she will be strong again.”

“Can we go home now?” Simmons asked timidly. 

“We can go, but not home. They’re after us now and we need to go underground for a while to regroup. I have just the place.”

“What about Tripp?” Fitz asked, worry darkening his face. “We can’t leave him here. Garrett took him away from the rest of us and I don’t know where he is.”

“You go join Phil and May outside. I’ll take care of Tripp.” He did just that, grabbing Ward’s ankles and dragging the traitor behind him as he searched deeper into the mountain. Tripp, seated with his back to the door in a well-furnished room, didn’t hear him coming.

“Hands in the air, soldier.” 

Tripp turned around, surprise widening his eyes. “Director Fury. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Hands where I can see them.” When he complied, albeit slowly, Fury added, “let’s go.”

“Where’s Garrett?”

“Nowhere we have to worry about.”

“You killed him?”

“Guilty as charged.”

Tripp relaxed and sighed. “Thank god.” He nodded at Fury’s gun. “You can put that thing away now.”

“I’d rather not, thanks.” Fury’s eyes narrowed.

“Is Deathlok still out there yet?”

“He’s taken care of. They all are … except you.”

Tripp’s forehead creased. “What do you mean? I’m one of the good guys.”

“You may have fooled Coulson but I’m not that gullible. Keep those hands in the air and let’s get out of here.”

“Hey, what are you doing?” Skye demanded when they emerged from the mountain, Tripp’s hands still held up.

Fury ignored her question. “Phil, do you have handcuffs or a zip tie handy?”

“Of course, but I don’t understand. Tripp’s with us now.”

“He was with Garrett first. Then he apparently defected. Are you _sure_ he’s with you? I’m not, and I’m not willing to take chances until he proves himself.”

“Look at him!” Simmons cried. “Garrett obviously beat the stuffing out of him for daring to change sides. How can you doubt that?”

Tripp gave her a small smile.

“Okay, I’ll buy that. But why then did I find him sitting comfortably in Garrett’s personal rooms? No guards, no restraints. You think Garrett would have beat him and then just let him walk around the place freely? Not a chance.”

Coulson’s eyes narrowed and he reached in the back of the van for his restraints. “I trusted you,” he said quietly as he snapped them on Tripp’s wrists. 

Tripp turned his head and met Coulson’s angry eyes. “You should have known better. Trust no one.”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry all that it's been so long since I was able to update this story. Life got a little crazy there the last couple of weeks of summer holidays, and it's been hard getting back into routine. I'm there now and back into the story so hopefully the next update will come much sooner. Thanks for hanging in there with me!


	10. Chapter 10

May blinked several times, clearing the fog out of her head. “Where are we?”

“Oregon.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “I’ve been asleep a while.”

Fury, sitting beside her, smiled. “About six hours. I’d say you needed it. How are you feeling?”

Coulson said nothing but she could see his eyes on her in the rearview mirror. “Better.” She stretched and sat up a little straighter. “Definitely better.”

Skye turned around from her place beside Coulson and smiled. “Good.”

As she back turned around and began talking, May leaned in close to Fury. “Where are we going?” she asked softly. 

“A secret base.”

“Where is it?”

Fury’s left eyebrow rose comically. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret, would it?”

She rolled her eyes. “Does Coulson know where it is?”

“Nope.”

“Are you going to tell him or make him drive blindfolded? Because I might just prefer to get out and walk.”

Both Coulson and Fury burst out laughing. “She hasn’t changed at all, has she?” Fury asked his friend.

Coulson shook his head. “Not in the slightest.”

May shrugged. “Why mess with perfection?”

Skye smirked. “She’s definitely feeling better.”

“Are there medical facilities where we’re going?” They were the first words Simmons had uttered since entering the vehicle. “I’d like to run some tests on Agent May during her recovery.”

“Absolutely. Everything you need will be there.” Fury nodded as he spoke. “Phil, let’s take a break at the next stop. Stretch our legs. I’ll drive the rest of the way.”

“Sure thing.”

Though they’d rearranged themselves somewhat after stretching, Coulson found himself with Skye still beside him, now in the very back seats of the van. He’d hoped to sit with May, talk to her and see how she was doing, but Simmons had forestalled him and the two sat together in front of him; she asking questions, May answering in as few words as possible. He counselled himself to be patient as he knew they’d have time to talk later, and as Simmons was her medical advisor it was more important for her to get a read on how the recovery was going first.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“That’ll buy about two words, Skye. Thoughts don’t come cheap anymore.”

She smiled and Coulson, now turning to face her, smiled back. 

“So, uh … now that we have some time to kill, you want to tell me about you and May and the whole being married thing?”

“Do I _want_ to?”

“Would you?”

He made a face. “You know what curiosity did to the cat.”

“I’m sure I’ve got a few lives left yet. Please?”

He took a long breath and sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“Well, I can guess how it all got started - boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, realize they can’t tell anyone and have a secret relationship. Am I close?”

“More or less. It was more like, boy meets girl, boy trains girl to be a spy and an assassin, they fall in love and have a secret relationship.”

“You _trained_ May? Aren’t you guys like, the same age?”

He smirked. “Pretty close. I’m a few years older than she is.”

“How did you get to be her SO then? You must not have been an agent for very long before that.”

“No I wasn’t. She was one of my first assignments, actually. Director Fury was my SO. He wanted May trained the same way I was but instead of doing it himself, he gave me the job to see how I could handle managing people.”

Skye smiled. “I guess you did okay.”

“I guess I did, as she turned out pretty badass, but she sure was a handful.” Coulson smiled at the memories. “I think that’s why I fell for her. She was a real spitfire and stubborn to boot, and she never quit at anything I gave her to do and always gave back as good as she got.”

Skye’s dark eyes shone with understanding. “She was your equal. A match for you. And you needed the challenge.”

“Apparently I did, though you can bet I had more than a few unkind thoughts for Fury for sticking me with her, especially in the beginning.”

“So what happened? If you two were that good together, why’d it fall apart?”

“It’s complicated, Skye. There were a lot of forces at play.”

_“You can’t do that.”_

_He looked at the set of her shoulders, the determination in her dark eyes, and steeled himself for the fight to come. “Yes I can. I’m the leader of the team, I get to decide who goes on the missions. You’re staying here with me.”_

_“You need me out there. Groves and Hope are novices and neither of them has the specialist training I have. If you don’t send me with them the mission will fail.”_

_“I have faith they’ll figure out how to handle it.”_

_May crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re afraid I’ll get hurt, aren’t you? Afraid you won’t be able to help if we run into trouble. I trained for this, Phil. You trained me yourself! You know better than anyone what I’m capable of.”_

_“I know you’ll put your life on the line to save the mission and your team.”_

_“As we all would. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Or have you forgotten what we stand for?”_

_His eyes blazed. “I haven’t forgotten, Mel,” he said coldly. “I know the kind of sacrifices we have to make for this job.”_

_“So … “ She shrugged her shoulders._

_“So I’m not willing to sacrifice your life.”_

_There, it was out. A part of him felt better for having admitted it, but the part that watched her take in his words, his intentions, and react to them, hurt more than ever._

_“You don’t trust me.” Her face had turned cold, emotionless._

_“Of course I do. But I love you and I can’t face losing you, May-Lin.”_

_“Well you’re going to have to because I’m not letting them go in alone. Orders be damned. I won’t let you send them to certain death just to save me. I couldn’t live with that on my conscience. If you don’t trust us to complete the mission without casualties, ask Fury for backup.” She turned and stalked away, never looking back._

“Ooh, that hurts.” Skye winced. “So what happened? Was that it? The end?”

“That was the beginning of the end. I did call for backup and they did all come out of it successfully but something fundamental changed between us that day. It was never the same after that. A couple of weeks, maybe a month later, she was reassigned to another team. I assumed she’d told Fury what had happened - cause for yet another argument between us, and then one day she left me a note saying she’d asked for an annulment of our wedding. That it wasn’t working out and she wanted us to go our separate ways.”

“Oh my god.”

He stared out the window, unblinking, seeing only the past. “I hurt her that day. Caused a permanent wound that I could never make up for. If I could do it again, knowing what I know now … “

“So what did you do? Did you fight for her? Try to convince her to give you another chance?”

“No. I was numb. I couldn’t believe she’d do that to me. I couldn’t think, couldn’t feel. I never talked to her about it, I just signed the papers and let it happen.”

Skye frowned. “Isn’t that the coward’s way out?”

A shadow of anger crossed his heart. What did she know of relationships? Of love? She was barely more than a child and hadn’t had any of significance yet. She was lucky Ward had turned out to be the enemy before the two of them got any closer and had to deal with the kind of burdens he and May had had that had crushed them under its weight. 

He sighed. “Probably. Like I said, if I could do it over …”

“You two are still friends though, even after a breakup like that. That’s amazing.”

“It was a lot of hard work, that’s what it was. For a time we avoided each other, until the worst of the pain passed, then we were assigned to work together again and we finally talked about what happened. Put it behind us and decided that our friendship and working relationship was worth salvaging, so we worked hard to nurture it.”

“I still think it’s amazing that you managed to do that. I mean, here you still are, caring about one another enough to risk your lives for each other, even after all you’ve been through.” She smiled.

“Here we still are, barely alive and on the run and needing to figure out how to put the pieces back together.”

“The pieces of your relationship?” she said hopefully.

“The pieces of everything, Skye. Life as we knew it isn’t anymore. It’s all going to be different now.”

“When Fury rescued me he told me Shield wasn’t quite dead and that we were going to figure a way to put it all back together. Do you believe that’s possible?”

Coulson nodded. “Absolutely. I trust Nick Fury. He always has a plan.”

“Is that better than a way?” At Coulson’s confused look she added, “never mind. Obscure movie reference.”

_____

 

Fitz wandered about the lab aimlessly, touching this and that but not really doing anything. Simmons was still busy with May and he knew he couldn’t settle until he’d talked to her. 

The place was fantastic, he had to admit; secret base or no, it put the flying lab they’d had on the plane to shame. Agent Koenig - a clone of the other Agent Koenig perhaps? Did they even have that biotech yet? - was creepy though. Seeing the man Ward had killed walking around and greeting them jovially had nonplussed the lot of them, save Director Fury.

Of course _he_ knew all the secrets. They were of his making. Fitz found Fury to be a little creepy up close and personal too. The man knew too much, as though he could see right through you.

“Well, you get some rest now and I’ll come check on you later.”

“I swear, if anyone else tells me I need to rest, I’m going to pull out their larynx, break it in half and feed it to them.”

Fitz grinned. May’s growled threat sounded like she was already almost back to normal. 

“Simmons,” he called. She didn’t answer, busying herself with work. “Simmons.” When she still failed to respond, he took her arm. “Gemma.”

“What Fitz? I’m busy.”

“Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay.” Her shaking hands and the edge of hysteria in her voice belied her confident words. 

“No you’re not.” He pulled her into a smaller side room, giving them a little more privacy. 

“What? Let me go.”

“Talk to me, Gemma. It’s okay to be upset and scared by what happened. We all are.”

“We all are? Are you sure about that? You don’t see Agent Coulson crying do you?” She grew more agitated as she spoke. “No, he can handle tough situations and betrayal and people being hurt like it’s no big deal.”

“I’m sure he’s done his share of cursing Ward and shed a few tears over potentially losing May - “

“More than a few,” Coulson interrupted, having come to see May and overheard the conversation. He met Simmons troubled eyes. “On both counts. It’s normal to be angry and hurt, to feel frustrated over everything that’s happened. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t. You have no idea how angry I am at Ward and Garrett for lying to us and betraying us. I’ve just learned to keep it inside and not let it show.” He touched her shoulder gently and smiled sadly. “Believe me, you’re better off screaming and crying and letting it all go than letting it churn you up inside.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I still can’t believe Ward was a traitor. _Hydra_. And Tripp too. He pretended to be one of us … I believed in him … “ She fell into Fitz’s chest and sobbed.

Fitz closed his arms around her and laid his cheek on top of her head. “It’s okay, Gemma. I’m here.”

Coulson nodded at them and stepped back. “I’ll just leave you two,” he said to no one in particular, as he walked away. “Hey there.” He smiled as he stopped by May’s bedside, heart lightening at the renewed colour in her face. 

“Don’t say it,” May cautioned, holding up a finger.

“What? I was going to say you were looking much better.”

“Oh.” She dropped her arm back down. 

Coulson hitched a hip so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “What did you think I was going to say?”

“Something about getting rest.” She eyed him carefully.

He smirked. “You think I don’t know better than that?”

She relaxed and half smiled. “It’s true what they say you know, about not knowing how bad you feel until you start to feel better.”

Darkness clouded his face. “Ward very nearly killed you, May. I’ll never forgive him for that and I plan on making sure he pays for his mistake for as long as he lives.”

“Then you’d better not let me near him again because his life will be very short.”

“I’ll make sure to keep you away from him until I’m done with him. Then he’s all yours.” He looked down at the bed, seeing their two hands close together and moving so they were touching, fingers entwining. “May-Lin … “ He raised his eyes and met hers, swallowing hard.

“I know,” she said softly, almost tenderly. “Me too.”

Silence lengthened between them, both thinking thoughts and feeling feelings they couldn’t quite put into words. Eventually Coulson stirred and cleared his throat. “Well, I’d better go and - “

“Don’t say it,” she interrupted.

“ - talk to Nick,” he finished, changing tacks mid-sentence. ‘I’ve got a few things I need to say to him, and some questions I want answered.”

“I want to come with you.”

“May, you’re under orders to stay in bed until Simmons clears you to be up. She’s the doctor and I defer to her judgement. I promise I’ll come back and tell you everything.”

“Everything. You won’t leave anything out.” Her eyes pleaded with him and she squeezed his hand. “I need answers too.”

He’d almost forgotten their hands were still joined. He squeezed back. “I promise. No more secrets between us, okay?”

“Okay.”

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

“ …. stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That’s what it was. You shouldn’t have done what you did to me without my permission.”

“He couldn’t exactly ask, Phil. You were dead.” May looked up at the two of them from where she sat, resting at Simmons’ orders but thankfully still able to attend the meeting Fury had requested her to be at. 

To one who didn’t know the two of them as well as she, the conversation might seem awfully confusing. Their words and body language didn’t quite match; Coulson was angry but not really; Fury was sorry, but not really. The conversation, long time in the coming, had obviously been played out in their heads and the words spoken aloud were a mere formality. Coulson needed to vent, though he’d long gotten over the anger over what had been done to him, and Fury needed to apologize though clearly he wasn’t really sorry for what he’d done.

“That serum was meant only to save wounded and dying avengers.”

“Exactly.” Fury glanced at May then looked back into Coulson’s eyes.

“I’m not - “ All the bravado left him then and he looked like a lost child.

“Yes you are, Phil. You’re the one we need most of all and I couldn’t just let you die. Shield was formed with one only principle, one directive - “

“Protection,” May put in.

Fury pointed at her. “Exactly. Someone has to be here on the ground keeping everything running smoothly and protecting humanity from all of its numerous enemies, including itself. I hadn’t planned on handing over the reins to you just yet but Hydra’s reveal and my death moved my timetable up somewhat.” He reached into a pocket and pulled out a cube, holding it out towards Coulson.

“Me? You want me to take over?” Clearly Coulson was shocked.

“Who better? In its heydey Shield was a whole lot of moving parts, all with different functions. People like you, and you - “ he added, nodding at May “ were the heart of it. What kept it alive and well. Now I need you to be the head. Shield needs to be rebuilt from the ground up.”

“How do I do that?”

“You’ll figure it out.” Fury dropped the cube into Coulson’s hand. “This will give you what you need to get started and will help along the way.”

May half-smiled as Coulson stared at the little box in wonder, looking like a boy enthralled with a fanciful Christmas gift. 

“You’ll still have his back?” Fury, turning, asked her.

“Always.”

“You do know you’re at risk now too, and Skye as well since you’ve all had the serum.”

“We’ll keep an eye on one another,” May assured him.

“That’s what we do.” Coulson met her eyes and smiled.

“Good. Now I’m going to go back to being dead so you won’t hear from me for a while. Oh, there’s just one other thing - “ He walked to the door and opened it. Tripp entered the room. “You left someone behind.”

“Tripp? He’s Hydra.”

“He’s ours Phil.” Coulson threw him a cold look. “Trust me. I gave him a deep cover assignment two years ago to watch and report on Garrett. The man had a lot of potential once but the last few times I saw him I felt there was something off, so I planted Tripp inside to find out what was going on.”

“I wish I’d figured out he was Hydra sooner,” Tripp admitted. “I failed in my mission.”

Fury waved it off. “Even if you’d known there wasn’t enough time to mount a reasonable defence. They’d spent decades preparing their plan of attack and we would never have been ready in time, even if we could have found all the moles within our own organization. Needle in the proverbial haystack.”

Coulson looked back and forth between them. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“That’s got to be a first.” May smirked at Fury’s jibe. “There are very few people I trust nowadays, Phil, and all of them are in this room. I’m handing Shield over to you now and I know the three of you will take good care of it and build it back into something formidable. Good luck.”

“Can we contact you if we need you?”

Fury shook his head at May’s request. “Nope, I’m off the grid. But I’ll know if you need me and I’ll be here. Count on it.”

“Well.” May took a deep breath as Fury shut the door behind himself. The room seemed strangely empty without him.

Coulson stood up straighter and faced May. “Let’s assemble the team. The first thing we need to do is have a meeting. We’ve got a few things to bring them up to speed on.”

~ ~ ~ 

“I knew it.” Simmons fairly bubbled with joy. “I knew you weren’t one of the bad guys.” She hooked her arm through Tripp’s as they walked away from the briefing room, and then hooked the other through Fitz’s arm so as not to leave him behind. 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you. I wanted to. I hated keeping secrets from you folks. Fury was right about you, you’re all such good people.”

“Skye.” May, hanging back, touched the younger woman’s arm. “Got a minute?”

“Sure.”

“Let’s head to your room. I owe you a talk.”

May closed the door behind herself and stood awkwardly by it as Skye threw herself down on the bed. She wished there was a chair but the rooms were spartanly finished with only the bare necessities.

Skye slid up to make room. “Sit down. Join me.”

“Thanks.” May sat on the edge of the bed stiffly.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

May took a deep breath. “I heard you and Coulson talking on the way here. About me and him.”

Skye’s eyebrow rose. “Not bad. I thought you were talking to Simmons, not listening to us.”

“She was talking. I was listening. To both conversations.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I just … I … please don’t judge what I did without knowing the other side of the story.”

“There’s another side?”

“My side. What Coulson told you about us was correct, from his point of view. It was missing parts.”

“Why would he not tell me everything?”

“Because he doesn’t know. He never did. There are things I never told him.”

Skye’s face darkened. “So you lied to him. Again.”

“I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell him everything. There’s a difference.”

“Lying by omission is still lying.”

“Will you stop judging me and listen? Sometimes it’s better not to say anything when you know what you have to say will hurt the other person. Just listen and when you know the whole story you can judge and decide if you think what I did was right or wrong. Deal?”

“Deal.”

May stared at the wall, wondering where to begin. “It all happened pretty much the way Coulson said in the beginning. That spark that brings two people together was there right from the start. We fought it for a long time but eventually gave in to it. We knew Fury wouldn’t approve of us being partners if we were together romantically as well so we kept it a secret.”

“Was that easy to do?”

“It wasn’t hard. We were young and eager to prove ourselves so we spent most of our time working anyway. We were a good team, the two of us. We worked really well together, complemented each other’s skills.”

“You still do.”

“Yes we do. There’s a lot more baggage between us now that makes it tougher, but back then we were almost like one mind, planning and executing missions in perfect sync. The problem started when Coulson was promoted to head of the team and I worked for him, not with him.”

“Did it make you angry that he was chosen to lead and you weren’t?”

May gave a little smile. “Not at all. He deserved it and wanted it and I was happy for him. The problem came as he told you, when he became afraid to send me into dangerous situations when he had to stay back and run the mission. It pissed me off that he didn’t trust me, but worse, several missions failed because of that personnel screw up. Fury was disappointed in him. I suspect he saw the potential in Coulson to be a great leader - we all know it to be true now - and was upset that he let personal feelings get in the way of the job.

This in turn made Phil disappointed in himself. He was angry and frustrated and he took it out on me because I was the safe place to vent. Not physically,” she added at Skye’s sudden curious look. “He would never hurt me or anyone else, he just became really … mean in the way he talked to me. Cutting. Impersonal. It hurt, but I understood where it was coming from. I could see that being pulled between me and his work was tearing him apart inside.”

“You could have talked to him about it. Tried to get him to talk about his feelings and work it out.”

“You think I didn’t try?” May’s voice was soft now. Wistful. “I tried and tried but he didn’t want to see what was happening. Didn’t want to admit he might be wrong.”

The room fell silent. “Phil Coulson is a driven man. He’s always been ambitious and he knew even then what he wanted to achieve within Shield’s ranks. He was determined to succeed. I could see clearly what he couldn’t - that he couldn’t have both his career and me.”

“But he loved you.” Skye looked confused, almost angry. “How could you leave him when you knew he loved you?”

“That was the reason I didn’t make him choose, Skye. I knew he would choose me because he loved me and he wouldn’t be willing to hurt me by ending it. And if he made that choice he’d have ended up regretting it for the rest of his life.”

“Being with you wouldn’t have made him happy?”

“Other people aren’t what make us truly happy, Skye. We have to find that sense of achievement and self-fulfillment within ourselves by reaching our goals and becoming the people we’re meant to be. You don’t _take_ happiness from other people, you _share_ your happiness with them. Throwing all of his goals away for me would have been foolish, but Phil would have done it anyway.” May swallowed. “So I didn’t let him. I left, I ended our relationship and tried to get as far away from him as possible.”

“You knew you were hurting him.”

“Of course. I didn’t want him to try to work it out and get us back together. I knew once he got over the initial shock of what I’d done that he’d throw himself into work to forget, and that would set him back on the path he needed to be on.”

Skye’s forehead creased. “Didn’t it hurt you too, walking away when you loved him?”

May closed her eyes. “It nearly killed me to walk away. I was a wreck for a long, long time.” She opened her eyes and met Skye’s. “I know you like to think of me as an emotionless statue - Vulcan-like - but I was once as impulsive and emotional as you. No, it’s true. It took me a long time to get past the pain of letting Coulson go, but after enough time had passed that I felt like I might be able to pick up the pieces, I began studying to learn how to control and focus my emotions. To learn not to let them control me.”

“That’s not as easy as it sounds, I imagine.”

“No. Not at all.”

“So how come you never told Coulson why you left him?” Skye shrugged. “Didn’t you think he deserved to know the truth?”

“He took it at face value that our fights over work were what ended it, that I stopped loving him, and I never enlightened him. We didn’t talk about the past much, once we were thrown together for work again, we just focused on how to move forward and remain friends. Whatever else has happened over the years, we’ve had a good solid friendship and in a way that’s proven to be better than what we had before. It’s gotten us through some really tough times. Trust, loyalty, respect, affection. That’s hard to find in the people you work with and we had it. Have always had it. It’s something I treasure and I know he does too.”

“Which is why it hurt him so much when he thought you’d betrayed him,” Skye said slowly. “He tried to hide it but he was a wreck.”

“He’s good at hiding emotions, except from people who know him very well.”

Skye smiled. “Like you.”

May nodded once. “Like me. I think you’re beginning to get there too.” She stood and took a deep breath. “Anyway, that’s it. I just thought if you were going to know the story, you should know the whole story.”

“Thanks.” Skye nodded. “Really, thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Just keep what I said in confidence, please?”

She nodded. “Of course.” As May turned to leave she added, “Just one more question, do you still love him?”

May’s head whipped around. The guarded expression was back on her face. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering. It seems like you two are pretty close still.”

“Yes I love him. We’ve been close friends for many years. It’s possible to love someone without being in love with them you know.”

“I know.” Skye smiled as May shut the door behind herself on the way out. “But in this case I think you’re not being entirely honest with me or yourself,” she added quietly to the empty room. “And I’ll bet if I asked Coulson the same question I’d get the same answer and it would be just as untrue.”

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Just a quick note to let you know I'm skipping a little bit of time in the story from the last chapter to this one. I'd like to get a little bit more caught up with where the series is actually at, so as such, spoilers for anything and everything that's aired - both season 1 and season 2 - apply. I usually watch the show the day it airs or the day after so I'm always pretty caught up, and often try to work in bits of the actual show into my stories, even if I use them in slightly different ways. This chapter is set between episodes 1 and 2 of season 2.
> 
> Hope you continue to enjoy it!

_One month later …_

“Hurry it up Hunter. This isn’t a vacation resort.” May rolled her eyes as he threw a quick glance her way.

“Or what? The hounds of hell will be after me?”

She had to admit his accent was a little titillating, but his arrogant attitude - particularly towards her - and his lazy ways weren’t earning him any points as far as she was concerned.

It had taken a full couple of weeks to settle into the new place and to get a routine started, but it felt like they were beginning to get into a rhythm now. If it weren’t for the newbies, she might have almost said it felt like home. But then there was Hunter, being a pain in her ass as always …

“No, _I_ will be and you’ll only wish it was the hounds of hell,” she fired back coldly.

Hunter puffed as he ran past her again, beginning another circuit of the track. “Well maybe if you’d come out here and show us how it’s done … “

Skye, running on the opposite side of the track, met May’s scowl and smirked.

“You _want_ me to come out there and kick your ass?”

He smiled. “Bet you couldn’t catch me.”

“Who says I want to?” 

“Hunter giving you trouble?” 

She turned her head to find Coulson had come up quietly beside her. “Same drill, different day,” she smirked. “I’m actually going to have to kick his ass one day to prove I can. Maybe it’ll shut him up.”

“I want a front row seat to that.”

“Noted.” She turned her attention back to the track. “Good job Skye. One more lap.”

“Thank god,” Skye panted.

“God has nothing to do with it. Hunter, five more laps.”

“Five? Give me a break. I’m not that far behind.”

“You think I haven’t been paying attention? Five more tough guy.”

Coulson stole a quick glance at her as Hunter shook his head and rounded the corner into the next lap. A sharp pang of jealousy speared through him as he recognized the game they were playing. He wasn’t sure of her intentions, as May was habitually dry and sarcastic with everyone in turn, but it was clear as neon that Hunter was flirting with her. He tamped it down; he had no right to get defensive given his relationship with her was mainly professional and ought to stay that way.

“You think he knows you put in five miles and an hour of tai chi before he even gets out of bed every day?”

“I doubt it,” May said dryly. “He strikes me as the type who doesn’t see much past himself.”

Coulson laid a hand on her arm gently. “Do you have a few minutes? I need to talk to you about a few things.”

“A few. Hmm. Once lazy ass here is done his laps I can send them off to the showers and then I’m all yours.”

The turn of phrase warmed him. _If only …_ “Good. Come to the office.”

“Will do.”

She watched as Skye slowed to a halt and panted, bending in half. “Keep moving, Skye. Cool the muscles down properly or you’ll hurt more later.”

“I know, I know, but I just want to lay down for a little while. Pretty please?”

“Soon. Two laps at a walk, then you can take off to the showers. You’ll feel better after that. Trust me. ”

“You do this every day?”

“Every day.”

“You’re a masochist.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “I’ve been called worse.”

“I’ll just bet you have,” Hunter put in as he jogged by.

May watched in silence as Skye left the track and Hunter completed his laps. She’d already noticed he’d targeted her and was trying to flirt his way into her bed. Short of being blunt and telling him she wasn’t interested, she didn’t quite know how to make him stop. Even being blunt might not work. He was clearly stubborn and fancied himself something of a ladies man, if the stories he told were any indication. Pushing him away wasn’t necessarily the best option either; he might turn to Skye and while the younger woman was developing some decent sarcasm and a bit of a thicker skin, she was still raw from Ward’s betrayal. She might be an easy mark for someone like him if he laid on the charm.

As she headed to Coulson’s office, she made a mental note to deal with him. Soon.

“You wanted to see me?”

 _As often as possible._ Coulson nodded. “Shut the door.”

“It’s the good stuff then.” May hitched a hip onto his desk and studied his face. He looked tired and worn, as well he might considering the heavy load he was labouring under.

“Three things,” he began, launching straight in.

May counted off with her fingers. “One.”

“One, I’m sending Simmons on an undercover mission.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Where and why?”

“Into Hydra, I hope.”

“That’s ambitious. Maybe even a little reckless.”

He looked up. “I know, but I want someone inside to find out what the hell they’re planning and she’s the perfect candidate.”

“If by perfect you mean someone who has no undercover experience and minimal self-defense training,” she retorted.

“Her leaving Shield and wanting to join them - for the sake of science - will be believable. I know she’s still pretty green but I have faith that after nearly a year with us she can handle herself. In a perfect world I’d send you but you’re too well-known. No one would believe you’d defect.”

“You did.”

“Yeah, well I’m stupid.”

She half-smiled. “I do believe that’s a compliment. To me.”

“It was meant to be.” His eyes smiled back then grew solemn. “This mission is classified Level Eight. Only you and I know. Understood?”

“Understood. Two?”

Coulson almost smiled. This was why he loved working with her. May was efficient, focused, and never needed undue explanation. She understood without needing to be told.

“I want you to take over Skye’s training.”

“Excuse me?”

“I want you to be her SO.”

“Um, I don’t do that, Phil.”

“You do now.”

She slid off the desk and began to pace the room, a sure sign she was uncomfortable with the conversation. “Are you sure? You know I don’t work well with others.”

Coulson stood as well and came around the front of his desk, stopping her. “I’m well aware of your aversion to people. But I also know you _can_ work well with others if you try. You and I, case in point.”

“Well if you’re going to use that argument - “

“I’m going to use anything I can get to get you to do this.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “Skye needs a mentor, especially now with everything that’s happened.” His voice softened. “You’re the best agent I’ve ever worked with and that’s saying something because I’ve been around. She needs someone like you to teach her, to help her learn to focus and to tap into the potential I see in her. I believe she could be as good as you one day, May. We need that. Need good people to move forward with. She’s already showing signs that she’s beginning to look up to and admire you. She needs you as her role model.”

She huffed. “Me? A role mode? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I’m not. I really want you to do this. I think it could be good for both of you.”

Their eyes tangled as May took several breaths. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

“Good.”

“Number three?”

Coulson turned and walked a few steps away, staring down at the floor. “It’s beginning.”

“What is?”

He turned to face her. “The side effects of the GH-325.”

May walked over to him, lifting a hand but stopping short of touching him. “Tell me.”

“I’ll do better. I’ll show you.”

May’s eyes widened and she had to hold back a gasp as he revealed the etchings hidden behind one wall of his office. “That’s incredible. You did this?”

Coulson nodded.

She faced him. “What does it mean?”

“I wish I knew.”

“Is it alien?”

“I would guess so as this is clearly not one of the languages I studied in school.”

“How … when … why … “ May couldn’t find the words to vocalize the wild jumble of thoughts running through her head.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “I’ve been dreaming, strange things I don’t quite remember when I wake up, but these symbols are running through my mind - a little like when you get a song stuck in your head and you can’t get it out.”

“So you come and carve them here to get them out. Are there more of them?”

He nodded again. “Three so far.”

“We should document them. Maybe we can figure out what they mean. Skye could - “

“No,” he interrupted sharply. “I don’t want her to know. None of them can know. Only you. I only trust you.”

“Phil, you know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, but this isn’t my area of expertise. I can’t help you figure it out.”

“That’s not what I need from you. Your job is to make sure I don’t go cuckoo like Garrett and go off the deep end. You have to have a plan in case I do.”

She sighed. “Well, this is a little unusual, yes, but I see nothing dangerous in it. Make sure to tell me if it happens again or if anything else out of the ordinary does.”

“You’ll make a plan?”

“Can we not talk about it right now?”

“We have to talk about it. A bullet in the head, those are Fury’s orders, right?”

“Yes but - “

“No buts, May. You have to do it if it comes to that.”

“I can’t. I can’t shoot you in the head. I won’t.”

Coulson reached out and took her hands into his. “Melinda.”

There were tears in her eyes. “Phil, please.”

“Promise me. After all we’ve been to each other over the years, you owe it to me to stop me before I do something terrible that I can’t live with.” His eyes shone, matching hers.

 _How can I live with myself if I kill you? It’ll destroy me. There’ll be nothing left._ May nodded, blinking to keep the tears back.

He squeezed their hands together. “Thank you,” he whispered, not trusting himself to say any more.

“I have to go. Things to do.” May broke away from him and headed swiftly to the door.

Coulson didn’t try to stop her or say more. It was a rare emotional moment between them, charged with much more than what had been spoken aloud, and he knew her well enough to know she needed space to process the emotions and tuck them away where no one would suspect they existed. He understood her well, as he too shared her preference for keeping feelings tucked away where they weren’t vulnerable to others.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Time to compartmentalize his own feelings and get the job done. There were more people to talk to about unpleasant things … 

~ ~ ~ 

She pounded the track harder and faster each lap, as if exorcising her demons through sweat alone. Through the haze of exhaustion she became aware someone else had joined her on the track. She ignored him, picking up speed as he attempted to run with her.

“Well that’s more like it, Agent May. Now you’re showing us what you’ve got.”

May flared her nostrils. “Not now Hunter.”

“Why not?”

“Leave me alone,” she bit out between breaths, lengthening her stride some more.

He caught up to her again. “What fun would that be?”

“Get off the track. Now.”

“It’s a free country, I can - “

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as May pulled up slightly, turned mid-stride and planted her right fist into his abdomen. He went down like a rock, holding his stomach and moaning. She continued running, leaving him there to writhe in pain. As she passed him again, his arm snaked out and grabbed her ankle, causing her to crash to the ground.

“Dammit!” Winded, she scrambled to her feet. “That’s it, you’re a dead man. Don’t you _ever_ do that again,” she hissed as he stood to face her.

“You started it.”

“I told you to get off the track.”

“I don’t take orders from you.”

“You do as long as we’re paying you.” May’s voice rose as a red haze of rage descended and her blood began to boil. 

Hunter lunged for her then and she retaliated, the two of them throwing punches, twisting and kicking at one another. The fight didn’t last long; Hunter was strong and skilled but he was no match for her wider swath of hand-to-hand experience and the eruption of her emotional volcano. 

Just as she whirled down low, taking his feet out from under him and sending him flying to the ground, she heard Coulson’s voice telling them to stop. She rose, putting a foot on his chest to prevent him from standing. 

“What’s going on?” Coulson demanded. “May?”

“Just a lesson in obedience,” she panted. “We’re done now.”

Coulson’s eyebrows raised questioningly as May let Hunter up. 

“Yeah, we’re done,” he echoed, dusting himself off.

“Do we have a problem?” The director’s voice was icy.

May cut her eyes towards Hunter. “No. No problem.”

“Good. Get back to work.” As the two of them began to walk away, Coulson bit his lip. “May, a word?”

She stopped but didn’t turn around. He waited until Hunter was gone. “Do I want to ask?” he said softly.

“Probably not.” She touched a hand to her bloody lip as he walked around to stand in front of her. “Keep an eye on him. I don’t trust him.”

“Nor do I but we don’t have enough bodies. What was the problem today?”

“He’s not liking following my orders. That could be a problem out in the field.”

His eyebrow raised again. “Yes it could. I’ll have words with him too, now that you’ve had your say.” May smirked. “I’d really prefer you use words when dealing with our own people, May.”

“I will if you can get him to listen.”

He watched her as she walked out of the gym towards the personal quarters and nodded, sighing. He couldn’t really find fault with her, much as he wanted to. Hunter was a bit of an ass and he had definite disciplinary issues. He’d have to learn how to get along as part of the team and take orders from others or else he’d need to be cut loose.

Anyone who couldn’t find a way to work with Agent May had no place on the team.

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that as my story is now taking place during the events of season 2, any and all spoilers from anything that's aired might appear. I tend to like taking bits of scenes and/or conversations and reusing them in slightly different ways, so be warned that there be spoilers herein. 
> 
> Also to anyone who might be concerned, I am writing this purely for love of the characters and fandom and am making no money. If I borrow anything from the actual series, it's because it was well done and is worth using again! I do love good dialogue and sometimes the stuff on the show is just too good to resist. :)

Coulson struggled to keep his mind on the topic at hand as he briefed the team about to depart on their next mission. Lines and circles, signs and symbols ran through his mind, interrupting his thoughts as he tried to finish up with them. 

He became aware Skye was staring down at his desk and quickly pulled some papers over to cover the symbols he’d involuntarily etched onto its surface earlier. He looked up and met May’s eyes. She’d seen as well.

“Okay, so everyone knows where they need to be? Questions?”

“Are those more symbols like the ones you asked me to research?” Skye nodded her head towards the desk.

He decided to counter with an attack. “Have you had any luck deciphering them yet?”

She shook her head. “Not so far. Maybe if you could give me your source, I could follow up and find out more from there.”

“Sorry, that information is classified.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Hunter said slowly, “but aren’t you the boss? You could de-classify them.”

“I could but I won’t.”

“It’s not going to help me find answers if you’re hiding things.”

Coulson came around the desk to face Skye. “If you’re going to start questioning my word we’re going to have a problem, Skye, and that’s going to lead to a different conversation that I guarantee you’re not going to like.”

She stiffened. “Yes sir.”

“Dismissed then. You roll in thirty.”

Hunter followed Skye out of the office but May lingered behind. “Keeping this from her is only going to lead to trouble.”

“Perhaps, but regardless, I can’t have her openly questioning my authority like that.”

“I do,” she said quietly. 

“You’ve earned that right. As my assistant it’s your place to question, to challenge, to make sure I don’t miss something important.”

“Well you’re apparently missing the fact that Skye has noticed something’s up with you and is worried.”

“I don’t owe her an explanation.”

“I beg to differ,” May said coldly, heading towards the door. “Have you ever read ‘The Little Prince’ by Antoine de Saint-Exupery? I highly recommend it.” She threw him one last glare over her shoulder. “We’ll be in touch once we reach our destination.”

She was gone before he could open his mouth to argue or tell her to be careful. Her words would bear consideration, as always, but not yet. He had something he desperately needed to do first. 

Hanging a ‘do not disturb’ sign he’d borrowed from a hotel outside his door and locking it behind him, he began to take off his shoes and socks.

~ ~ ~ 

“Mind if I join you?” Skye climbed into the copilot seat beside May.

 _Would it matter if I said yes?_ She grunted in reply.

“It’s no wonder you and Coulson get along so well. You’re both such amazing conversationalists.”

May was trained to listen and to read body language. Underneath the scathing sarcasm she could see hurt and frustration. “We have our moments,” she said lightly, hoping to ease the tension.

“Funny how none of them seem to happen when I’m around.”

“If you have something to say, say it. I’m not one for idle conversation. I prefer to get to the point.”

Skye crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine. Coulson has changed. He’s acting strange. Different. Is something wrong?”

May’s first impulse was to protect him and deny everything, but just as quickly she rejected it. The girl was fearfully intelligent and becoming a better observer all the time. She’d know bullshit if she heard it.

“He’s just busy.”

“He always had time for me before.”

“That was before. This is now. Do you have any idea how much pressure the Director is under? When you first joined us he was the leader of a rogue team of five. We chose our missions and pretty much did whatever we wanted, carte blanche. Now he’s in charge of everyone, of everything, and every piece of intel Shield has, plus he has to deal with not knowing who’s a friendly and who isn’t, all the while trying to figure out how we can continue to do our jobs while the rest of the world is out to get us. That’s a lot of responsibility on one person’s shoulders and it’s bound to make him a lot less fun than he used to be.”

“I suppose, but I still have the feeling there’s something going on and he’s trying to keep it from me. Something to do with that weird carving.”

May took a deep breath. “If there is, he probably has a good reason for keeping it from you. He’s the Director, he’s going to have secrets. From all of us. He shares them when he feels it’s the right time. Try to be patient with him and give him some space. All these changes occurred almost overnight and it’s a lot to get used to. He’ll loosen up again, I know he will.”

“Are we there yet?” Hunter suddenly poked his head into the cockpit.

“If you ever ask that again I swear I’ll pull out your tongue and wrap a bow around your head with it.”

He grinned. “Promise?”

“Promise. Now get out.”

Skye smiled as he retreated. “You like him, don’t you?”

“No. I really don’t.”

~ ~ ~ 

 

Coulson put down the pad he’d been reading and sighed. May was right. He did owe Skye an explanation. She hadn’t shown any signs of it yet, but she was in the same position as he and Garrett, and might well suffer side effects of the serum he’d used to save her. She deserved to know everything.

A hesitant knock sounded at the door. “Come in.”

The door opened slowly. “I’m sorry, I know it says do not disturb, but … “

Coulson stood and walked towards Fitz. “Right. I forgot to remove that. Sorry. What’s on your mind?”

“It’s about Simmons.”

“What about her?”

“I’m worried about her.”

“Why? Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just … she’s packing.” Fitz’s arms moved restlessly as he spoke, underlining his agitation.

“Oh that. She’s just going home for a visit.” Coulson smiled reassuringly. 

“It’s just strange that she won’t talk to me about it. She normally gushes. I asked her about it and she was evasive. That’s really not like her. I thought maybe something was wrong.”

“Not that I know of, but even if I did, I couldn’t tell you. Confidentiality needs to be respected, even between members of a team. I know you and Simmons are close and I’m sure if there was something going on she’d tell you.”

Fitz’s eyes drifted down. “I suppose you’re right. Do you know how long she’ll be gone?”

“No, I don’t.” It was the first honest answer of the conversation. “She asked for a week. Hopefully she’ll be back after that as he skills are greatly valued and we’ll miss her.”

“Okay, well, thanks.”

 _Sometimes I really hate this job._ Hate or no, he knew the need for security, for only sharing information on a need-to-know basis, and it was even more important now when it was next to impossible to know who was the enemy. He didn’t think there were any more traitors in his camp (despite May’s gut feeling about Hunter), but he didn’t want to risk it after the debacle with Ward. He’d made a bit of a fool of himself trusting Ward and believing May was the enemy and he wouldn’t make that mistake again.

May was the only one he trusted completely now.

A signal on his comm sounded, letting him know the team was checking in. He pushed a button, putting it on the big screen.

“May. Everything green?”

“As a forest. We’re here and the target is under surveillance. So far, so good.”

“Good to hear. About earlier … I read it.”

“And?”

“You’re right.”

A fraction of a smile pulled her lip up. “I usually am.”

He smiled. “So you are. Good luck and try not to kill Hunter.”

“You ask much of me. I’ve already been tempted more than once.”

He almost laughed. Even grumpy she was good for his soul. He wondered, the sudden stray thought coming out of nowhere, how he’d survived so many years of minimal contact with her when she’d buried herself in paperwork. Life was so much … _more_ with her in it.

“Restrain yourself, for my sake. I’ve already got a couple of potential recruits to visit when you get back. No need for another make-work project.”

“You’ll owe me.”

“Come back safely and I’ll pay up.”

“Deal.”

~ ~ ~ 

“Are you sure this is safe?” Simmons fidgeted, unable to stay still. 

Coulson’s eyebrows raised. “I’m quite certain it isn’t, but I have faith you can make them believe in you.”

“I’ve never been a good liar. Even as a little girl - “

“You don’t need to be,” he interrupted gently. “Just focus on the science. Science is what you’re loyal to and all you’re interested in. That’s the truth and they’ll believe it.” He reached out and touched her arm. “You can do this, Simmons. I know you can. It’ll all be over before you know it and you’ll be back here again, wishing for that apartment we’ll be putting you up in.”

She smiled weakly. “Yes sir. Can I ask, is there going to be anyone else undercover there? Someone I can go to if I need help?”

“I can’t tell you any more than I already have, but know that I have a plan to get you out if there’s trouble. We won’t leave you high and dry, I promise you that.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay then, off I go.”

“Good luck.”

He stared at the door for a long time after she’d left, hoping he’d thought of everything.

~ ~ ~ 

“This mission seems to be pretty cut and dried.”

May grimaced at Hunter’s words. She didn’t believe in jinxes but she did know there was almost always trouble when someone spoke too soon.

“Seems to be,” Skye agreed, in communication with them, though out of their line of sight. “Be a nice change after all the crap we’ve been through lately.”

“Don’t count your chickens, people,” May admonished.

“Who’re you calling chicken?”

“Hunter, I will shoot you if you don’t shut up.”

Skye giggled through the comms then was abruptly silent. “Here he comes,” she whispered, “five hundred feet away. He should be rounding the corner about … now.”

“Got him.” Hunter pulled the field glasses down for a second. “Ready to bag and tag, boss?”

May raised an eyebrow at his turn of phrase. “Ready.” She aimed her stun gun at the gifted and drew in a slow breath, finding just the right angle for the shot.

“Wait! There are others. Agents.”

“Not ours.” It was both a statement and a question. Coulson had better not have changed the plan without telling her … 

“No, Hydra.”

“How many?”

“I count six.”

“Eight,” Skye corrected. “Two are still behind, keeping watch.”

“Here.” May thrust the stun gun at Hunter. “Skye, take out the back two. Hunter, take out two more, then follow the target and make sure you get him down. I’ll take the other four.”

“You don’t have a weapon,” he argued as she took off toward the stairs to head them off. 

“Don’t need one,” she called back.

“Crazy as a loon, that one,” he murmured. “Okay Skye, together now on three, two, one … “

Four shots fired in such close succession, May almost couldn’t tell how many there had been, but the four agents hitting the ground told her they’d done their job. Now it was time for her to do hers. 

It wasn’t an easy fight but she’d had harder, and in under five minutes she had them all flat out. Hunter came back as she was straightening herself out, the target slung fireman-style over his shoulder and Skye following him.

“Let’s go people. We need to get him secured before he wakes up.”

“We should get back to the Playground by then, shouldn’t we?”

May cut her eyes to Skye as they walked. “Should. The sedative is supposed to last six hours, but as he has an abnormal metabolism it’s hard to predict how it’ll work on him. I’d rather be safe.”

Back at the plane - she truly did miss the bus - once the prisoner had been secured and the other two were deep into a card game, May called Coulson.

“Are you okay?” were the first words out of his mouth.

“Fine. We’re on our way back now. We had some company.”

“Hydra?”

“Eight of them. We took them down and I didn’t see any reinforcements, but just to be on the safe side I’m going to take the long way back.”

“Good idea. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Not if I see you first.”

The flight was peaceful and allowed May to do what she liked to do best; be alone with her thoughts. As an ardent observer of others, she always had a lot to think about. Particularly Coulson, as it was both her orders and her self-imposed mission to watch over him and keep track of every little thing.

Suddenly she became aware that time had passed and she wasn’t aware. She’d been flying without conscious thought, about it or anything else. It was like something dark and thick had been draped across her mind, dulling her senses and not allowing her to focus on anything.

“What the hell?” she asked herself out loud, shaking her head to clear it.

“You want to land up ahead,” a whispered voice that seemed to originate in her head said. “The open ground to the north. Take the plane down there.”

“No!”

A hooded figure climbed into the cockpit and waved his hand. “You will do as I wish. They all do.”

May’s eyes glazed over as if she’d been turned to stone, and she began to lower the plane down to land it.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

Coulson was sure he was wearing a hole in the floor of his office, so hard was he pacing. They were now three hours past the longest time he would have given them for the “long” way home and still no word. He left his office at a near run and burst into the ops center. “Where are they?” he growled.

Mack and Fitz, manning the controls, both shrugged. “They’re not showing up anywhere. Either their GPS is off or they’re somewhere that’s masking the signal.”

Coulson threw Fitz a withering glance. That much he could figure out for himself. “Find them. They’ve got to be somewhere.”

“I don’t know if we can - “

“Likelihood is they’re in trouble,” he interrupted. “May never goes dark without letting me know.” _Because she knows I’ll worry._ He swallowed hard. “If they are in trouble, the only way we can get help to them is to find them. I want them found now.” He stalked out of the room.

“Is he always like that?”

Fitz sighed. “Pretty much. He’s very calm and patient until he’s not.”

Mack shrugged again. “Let’s get to work then.”

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson’s next stop was the hangar. Tripp was busy rebuilding something or other, so engrossed in his work that he didn’t realize he had company. 

“Sir,” he said quickly, standing up straight when he noticed Coulson there. “Sorry, didn’t see you come in.”

“At ease. How quickly can you have the two-seater ready to go?”

“Half an hour to fuel her up and do a quick systems check. Why?”

“The team is missing.”

“Missing?”

“Off the radar. I’ve got the others trying to find them. I want you to be ready to roll when they do, as I believe they may be in trouble.”

“Yes sir. I’ll get started right away.”

Coulson nodded brusquely and headed back to his office. He still didn’t like being called sir but he supposed he’d best get used to it. ‘Sir’ was a lot shorter than “Director Coulson’ and it was bound to catch on. He hoped May wouldn’t start using it though. It would feel wrong after all the years they’d known one another.

He tried to raise her on the comms again but with no luck. Where the hell was she?

~ ~ ~ 

May shook her head to clear it. She’d gone a little fuzzy and that really wasn’t like her. She never lost focus while piloting; one small error and that could be the end of all of them. She checked the controls and frowned. They should have been back by now, shouldn’t they? The afternoon seemed like it had stretched on forever. She adjusted course and altitude slightly to get them where they needed to be - under the government’s radar - and hit the communications button. Time to check in with Coulson and give him their ETA.

“Thank god! Are you okay? What happened?”

She frowned at his words and the momentary look of panic on his face. “Nothing happened. We’re fine. Why?”

“You’re almost four hours off schedule and the GPS tracker is offline. You disappeared.”

“You must be mistaken. Nothing unusual happened here.” The moment she said it, she knew the words weren’t true. She didn’t remember anything specific, but the fuzziness she’d felt _had_ been unusual. Before she could retract her statement, Coulson had already moved on.

“No matter. We’ll talk about it when you get back. ETA?”

“Two hours, give or take a minute. And Phil - “

“No worries, it’ll wait.” He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too.”

“Get home safely.”

“Copy that.”

Coulson sat back and stared at the dark screen for long moments after the call had ended. Another complication to be dealt with. Another reason to worry about May.

~ ~ ~ 

An armed guard greeted them at the hangar as May finished her post-flight shutdown and they exited the plane. Two of them broke out of rank to flank the prisoner. 

“Take two more. He’s very dangerous.”

Coulson, standing apart, nodded at May’s suggestion. 

As the rest of the guard closed in around them, Hunter spooked and reached for his gun.

“Come with us, sir,” one of the guards said.

“The hell I will! What is this Coulson?” he demanded.

“Hunter, stand down,” May said fiercely. She stepped between them and made as if to draw her own weapon. “I said stand down or I’ll have to shoot you.”

“What the hell - “ Skye’s face wrinkled in confusion.

“Do as she says, Hunter,” Coulson echoed. “Now.”

He shook his head, muttering as he raised his hands in the air after dropping his weapon gently to the ground.

Coulson turned. “May.”

She too put her weapon down and hands in the air.

“Skye.”

“Yeah, I got it.” She followed suit. “No idea why, but I got it.”

“These gentlemen will escort you to a holding cell. I trust you’ll give them no trouble.”

Not a word was spoken on the walk down the hallways. May met Coulson’s eyes just before she entered the cell. He gave her an all-but imperceptible nod.

“Okay, what the hell is this all about?” Hunter demanded once they were alone.

“Routine.”

“Routine? How is this routine?”

“Something strange happened on the flight. They need to make sure whatever it was isn’t a threat.”

“What do you mean something strange?” Skye asked. “I don’t remember anything happening.”

“And that’s part of it. We apparently lost four hours on the way back. Coulson is being careful, as I would if I were in his place.” May frowned. “Do you two remember anything out of the ordinary happening? Anything at all?”

“I kind of felt tired and groggy,” Skye said, “when we were playing. Like I’d been asleep and just woken up. But if I’d fallen asleep you’d have known - “ she looked at Hunter. “Right?”

“You didn’t. Not unless I was asleep too and that would be quite the coincidence.”

May growled under her breath. “There is no such thing as coincidence. That’s why we’re in here - something happened and they need to find out what.”

“And to what end,” Skye added.

May drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. “They’ll take us one by one. Might as well get comfortable and wait your turn.”

~ ~ ~ 

“I’m not entirely sure how to work this equipment,” Fitz said slowly. “That was Gemma’s department.”

“I know.” Coulson’s voice was soft, understanding. “But I need you to try. We have to give each of them a full physical check to make sure they weren’t harmed in any way while they were missing. Can you do that?”

“I can try.”

“I’ll give you a hand, if it might help,” Mack put in.

“What do you know about bioscanners?”

“Nothing.” He grinned cheerfully. “But if you could use an extra pair of hands I’ve got ‘em and I learn pretty quickly. Maybe you can use me.”

“Good idea,” Coulson approved. “I’ll get the first one up here in fifteen if you think you can be ready by then.”

“Consider it done.”

 _I like him,_ Coulson thought, as he headed back toward the cells. _They jury may still be out on Hunter, but I like his crew. Too bad we lost Isabelle. We could have used another good woman on the team._ His mouth quirked as he wondered what Hunter’s response would be when he brought one of the other female field agents he had in play back to the fold. He guessed it was going to be very amusing … and very explosive.

~ ~ ~ 

They took Skye first. No surprise to May; she knew the order they’d be taken in and knew she’d be last, probably to be questioned by Coulson himself after the routine physical. She’d been in charge of the mission after all; whatever had happened on it was her responsibility. 

“How can you sleep at a time like this?”

May didn’t open her eyes. “I’m not sleeping.”

“What are you doing then?”

“Thinking. You should try it more often.”

She could almost hear Hunter’s scowl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Finally she opened her eyes and met his. “Use your mouth less and your brain more.”

“You sound just like my ex-wife.”

“I’m kind of surprised she just divorced you and didn’t kill you, to be honest.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and stopped pacing. “You too? What is it with you women?”

May’s eyebrow quirked. “Has it ever occurred to you that the problem might be you?”

His scowl deepened. 

“Never mind. Go back to your pacing. Wear a hole in the floor if you like, just leave me alone with my thoughts.”

“What are you thinking about?”

 _A way to kill you and get away with i_ t? “I’m trying to remember all the details of the flight home. Something happened and one of us has to remember some little detail that can help.”

~ ~ ~ 

The armed guard escorted her to the lab and stayed positioned tactically - one at the door and one right beside her, presumably at Coulson’s orders. She didn’t blame him; given the lengths Hydra had gone to in their quest for world domination, anything was possible.

May underwent all of scans willing, if silently, obeying the guards’ orders to come with them to Coulson’s office. They remained in the same formation there, one guarding her, the other guarding the door.

“I’ve got a couple of new shadows,” she murmured.

“For a while.” The look he gave her was apologetic.

“Understandable. The Director needs to be protected at all costs.”

“I wish I knew from what.”

“I wish I could tell you.” Her forehead lined as she grew thoughtful. “Something on that flight wasn’t right but I can’t remember anything specific actually happening. One minute everything was normal, the next it was normal again but we’d lost four hours. I don’t remember anything in between.”

“Thoughts? Feelings? I trust your gut instincts.”

“I remember feeling fuzzy, as if I’d woken up from a nap. I don’t ever lose focus when I’m flying, you know that. I couldn’t possibly have been sleeping … Skye reported the same feeling. Hunter’s just, well, Hunter. Uncooperative at the best of times.” She shuddered slightly. “The thought that I might have actually been flying for four hours with concentrating or being aware of what I was doing is extremely scary.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had Tripp check the plane out. The GPS was offline, beginning one hour and fifty minutes into the flight. It looks like someone turned it off manually. The log shows you landed and the plane remained unmoving for over three hours. Fuel consumption agrees with that. Those facts raise several rather frightening questions that I need answers to. Who turned off the GPS, how did they make you land the plane against your will, where was it when it was on the ground, and why?”

May shook her head reflexively. “The thought that someone did something to us and then erased our memories of it is terrifying.”

Coulson’s eyebrow raised. “As someone who’s had some experience with that phenomenon, I can say it really is.”

“I can’t even imagine how you must have felt. I should have tried to be more understanding.”

“That’s in the past. We have more pressing things to worry about now. I don’t even want to broach the subject, but - “ He hesitated.

“You think we might have been compromised somehow.” 

“I can’t think of any other possibilities. Nothing appears to have been taken, the plane wasn’t sabotaged … why would someone abduct you three for four hours and release you again, unharmed? It doesn’t make sense, unless you assume whoever did this was after you, Skye or Hunter.”

“You’re thinking brainwashing? Hydra definitely does that, but don’t they keep those people at one of their facilities? I mean, what can you accomplish in four hours on the fly?”

Coulson’s look was grim. “Neither Skye nor Hunter has training in how to resist torture. You might not break but they would. Four hours is a long time.”

“It’s about Skye then. Anyone who knows anything about you knows Skye means a great deal to you. Hunter is disposable, why mess with him?”

“Unless someone was trying to program him to destroy us from the inside … “

“You want me to keep a closer eye on him?”

“On both of them, if you can.”

May stood. “Of course. First priority is always keeping you and Shield safe and uncompromised.”

Coulson stood too, coming around the desk and locking eyes with her. “I’m counting on you.” 

She nodded once. “Make sure you keep those guards nearby. I can’t watch all three of you that closely at the same time.”

“Copy that. And May, watch your back.”

“Always do.”

**TBC**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick reminder that there are spoilers for all aired episodes (both seasons) in this story. This particular chapter occurs somewhere before s2e4, "I Will Face My Enemy" so be warned if you haven't seen that episode or anything after it. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Why so downcast?”

Skye pulled her eyes away from the wall she’d been staring intently at and looked up. “Downcast. Is that a British-ism?”

“Downcast. Your eyes are cast down. You seem down, perhaps unhappy about something.” Hunter shrugged. “Would you prefer ‘hey babe, what’s eating you?’ “

Skye chuckled and drew her up knees up, hugging them. “Nah, stick to the Britishisms. They’re educational.”

He sat on the couch beside her. “I think that’s the first time anyone has ever considered me educational.” He paused a moment. “So my original question still stands. Is something bothering you? Anything I can help with?”

“Yes and no, I don’t think so. It’s those damned carvings.”

“Pretty perplexing if you ask me.”

“It’s not even that. I can deal with perplexing, which, by the way, is also a good word. You’re good for my vocabulary. Finding answers is what I do. It’s the _secrets_ that are bothering me. Coulson assigned me to research the glyphs but he’s holding back information that could help me find the answers he wants. He knows something - May too, I know she’s in on the secret - and I want to know what it is.”

“He won’t tell you, even if you ask him point blank?”

“You saw him in the office the other day. Any time I even get near the subject it’s like he throws up a brick wall to keep me out.”

“So find someone else who can tell you what you want to know. I hear your boyfriend downstairs is a regular fount of information. Why don’t you ask him?”

She bristled. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

Hunter put up his hands. “Easy, no harm intended. I’ve just heard rumours … “

“Yeah, well they’re wrong. We were never anything, just student and teacher.”

 _Not for lack of wishing on your part._ He recognized a woman hurt by a lover when he saw it. Maybe they hadn’t actually been lovers yet, but she’d wished for it and Ward’s betrayal still hurt like an open wound. “I’m just saying there are others who might have the answers you’re looking for.” He stood up. “Sometimes you have to go around if being direct doesn’t get you anywhere.”

Skye pondered his words after he’d left her. Maybe he was right. Ward had been with Garrett a lot of years. Been with him at the end too, when he’d gone bonkers and had to be put down. Maybe Garrett had told him something about the alien writing. 

She sighed. Coulson would never let her talk to Ward about it. Not ever. He monitored their every conversation and pulled the plug when it got too personal. But he was gone now - away interviewing new Shield prospects. Should she … ? 

No, May would probably be watching. She saw everything. 

Still feeling downcast, she got up and began wandering restlessly. One good thing about the Playground; it was spacious and much like a rabbit warren. She could wander up and down the corridors and rarely bump into anyone. Her wanderings eventually took her past the firing range. Wait, May was there, and so was Fitz, clearly frustrated with his scores. 

She hurried away before May saw her and drew her in for more practice. Her heartbeat quickened as she descended the steps to Ward’s cell. Drawing in a couple of deep breaths, she slowed it down again the way May had taught her before removing the opaque screen.

“Skye.” The smile he gave her was genuine and it made her heart flutter. _He’s the bad guy. Don’t forget that._

She sat in the chair opposite him. “I need some information.”

“Anything. I’m here to help, Skye, in any way I can.”

_Don’t be fooled by his open, boy-next-door attitude. He seemed honest and sweet back at Providence when he talked about his past and professed his feelings, but he had blood on his face when he kissed you - blood from killing Koenig. Don’t trust him._

“I need to know about the alien carvings,” she said slowly, keeping her voice businesslike. “The ones we found on the Bus, etched into the glass. What do you know about them?”

“Garrett made them. After he took the serum.”

“ _Garrett_ did them?”

“Yes. After Raina gave him the first dose of the serum she was working on, he got kind of scattered. Unfocused. Like his mind was somewhere else. And then he began carving those weird symbols everywhere. On the walls, the floor … By the time you took us down I was a little afraid of him, to be honest. He wasn’t making any sense and he was getting more and more violent. I didn’t trust him.”

“Garrett,” she repeated thoughtfully.

“Yes, Garrett. Is there anything else you want to know?”

“Have you seen those symbols anywhere else?”

Ward shook his head. “No.”

“Thanks.” She got up and headed towards the stairs.

“Skye, wait,” he pleaded. “Don’t go. Stay and talk to me.”

“I can’t. I have things to do.” She pushed the button to make the force field opaque again and drew in a deep breath. 

No wonder Coulson didn’t want anyone to know the truth. _He_ was the one carving the symbols.

~ ~ ~ 

“Hey, Fitz, come here.”

“I’m busy.”

“Busy doing what, moping?” Mack swivelled his eyes to the other end of the lab where Fitz sat staring at the desk. Where he’d sat, staring, for most of the last week, doing absolutely nothing but pretending to work. Mack wasn’t fooled; he knew Fitz was pining for Simmons and couldn’t seem to focus without her. “Be busy coming over here. I’ve got something to show you.”

His heart beat quickly. He wasn’t entirely sure that what he’d found was what he thought it was, but his gut feeling was telling him he was right and Mack always listened to his gut. He hadn’t been the best student in school - not by a longshot - but he’d always instinctively known how things worked, and he’d learned to trust his hunches and gut feelings even when he didn’t quite understand what he was looking at.

“What is it?” Fitz asked testily, sitting down beside him.

“This. Look.” Mack pointed at the screen. 

“What am I looking at?”

“You tell me. Schematics for ship modifications. Exterior modifications.”

Fitz frowned but read through the technical specs as he scrolled through several pages of math. “No, it can’t be.” His eyes widened. “You can’t … it isn’t possible … “

“Yes it is. Look here - refractive panelling.” Mack’s voice rose in excitement. “We can do this too, can’t we?”

“Well in theory, maybe, but practically - “

“I know where we can get the materials.”

Fitz faced him. “You do?”

The excitement in the room was palpable. “Yes. If we make a few modifications of our own to these specs - “

“They are fifty years old after all,” Fitz agreed.

“And we retrofit the plane with panels to cover every inch of it … “

“We’ll have cloaking technology!” they said in unison, high-fiving one another.

“Let’s get going.” Mack got to his feet, eyes sparkling.

“Shouldn’t we ask Coulson first?”

“Let’s surprise him. I’ll bet he could use some good news. If we work fast maybe we can have the panels ready by the time he brings the plane back.”

~ ~ ~ 

She sat in his office, alone, allowing herself to reminisce. It wasn’t something Melinda May did often -- too many regrets coloured her life and thinking about them made her sad. She couldn’t help it though, sitting here in Coulson’s chair, smelling his cologne on it from the endless hours he’d sat here working. 

She knew he missed working in the field. He’d never once complained at having to take over as Shield’s head, a position that required more personnel coordination and paperwork than actual physical challenge, but she knew. She knew too that he was saddened by his physical and mental condition, which worried her to the point of restricting him to the Playground when he wasn’t interviewing recruits. He hadn’t taken to it cheerfully but he hadn’t complained to her either. He was a good man; always seeing the bigger picture and understanding what needed to be done, even if he found it unpleasant. 

Well, May had good news for him. They were going on a mission together, just the two of them, a personal one related to the glyphs he’d been carving. She devoutly hoped they’d find some answers, or at least some hints as to why Garrett had gone stark-raving mad, and whether or not Coulson would follow suit.

She didn’t want to admit it even to herself, but she was excited at the prospect of being in the field with him again. They’d done some of that in the year she’d been assigned to watch over him, but this was going to be much more like the old days - just the two of them working undercover, relying only on one another and having each other’s backs. She’d missed their partnership, much more than she’d ever let on to anyone.

_“I can’t believe you left me in the bay to freeze for five hours!” She rolled them over so she was on top of him, pinning him to the bed._

_“I got you out. Eventually.” He smiled that endearing smile that always melted her heart and May nearly caved._

_“Five hours,” she repeated sternly. “Longest five hours of my life.”_

_“How was I supposed to know you were in there? The boss never told us the plan - “_

_“If he even had one,” she grumbled._

_“ - and I thought you’d gotten out and would meet me at the backup location.” Coulson ran a finger up her spine, stopping just at the nape of her neck. “I never would have left you there to freeze if I’d known.”_

_“I’m still cold you know.” She shivered, as much from his touch on her skin as from the near-hypothermia she’d suffered earlier._

_He slid the other hand up under her shirt and caressed her chilly skin. “I’ve heard the best way to warm up is to be skin to skin. I’ll be happy to warm you if you let me take that shirt off.”_

May shuddered involuntarily, the years between their intimacy and now melting away and leaving her aroused like he’d just touched her moments ago. It had been so long since anyone had touched her like that … with affection and love.

_“You promise you’ll never leave me in the bay again?”_

_He framed her face in his hands. “I promise I’ll never leave you Mel, in the bay or anywhere else. I’ll always stand beside you and have your back, no matter what. Forever. Together we can take on the world and win. I know we can.”_

_There were tears in her eyes. “I love you, Phil. I don’t think I even have the words to tell you how much.”_

_“Then show me.”_

She allowed herself a rare moment of regret for what had passed between them after that before settling down to business. Coulson was counting on her to keep everything under control while he was gone and she was going to do just that.

~ ~ ~ 

Something similar was going through Coulson’s mind and heart at exactly the same time. He considered himself a pretty decent judge of character, but he wished May could be here with him to give her thoughts on the two men sitting in front of him. She had a unique perspective on people and was particularly good at reading them, perhaps because she spent so much time in quiet observation.

He missed having her by his side. Too many years had passed that they’d barely interacted with one another, but since beginning field work together a year ago, he’d gotten used to having her by his side, watching his back, and unabashedly offering her thoughts on the people and situations they encountered. _We always worked well together. I’ve never had the same kind of relationship with anyone I’ve worked with since then, even after all these years._

Well, he was going to have to go with his gut on this one, and his gut was telling him they were good. It was time to offer them a place and head home. Strange as it sounded, he missed the Playground. It was home now. _No, home is wherever May is._ He pushed the thought away. It might be true but he was better off not admitting to himself how he felt about her. Rekindling what they once had was a risky prospect, even if she did agree to it, which he felt pretty certain she wouldn’t. She’d been the one to leave him after all - if she’d wanted them to stay together she would have stayed and made it work. They didn’t come any more stubborn than Melinda May and she would never give up on something once she made up her mind.

She almost smiled as she answered his call. “Hey, you two still alive and well?”

“Still here and coming home with two more.”

“Good. We can always use more people.”

He quirked his head and half smiled. “More work for you though, making sure they’re trained adequately.”

“That’s okay. Once you’re back I don’t have to do your job anymore.” Now she really was smiling … for May. He could see it even if the rest of the world couldn’t.

“You answered my hail awfully fast. Enjoying my office are you?”

“Just keeping the chair warm for you. I’m more than happy to hand it over when you get back.”

“Should be a little under two hours before we land.”

“Copy that. I’ll have dinner warm and waiting.”

“Thanks honey. You know I love you, right?”

May smirked. “Way to a man’s heart is always through his stomach.”

“What can I say? We’re simple creatures.”

“Yeah. Right. Simple is hardly the adjective I’d use.”

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a spoiler note, this episode takes place during the events of "I Will Face My Enemy". Some of the scenes and dialogue are similar to what occurred on the show, some are very different. As I've only watched the episode once (the day it aired), I couldn't remember all of the dialogue details so please remember it won't be exactly as aired. 
> 
> Enjoy!

After enduring half an hour of Tripp surreptitiously staring at him, Coulson could take no more. 

“All right, go ahead. Say whatever it is you have to say.”

“Sir?”

“Don’t be coy, Tripp. I can almost hear you thinking. So go ahead and say it.”

“Permission to speak freely?”

“Granted.”

“How come you and Agent May don’t … you know.”

Coulson lifted an eyebrow. “You know?”

“Get back together. It’s clear you both have feelings for each other.”

Coulson took a moment before answering, trying to find the right words. “Yes, I still care for her but that doesn’t mean she feels the same way.”

“Are you kidding me?” Tripp glanced quickly at him before returning his attention to piloting. “It’s written all over her. The way she looks at you, talks to you … she never jokes with anyone else. I’ve been with you, what, five months now and I’ve never seen her smile except when she’s with you. Maybe you can’t see it but it’s clear as daylight to the rest of us. You two share something special and it makes both of you light up when you’re together.” Tripp cleared his throat. “Maybe it’s forward of me to be saying so, but I don’t understand why you’re wasting time you could be spending being happy together. This gig is dangerous - I don’t have to tell _you_ that - and any day could be your last. Why go out with regrets when it’s all said and done?”

Coulson swallowed hard. “You’re right,” he said softly. “It’s just … the situation between us is complicated.”

“When isn’t love complicated?”

He said it with such a sigh of resignation Coulson couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re an expert on the subject, Tripp?”

“No sir, just a man who’s as confused as the rest about love.”

“The mysteries of the universe are easy compared to figuring out how love works.”

Tripp scratched his head. “Perhaps we shouldn’t try so hard to figure it out, rather just let it happen and enjoy it.”

Coulson looked over at him. “Perhaps you’re right. And perhaps you should take some of your own advice. You’re a wise man, Agent Triplett.”

“Thank you sir. I just might do that.”

~ ~ ~ 

Koenig took charge of the new recruits upon arrival, meeting them at the hangar and walking with them towards the heart of the base. “Agent May is in your office. She said to send you up as soon as you arrived back.”

Tripp winked at Coulson, who frowned at him. “Thank you. I’m on my way.” He broke off from them and headed towards the stairs. His heart beat faster as he approached the door.

May looked up and smiled as he entered and he was reminded of Tripp’s words. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“So am I. Strange as it sounds, I’m beginning to think of this place as home.”

She stood and moved away from the desk. “I’ll let you have your chair back. I know you missed it and I have no desire to take over your job.”

Coulson sat, drawing in a breath full of her scent. “It may be yours anyway, if something happens to me.”

“That’s why I’m here to make sure it doesn’t.”

“I can always count on you for that. How were things while I was gone?”

“Smooth as silk, surprisingly. No problems. However I did discover something you’ll be interested in - I found another set of those alien carvings.”

His attention sharpened and the smile fell away. “Where?”

“Here.” She showed him the article about the painting and the plan she’d made to acquire it. 

“Just you and me, undercover?” He didn’t want to sound too excited though his heart jumped at the prospect. 

“Unless you want to be telling the others about the carvings.” She smirked. “Besides, we’ll be posing as a married couple. I think we might have more experience pulling that off than anyone else here.”

“Sounds good. What about our newest guests? We’re both going to need to spend some time with them, assessing where they’ll fit and how much training they’re going to need to meet your standards.”

“The mission should be an in and out. Complete in under a day. I’m sure Koenig can keep them under wraps that long. The gala is tomorrow night and I’ve got us tickets.”

“It sounds like you’ve thought of everything.”

“That’s why you pay me the big bucks.”

He laughed out loud. “Have I ever told you how glad I am you’re willing to work for free? I don’t know how we’d survive without you.”

“You’d manage. It just wouldn’t be nearly as fun.”

~ ~ ~ 

Despite the gravity of the mission they were on, Coulson was enjoying himself thoroughly. May was pretending not to but he could tell she was enjoying it too. 

“We should consider doing this more often,” he said softly in her ear.

She lifted an eyebrow delicately. “Dancing or going on undercover missions together?”

He spun her around. “Yes.”

Hair flying, she spun back into his arms, pressed closer than before. “It would be fun but we have to live in the reality that we have, and there’s really no place for fun in it.”

“Well there should be.” His smile turned serious. “We have way too much reality to face these days. The burden of it is weighing both of us down. I think we need to make time for a little fun now and then.”

She pulled away just a fraction. “So when were you planning on telling me about your hand?”

 _Too close,_ he realized. He’d pushed just a shade too much and if he wasn’t careful he’d drive her away. “You saw it?” he whispered, leaning in close.

“All the way here.”

“Did the others see?”

“No, they’re good. But you’re clearly not. If I think you’re not up for this mission, I’ll pull the plug.”

“I understand. It’s better now though.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’d be able to feel it, wouldn’t you?” He pulled her a little tighter against him.

“Point.”

There was an awkwardness between them as the dance worse on. Coulson was acutely aware of it and knew May was too. He wished he could take the words back, true though they were, so they could be easy together again. Romantic tension wasn’t good for a working relationship and now that he’d brought it back to the forefront, it was crackling between them like a live wire.

Things had gone quickly downhill after that and all personal thoughts had fled as they’d had to rework the plan on the fly after seeing General Talbot at the gala. Just when they thought they’d escaped, he appeared before them out on the street, offering what seemed to be an olive branch.

Coulson didn’t trust it. He glanced at May. She wasn’t buying either.

“Okay, sure,” he said lightly in answer to Talbot’s offer. “Your hotel room in an hour.” He felt the wave of surprise from her and hoped Talbot did too. There had to be some way to catch the man off guard. 

“What are you doing?” May demanded through clenched teeth as Talbot got back into his car. 

“Buying us a way to get in and find out what he really wants.”

She relaxed visibly. “Head back to our hotel and let the others know what’s up. I’ll tail him and scout it out. I’ll contact you when I have intel.”

“Good. And May - “

She met his eyes. “I know.”

As he drove back to the hotel he thought about that last exchange. He hadn’t even been sure what he’d been going to say - be careful, be quick, don’t take unnecessary risks, I love you … it really didn’t matter. She knew. She knew everything about him, even knew what he was thinking before he knew himself.

She was definitely _the_ woman for him. Now he just had to convince her of that. Again.

~ ~ ~ 

She entered their hotel suite like a whirlwind, interrupting conversation and pulling him away from the others unceremoniously. It was a bit brusque, even for her, but he shrugged it off, assuming the stress of the mission combined with their personal stress was making her cranky. So be it, they would spend some time alone once the mission was done to talk over the painting and what it meant. He’d make some time then to talk about _them_ as well and see where it led.

The conversation in the car put him on high alert. She wasn’t responding at all like May would, and taking his hand and assuring him she’d take care of Shield once he was gone rang alarm bells both in his head and heart.

She looked like May and sounded like May, but who the hell was she and how did she know so much about them, enough to mimic May’s appearance and voice and to know which hotel they were staying at? Which begged an even more urgent question, in his mind anyway, _where was the real May_? He prayed they hadn’t hurt her. Hydra -- for he was certain only they had the resources to pull something like this off. Everyone else who was after them only wanted them dead or locked up. 

He waited until they were in the hotel to confront her. “So, May - “ She turned to face him. “You know we never did get that coffee we were going to way back when. When all of this is over, what say we finally go and do it.”

She batted her eyelashes. “I’d like that.”

That did it. Before she could even suspect something was wrong, he punched her in the face, knocking her off balance. 

“Hey!”

“Who are you and what have you done with Agent May?” he demanded.

“How did you - “

She never finished, as the real May burst out of the door in front of them to confront her double. She was clad only in her under slip and freshly bruised skin, disheveled and barefoot, but she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen as she took up her warrior stance, ready to tackle the impostor. 

“May?” he breathed.

“Yeah, it’s me.” She faced her double. “Come on bitch. Let’s see who you really are and what you’re made of.”

“I can’t believe I’m the only one seeing this,” Coulson said incredulously as they began to fight. Watching two Melinda Mays - one in _that_ dress, the other in less - fighting each other was both astonishing and titillating. He found himself somewhat inappropriately turned on and was only able to drag his eyes away when he caught sight of Bakshi escaping with the painting. 

“Are you okay here?” he asked.

“Yes. Go.”

The two of them did what they did best, May taking out her imposter, removing the mask to reveal her real face, and Coulson taking down Bakshi and retrieving the painting. They met back up in the foyer of the hotel and drove back in silence.

“Do I even want to ask?” Skye said, eyebrows raising at May’s appearance.

“No, you really don’t.”

Coulson clucked. “It’s too bad. I really liked that dress.”

May slitted her eyes at him. “I won’t miss the shoes.”

He smirked. “Here, let me help you get cleaned up.” He helped her sit down and used the first aid kit to clean up several deep gashes and patch them up.

“How did you know she wasn’t me?” May asked softly, curiosity lighting her dark eyes. 

“Little things.” He met those eyes. “I know you, May-Lin, and she didn’t act like you.”

She nodded, still curious, but unwilling to ask for details in front of the others. “I’ll just get changed and we can head home.”

~ ~ ~

She knocked softly on the door, not wanting to disturb him if he was busy. At his returned “come in” she entered quietly, shutting the door behind her and standing somewhat indecisively in the middle of the floor.

“May.” Coulson smiled. “Good to see you back to normal again.”

She looked down at herself, clad in black, hair straight and still slightly damp from the shower. 

“What’s up?”

She walked carefully over to his desk and perched on the corner, still not saying anything. 

His smile faded. “Is something wrong?”

May sighed. “How _did_ you know the impostor wasn’t me? Really. The others said they wouldn’t have known the difference.”

“I told you,” he said softly, the ghost of a smile pulling at his lips. “I know you. They don’t. They think they do but they only see what’s on the surface, what you let them see.”

“And you know the rest.”

“I’d like to think so. I know you’ve changed since Bahrain, we’ve both changed as we’ve grown older and lived through so much, but there are some things about you that are still exactly as I remember them. Like you not liking coffee.”

She gave him a puzzled look. 

“I asked her out for coffee.”

“Why?”

“Because I suspected she wasn’t you, and when she agreed I _knew_ she wasn’t you. Not only would you have made some sarcastic comment about me not remembering that you don’t like coffee, I knew you wouldn’t have said yes when I asked you out on a date.”

The air crackled between them again and May could almost see the electricity. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.”

The surprised look on his face was almost comical. “Oh?”

“Yes.” 

“Yes?”

May stood and looked down at him, smiling ever so slightly. “I might just be willing to go out for a drink with you, provided it isn’t coffee.”

Coulson stood as well and took one step closer to her. “Maybe I don’t know you as well as I thought, but I think I’d definitely like to know more.”

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

A knock on the door and a head popping into the room broke the spell between them. May could almost see it snap, the thread that had been pulling them closer together, and she cursed Skye inwardly, for she felt sure Coulson had been about to kiss her.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?”

Coulson put on a smile. “It’s okay. Is there something we can help you with?”

Skye walked a couple of steps into the room. “I uh … was hoping I could speak with you. Privately.” She looked apologetically at May with big brown puppy dog eyes.

“It’s okay,” May echoed dryly. “I was just leaving.” 

She made for the door but Coulson’s voice stopped her. “May.” She turned and met his eyes, waiting. “I’ll see you later?”

“Count on it.”

After May had gone, shutting the door behind her to give them privacy, Skye walked over to him, eyebrows peaked curiously. “So what was that all about?”

“We were just … it’s nothing. What’s bothering you Skye?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Why didn’t you tell me you were the one carving the symbols?”

“It wasn’t necessary for you to know.”

“Does May know?”

“Yes.”

“Sure, you told her but you wouldn’t tell me.”

“She’s my oldest friend Skye, plus she has a Shield clearance level that’s higher than all the rest of you combined. I trust her with things no one else can know.”

“I get that, but I have the GH serum in my body too. You didn’t think it was relevant to let me know I might go batshit crazy and start carving things up? No offense.”

“None taken.” Coulson stood his ground. “That’s exactly why we’re trying to keep it a secret. We don’t understand why this is happening and generally when people don’t understand something they fear it. I don’t want the others knowing until we have some answers for them.”

“What if you don’t find them?”

He paused and sighed. “That isn’t an option.” He walked around the desk and sat. Skye followed suit, sitting with her legs drawn up in the chair opposite him.

“Were you ever going to tell me what was going on?”

“Of course. We were just keeping an eye on you to see if you showed any signs of the same madness.”

“An eye on me? You mean you’ve been spying on me?” Her face reddened. “That’s why you made her my SO. So you could have her spy on me.”

“No, that’s not the reason at all. The two things have nothing to do with one another. I asked May to be your SO, and yes, I _asked_ , I didn’t order. I wanted it to be her decision. She’s the best of all of us in the field and I wanted you to benefit from her knowledge and ability. As for spying on you, well, we both have been. Not spying, just watching. You’re right, you do have the GH 325 in your system just like I do but you haven’t exhibited any signs of the madness Garrett had and that I’m beginning to have.”

She leaned forward, elbows on the desk, curious now. “When did you start carving?”

“The first night I saw Garrett’s carvings. It’s like they spoke to me somehow and ever since I’ve been seeing those symbols in my head.”

“What do they mean?”

Coulson shook his head. “Hell if I know. That’s why I have you researching it.”

She sat back and hugged her knees up to her chest. “So how come it isn’t happening to me? Why don’t I feel the same compulsion to carve? I’ve been looking at those symbols every day trying to figure out what they could be but they’re not saying anything to me.”

“Good,” he said warmly. “I have some theories as to why they may not be affecting you, but they’re a little off the wall. Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re not affected and I hope it stays that way.”

Empathy shone in her eyes. “It isn’t easy, is it?”

“No. At first it was kind of random - once or twice a month. Now it’s almost constant. I see the symbols in my mind all the time, and I need to get them out. I can’t concentrate on what I need to focus on while they’re driving me crazy.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Just don’t tell the others. I don’t need them thinking I’m going crazy or we might have a revolt on our hands, and that’s the last thing we need right now.”

“Are you? Going crazy I mean.”

“If I am, May’s got orders to take care of the problem and take my place as Director.”

“ _Kill_ you?” Incredulity mixed with distaste coloured her face. “Would she actually do it?”

Coulson weighed his words carefully before answering, leaving a long silence. “May is a good soldier. She’ll do what she has to do. I just hope, for both of our sakes, that it doesn’t come to that.”

Skye shook her head vehemently. “That’s unbelievable. She’s your friend, used to be your wife. How could she just kill you? I couldn’t do it.”

“Which is why I didn’t ask you. It’s not something either of us take lightly, and she won’t do it unless absolutely necessary, if I become a danger to others. Hopefully that won’t happen.”

“Hopefully,” Skye echoed softly, a faraway look in her eyes.

Coulson pushed a button on his desk, revealing the hidden panel where the carvings were. “Since you know everything, you might as well see what I’ve been up to. Maybe it’ll help.”

~ ~ ~ 

Hunter watched as Fitz paced the floor restlessly. “You’re going to wear a hole in the ruddy carpet, mate,” he said. “Sit down and relax for a change.”

“I can’t. Where is she? I don’t understand why she wouldn’t tell me why she was leaving and hasn’t called to check in. It’s not like her.”

“Simmons?”

“Yes.” Fitz stopped and pierced him with an angry glare. “She’s been gone two weeks and already you’re forgetting her. It’s despicable.”

“Chill out. Maybe she just needed to get away.” _From you_ , he thought. “She’s young and pretty... and personable, unlike some I could mentioned around here. Maybe she wanted to spend some time away from the crazy here and enjoy some real living.”

A voice came from across the room. “Are you saying this isn’t living?”

He looked over at Skye, sitting at the table working. “I’m just saying it gets to be too much after a while. Being stuck together with the same people, living together and working together and never being able to go out and do anything fun. It gets claustrophobic.”

“You tired of us already?” May said dryly. “The door’s over there. No one’s making you stay.”

Hunter sighed dramatically. “I’m always misunderstood.”

“Is that the excuse you gave when your ex divorced you? You were misunderstood?”

Hunter glared at Mack, who was trying somewhat unsuccessfully to hold back a grin. “She was a demon hell-beast. Spawn of satan. She did me a favour, cutting me loose.”

Coulson, entering the room in time to hear the last few comments, met May’s eyes and bit his lip to keep from smiling. She almost grinned back but carefully schooled her face back to its usual dispassionate look. 

“So where is she?” Fitz continued on, as though the conversation hadn’t taken an abrupt detour. “Why won’t she answer my calls?”

“Let it go, mate,” Hunter advised. “Sometimes people come into your life and then they leave again. Not everyone is meant to be friends for life. Maybe she was ready to move on.”

Fitz shook his head. “Not her. Not Gemma. We’ve been friends forever and we’ll always be friends.”

Hunter sighed and walked over to join Mack on the couch. “Whatever.”

May rose and walked over to Coulson. “I really need to get out of here,” she murmured. “I feel a killing urge coming on.”

He leaned in close, putting his lips right beside her ear. “Perhaps now would be a good time for that date.”

She met his eyes. “Yes. Now.”

“Head up to the door,” he whispered. “I’ll take care of it.”

~ ~ ~ 

Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as the search drew closer to her workstation. 

“I feel sorry for anyone who dares double cross Hydra,” her coworker at the desk next to her murmured. “Do you know what they do to traitors?” He shuddered. 

Simmons shuddered right along with him. She knew.

“I just hope they find whoever it is quickly so we can get back to work.”

“You like work so much?”

“Oh well, you know, I enjoy this kind of work. Science.” She smiled.

“You don’t have anything else, do you?” he asked slowly. “Nothing to go home to.”

Simmons shrugged. “Not really.”

“It’s okay. I know how you feel.” He smiled at her hopefully and inside she cringed. _Not the time to be fending off potential suitors!_

She made it through the search safely but her feeling of general unease was growing. It was only a matter of time before she slipped up and was found out. She trusted Coulson had a plan but being the type A personality she was, it disturbed her not to know what it was.

~ ~ ~ 

The silence between them as they drove was not quite comfortable. Coulson had had a feeling that would be the case, but he hoped they’d manage to relax back into something companionable once they were away from work.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see when we get there.”

She gave him a sidelong glance. “You need to play coy with me?”

“No, just having some fun.” He smirked. “That’s all part of this, right? Us getting away and having some fun for a change.”

“I don’t remember how to have fun.”

“As I recall, you weren’t big on fun when you first came out of the Academy either. It wasn’t until we began working together that you loosened up and began to be a real prankster.”

“Funny, I remember it differently.”

“Well, one of us is right.”

Now it was May’s turn to smirk. “Or neither of us is.”

“We’re not _that_ old, are we?”

“Some days I feel like it.”

He looked over at her briefly. “Well let’s make sure today isn’t one of those days.”

Half a glass of wine and some soft jazz later, May had to admit she was definitely feeling looser, more relaxed, and younger. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

“Everything okay?”

“Just doing a little breathing. Helps me let go of the stress.”

“You can do your meditative breathing back at the Playground. I have something a little more physical in mind to relieve the tension.”

She opened her eyes. “Oh?”

“Dance with me?” He held out a hand.

She studied him for a long moment while taking a sip of wine. Then she put her hand in his and let him lead her to the dance floor. 

They began the dance like they had on the mission, proper ballroom dancing format, but the electricity between them sparked and caught almost immediately and by the end of the song there was no space between them. 

“Feeling more relaxed?” he whispered, mouth close to her ear.

“Definitely.”

“Good.” He pulled her a fraction closer and drew in a deep breath. Her hair tickled his nose. “How come you always smell so good?”

“Do I?”

He leaned in closer and took another breath. Closing his eyes, he shut out everything but the two of them swaying to the music. Gradually he became aware of her heart beating against his, pounding much faster than their minimal movement would account for.

He desperately wanted to kiss her; the soft skin on her neck below her ear, working his way across her jawbone and up to her lips … but he stopped himself. Yes, May wanted this or she wouldn’t be here, but he knew she hated to be pressured. He had to let her make the next move or risk her pulling away and losing this chance to get her back.

“You don’t look half bad either.” He pulled back and smiled into her eyes. 

“High praise indeed,” May said dryly, trying to slow her racing heart.

“Black leather suits you.”

“Black leather suits everyone.”

“No one else wears it like you.”

A slow smile spread across her face. “Good. I don’t just wear it because it’s comfortable.”

“If you’re wearing it to get my attention, then let me tell you, you’ve got it.”

“Good. Now let’s see if I can keep it.”

The words came out of nowhere before he could stop them. “Would it be inappropriate for me to tell you there’s a part of me that has never stopped thinking about you?”

Her eyes darkened as the smile turned serious. “A part?”

“A big part.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I never wanted to let you go, May-Lin.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because I thought it was what you wanted.”

“Not wanted. Needed. I did what I thought was best for both of us.”

“Did it turn out to be the right decision?”

She shrugged. “I think so. It’s hard to tell right from wrong sometimes.”

He smirked. “Shades of grey.”

“The world is nothing but grey these days. At the time I was pretty sure I was crazy, letting you go, but you know what they say about setting what you love free.”

Coulson let go of her hand and put that arm around her, pulling her closer with both arms. “Don’t be trying it again now that I’m back because this time I’m not letting you go.”

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

“Hello?”

“Agent Coulson.”

He’d know that voice anywhere, the smooth silk of it. Just hearing her say his name raised hackles on the back of his neck and cooled his blood several degrees.

“Raina. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“Oh it’s not personal, I assure you. You have something I want.”

“And what makes you think I’ll give it to you?”

“I have something you want.”

He bit his lip. “I’m listening.”

“The obelisk.”

His breath caught. “You have it?”

“I can get it, but to do so I need something from you.”

 _There’s always a catch_. “What’s that?”

“Skye.”

“Not gonna happen. She’s not for sale at any price.”

“I’m not buying, just borrowing. The man who can get me the obelisk wants to see her.”

“And who would he be?”

There was a pause - likely a dramatic one, knowing her. “Skye’s father.”

“No deal.”

“Mr. Coulson,” she chided. “You wouldn’t stand between a father and daughter, would you?”

“I have no proof this man you speak of is her father. _I_ could say I’m her father but that wouldn’t make it true.”

“I have proof. Meet me and I’ll show it to you.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Smart man. I don’t really trust you either, but as I see it we have to work together to get what we both want.”

“And what exactly is it you get out of this deal?” Coulson asked. “I get the obelisk, Skye’s father gets his daughter, and you get … “

“I get to live.”

“Well, he sounds like a lovely person. Just the sort of man I want to turn Skye over to.”

“I’m sure he can be, but considering his daugher was taken from him as a mere babe and his wife was murdered, he’s a little touchy on the subject of family.”

“Fine. We’ll meet then. A public place.”

“Santa Lucia restaurant on Fifth. Eight o’clock. Come alone.”

“Ditto.”

He hung up the phone and sighed. “This isn’t going to be pretty,” he murmured aloud. Time to get May here to make a plan. He was definitely going to need her help executing it.

~ ~ ~ 

“You’re not seriously going to trade her, are you?” May demanded.

Coulson gave her a withering look. “You know me better than that. Raina’s smart. She’s not going to give anything away over the phone. I need to see her face-to-face to get more information from her and figure out exactly what she’s up to.”

“You’re not going in alone.”

He nodded, acknowledging her assertion. “You’ll take a team in ahead of me, blend in. Put one up front with me and two hidden for backup. There’s one other thing we need to do: activate Bobbi. Raina’s worked with Hydra before and I wouldn’t bet that she isn’t with them again. I’m not chancing Simmons’ life if I don’t cooperate.”

“Which you won’t.”

“Which I won’t. Bobbi needs to be ready to execute at our signal.”

“I’m on it. I’ll have Simmons’ backup ready and waiting during the meet.”

Coulson gave a small smile. “I wish I could be there to see the maiden flight of the cloaked ship.”

“ _You_ wish? I’m the pilot around here and I’ll likely be stuck in a back room, not even getting to watch the ground action play out.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have your chance to fly her, and I’ll be there when you do.”

May smiled back. “Good.”

~ ~ ~ 

“Agent Coulson.” Raina smiled coquettishly at him.

He smiled politely. “Glass of wine?”

“Please, that would be lovely.”

He poured two glasses. “There’s no reason we can’t be civil.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. I have to admit I was a little afraid you wouldn’t show after what I did to you.”

He shrugged and sat. “Bygones. I’ve never been one to hold grudges.”

“Then you’re willing to deal with me.”

Coulson took a slow sip of wine, then leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “Let’s hear your terms.”

“You let me take Skye to meet her father. He knows who has the obelisk and he’ll get it for me when I bring him his daughter.”

“And then you’ll just give it to me?”

“Yes.”

~ ~ ~ 

“What?” Skye’s eyes widened and she straightened up. “My father? My father’s dead. How can he be alive?”

“Take it easy,” May cautioned. “Keep it together. Focus on the mission.”

“But if she knows my father … “

“Trust Coulson, Skye. If he is alive, we’ll find him and get some answers.”

~ ~ ~ 

“No.”

“No? You can’t just say no.”

“I can’t? Just watch me.”

Raina leaned forward, brows drawn together. “Please. You don’t understand. He’ll kill me if I don’t bring her.”

“Not my problem. Better you than her.”

She studied him for a moment through narrowed eyes. He caught the change from innocent desperation to calculated menace in them and knew she was acting, that he’d been right to put all the safeguards in place for this meeting. 

She pulled out a phone and scrolled through some pictures. “You might want to rethink that answer, Agent Coulson. If you don’t cooperate, I’ll out Simmons. You know what Hydra will do to her when they find out she’s Shield.”

He nodded. 

“So you’ll hand her over.”

“No.”

She slammed her hand on the table, momentarily attracting the attention of the other diners. “Are you testing me? I’ll do it. I promise you.”

“I know.” He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Agent Coulson - “

“The answer is still no,” he interrupted, “and I believe this meeting is at an end.” He stood and drained the last of his wine. 

“You’re going to be sorry.” She hit send. “It’s done and now she’ll be killed because of you. Can you live with that?”

~ ~ ~ 

“No!” Skye threw herself towards the door. 

May intercepted and pushed her against the wall. “Stand down!” Skye continued to struggle. “I said stand down!”

“I can’t let her die because of me!”

“Trust Coulson. He has a plan.”

~ ~ ~ 

An alarm began to sound and Simmons’ heart began pounding along with it. Was this it? Had she been found out? Suddenly all the computer screens in the lab flickered and the same picture appeared on all of them - she herself writing her memo to Coulson on the pad she’d thrown out. 

She was dead now. No question about it. She gulped and closed her eyes. _Please make it quick._

When she opened them, three people were striding purposefully toward her; two uniformed security flanking the most formidable amazon warrior woman Simmons had ever seen. _Oh Lord, this is it!_

“Agent Simmons.”

She stood. “Yes?” she squeaked.

“Come with us.”

The woman swung a pair of sticks at her sides and Simmons quaked inside. She began walking, the three of them following behind.

“You two stay here and question the others.”

“Commander?”

“She may have associates undercover with her. I’ll take her to Whitehall.”

Simmons wasn’t quite sure how she was able to walk, her legs were shaking so hard. She continued down the hallway, the woman’s feet clicking behind her. “Where are we going?”

“Turn in here.”

Simmons half turned around, question on her face.

“Coulson sent me,” she said softly but firmly. “If you want to live, do exactly as I say.”

~ ~ ~ 

“Follow her.” Coulson’s order came through crisp and clear. 

“On it.” May pulled Skye along with her out the back door of the kitchen. She stopped for a moment, looking both ways to get her bearings, and when she turned back Skye had disappeared. “Dammit! Skye’s gone.”

“Keep following Raina,” Coulson answered. “I’ll find Skye.”

“Copy that.”

May knew her first priority was the mission, but inside she wanted to ditch it and find her protege. If anything happened to that headstrong girl … 

Her search took her to the front door of a dingy flophouse just down the road from the restaurant. She entered cautiously, weapon drawn, but found the place empty. Recently deserted too - there were signs someone had packed hastily, and coffee in a mug on the table was still warm. 

She raised her weapon again, hearing noises, but it was just the others, having joined her through the back entrance. “Skye! Thank god. Don’t run off like that without telling us - “ May stopped at the pained look on the younger woman’s face. “What is it?”

Skye held out the framed picture she’d been staring at. “My father was here. He lived here.”

May studied the photo, her own heart constricting in sympathy. She met Coulson’s eyes. 

“May.”

She nodded, knowing exactly what he wanted, taking Hunter with her to finish searching the premises and surrounding perimeter. 

“Hey.” Coulson’s tone was gentle. “Are you okay?”

Skye lifted her eyes to him. “He was here. _Just now._ We just missed him. My father.”

“I know.” He walked toward her and enfolded her in his arms, seeing her vulnerability too close to the surface and knowing she was about to break down. “You’ve had a rough day. Come here.”

May saw them as she passed the room again. She knew exactly how Skye felt, folded into those arms. For a man who worked so hard to be professional and impersonal, his touch always gave warmth and comfort. It only confirmed her unshakeable belief that he was indeed the right man for this job. He knew people, knew how to handle them and what they needed. 

Skye was lucky to have him. They all were.

~ ~ ~ 

“Simmons!” Skye stepped forward to embrace the other woman.

“It’s good to be back. I’ve missed you all.” 

May watched as the rest of the group circled her, all talking animatedly, the mood in the room happy. She smiled to herself, seeing the “family” back together, knowing they’d formed a strong bond in the time they’d been together. Even Tripp, who hadn’t been with them long, was a part of the group. Only she, Coulson and the new agent Bobbi Morse, stood apart from the others. 

Hunter entered the room then and everything changed. He caught sight of Bobbi and suddenly tension sliced through the room. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.

Bobbi smirked. “Nice suit.”

“That’s it? We haven’t seen each other in over a year and you’re leading with that?”

“Well it is a nice suit. You’re looking good, Hunter.”

“Oh don’t you start that with me … “

Tripp took a couple of steps back to lean in towards May. “What’s going on?” he whispered.

“You know that ex wife Hunter keeps telling stories about?”

“Yeah, the she-devil.”

May nodded her head at Bobbi, smirking. 

Tripp’s eyebrows rose comically. “Oh boy. This is going to be fun.”

~ ~ ~ 

She sat at the desk, writing her report, when Skye wandered into Coulson’s office, plunking herself down on the other side of it. “You knew, didn’t you?”

May’s eyes rose from the page. “Knew what?”

“Knew that Simmons was undercover in Hydra.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell the rest of us?”

“It was classified.”

“Classified. I would think the agents working the case would get to be privy to “classified” information.”

May put down her pen and sat back, sighing. “I understand your frustration Skye, but _you_ have to understand that there are times when the less people in the know is better. You get information when and if you need it; not all agents know everything that’s going on.”

“Funny, you seem to know everything.”

“Seem is the operative word there. Coulson is the only one who knows everything around here. Sometimes he needs someone to talk to, to bounce ideas off of, or to help work out the details of an op. He uses me for that - I’ve been in Shield longer than anyone else here, and since Phil and I have known one another a long time and worked together before, we make a good team.”

“I won’t dispute that, but it’s frustrating, not knowing.”

May almost smiled. “I know it is. Believe me, I was there once too. But you have to realize it takes time and patience to work your way up to a place where you’re trusted with sensitive information. You have to earn it Skye, and you will. You’re doing great so far out in the field, and I’m proud of you.”

A lump closed her throat and Skye felt tears prickle the backs of her eyes. May never gave compliments.

Ever. 

She swallowed the lump and stood up. “I’ll let you get back to work,” she said huskily. 

May smiled sadly as the door closed behind her. She was proud of Skye, of the girl’s stubbornness and determination to succeed. Life was about to get really hard for her though, and she hoped Skye had the emotional strength to get through it. What was coming was the sort of thing that could make or break a person and she desperately hoped Skye wouldn’t break the way she had.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I'm glad so many of you are enjoying exploring these characters beyond the bounds of the TV show. Thank you for your comments and kudos and keep them coming!
> 
> The advent season is upon is and my life is about to get crazy busy, so my writing will be a little more erratic and I probably won't be able to post once a week regularly over the holidays -- please be patient, I will continue as I can and will definitely NOT be dropping this. After the next two episodes, SHIELD is off for a few months, and while I'm sad about that, it'll be nice to have time for me to catch up as it were, and be ready for the back half of the season, airing in spring. 
> 
> As always, spoilers for any and all aired episodes, though I'm pretty much working a few episodes behind now. I go from my memories and so some of the events and dialogue will be the same or similar to what aired, some things will be completely different. I hope you continue to enjoy both. :)


	19. Chapter 19

_As the last notes of the song sounded, he leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Thank you for the dance.”_

_“Thank you for the date.” Her body hummed in anticipation, primed by the closeness of him and the touch of his lips on her skin, so fondly remembered, so long desired._

_Their eyes burned, locked together in a solitary dance. The music started up and couples around them began to dance, but they stood frozen, a private and silent dialogue happening to music only they could hear._

_He broke the spell, pulling her into his arms again and covering her lips with his. Everything tingled and sparked inside her and May felt as though her legs would collapse like jelly, leaving her nothing but a puddle on the dance floor._

_His arms, deceptively strong, held her steady, wrapping around her like a blanket; enfolding her, encircling her, warming her from the inside out, melting the ice she’d encased herself in to reveal the warmth and love she kept hidden at the centre._

_“Phil,” she whispered, breathless, as the kiss ended._

_“May-Lin.” He rested his forehead against hers, even as their bodies began to sway to the music. “I wish I could take you home and have my way with you,” he murmured._

_“Let’s go.”_

_“Are you serious?”_

_“Never been more serious in my life. I’m yours Phil, I always have been and I always will be.”_

May woke suddenly. Her mind was filled with disquieting thoughts, her heart pounding with a feeling she couldn’t quite identify. It wasn’t the dream; she’d dreamt of Coulson on and off over the years, some of those dreams having explicitly followed through to their conclusion, so she knew _that_ pounding of her heart very familiarly. No, this was a feeling almost akin to dread and she had no idea what was causing it.

Slipping into sweats, she left her room and began a sweep of the base. It was something she did every night before retiring and every morning upon waking, knowing that even the best security in the world couldn’t always keep the bad guys out. She always felt better, safer for the comforting ritual, knowing she’d been in every room and seen for herself that the Playground was secure, particularly when Coulson was away and she was in charge.

This time she couldn’t shake the feeling though, and if anything it only grew stronger as she headed down into the containment area to check on the prisoners. They were all there - Ward, Mike Peterson and the man they knew as The Phantom. He came and went and wreaked havoc without anyone ever seeing him, as formidable an enemy as any they’d faced. It had only been Skye’s exceptionally clever digital detective work that had given them alone his real identity, and it was a real coup for their side that they’d caught him before Hydra had had a chance to find him and mold him into their own particular brand of assassin.

“May. What are you doing up at this hour?”

She became aware that she was now in the living quarters area again and didn’t remember having come up from ‘the basement’. She turned around slowly to face Coulson, who stood in the hallway in his pajamas.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said carefully, one arm slowly reaching around behind her.

“Me neither. I woke up with this strange feeling that something was wrong and I just can’t shake it.”

She moved quickly then, the gun drawn and pointed at his head in an instant.

“May, what are you doing?”

She said nothing.

“What the hell is going on?” He became more agitated. “Put the gun down. Now.”

“Can’t.” A spasm of pain crossed her face.

He took a step closer, looked deeper into her eyes. “May, for god’s sake, put the gun down.”

“Can’t.” Another spasm of pain, then her eyes dulled and her face grew solemn and hard.

If ever Phil Coulson had seen someone under the influence of mind control, this was it. She was fighting it and being punished for doing so. His heart wrenched painfully. “Please, May, put the gun down. You don’t want to kill me. I know you don’t.”

She removed the safety catch and cocked it, ready to fire. Her finger trembled on the trigger and a lone tear ran down her cheek.

Tripp appeared in his bedroom doorway, gun pointed at May. “Put the gun down, Agent May, or I will shoot you.”

“No.” Her eyes slid over to him briefly, then came back to focus on Coulson. “Phil.” Another tear spilt down her cheek. “Drop,” she whispered, face contorting in agony.

As he hit the floor she fired, the bullet lodging itself in the brick wall at the end of the corridor.

“Don’t shoot her!” Coulson yelled, but it was too late. Tripp had already fired and May collapsed to the ground heavily, gun skittering away.

Coulson sprang up and raced for her at the same moment Tripp did. He kicked the gun farther away and knelt beside her. “May!”

The sound of gunfire had woken the others and brought them running. Simmons noted the bloody figure on the ground and ran directly to May, checking her vitals and the bleeding wound. 

“It’s a through and through, just under the collarbone. She’ll be okay once we stop the bleeding.”

Coulson gave a sigh of relief and glanced up at Tripp. “I wasn’t aiming to kill, just to stop her from hurting you.” At Coulson’s glare Tripp shrugged. “I didn’t want to risk trying without a weapon. She’s too good, and your life was on the line.”

“It wasn’t her.”

“Sir, I saw her - “

“I know what you saw Tripp, but May wasn’t in control of what she was doing. Someone else was. Her eyes - “ He shuddered at the blank look he’d seen in them. That definitely hadn’t been her. However stoic she was able to make the rest of her face, her eyes never lied. They were always alive, vivacious, and he could nearly read her every thought in them. 

“Someone help me get her to the lab,” Simmons broke in urgently. “She needs medical care now.” 

Many pairs of hands helped lift and carry her there gently, where Simmons shooed them all away so she could work. Voices raised, questioning, wondering, but Coulson felt too overwhelmed to deal with their queries. “I need a few minutes,” he said, holding his hand up for silence. “I’m not sure what just happened but I think things are okay for the moment. Hunter, stay by the lab and keep an eye on things. If anything happens, come and get me, and whatever you do, do not use lethal force on Agent May. Understood?”

“Understood.”

Coulson headed up to his office, so lost in his own thought he didn’t hear the quiet feet padding behind him until he turned to shut the door.

“What happened back there?”

He met Skye’s gaze. “Someone tried to kill me.”

“ _May_ tried to kill you.”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t her.”

“I hate to be the one to remind you, but you did authorize her to kill you, remember?”

“If I went crazy. Do I look like I’ve crossed the line?” His eyes sparked angrily. “I know it was May holding the gun but she wasn’t the one controlling her actions.”

“How can you know that?”

“I know Melinda May, Skye. Better than anyone. I know the way she thinks, I know the way she acts. If things do go south and I end up like Garrett, she’ll do everything she can short of killing me - that will be an absolute last resort for her.”

“You can’t know someone so well that you know what they’re thinking and what they’ll do.”

“I can and I do,” he snapped. “Just because you haven’t made the kind of connection we have with anyone doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.”

Skye walked over to the window and stared out at the stars, folding her arms across her chest. “Okay, suppose we accept that you know May well enough to know she wasn’t acting of her own volition.” She turned to face him as he joined her at the window. “Who’s behind this and how did they control her mind to get her to do something that’s against her will? Who has the ability to control people’s minds like that?”

The light dawned in both of their eyes simultaneously. 

“Jimmy!” Coulson raced over to his desk and pressed buttons, bringing up the security feed from the detention cells. “Dammit! He’s gone.”

“Outer security hasn’t been tripped,” Skye informed him, checking on the computer. 

“Unless he got May to let him out.”

“ - or rifled through her brain to get the code,” she interrupted, hastily typing. “No, the outer security hasn’t been breached or taken offline all night.” Their eyes met. “Which means he’s still here.”

Coulson’s face hardened. “And able to make any one of us do anything he wants.”

~ ~ ~ 

“This is going to hurt.” Simmons half smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry I don’t have time to freeze it - I need to get the artery clamped now.”

“Just do it,” May said through clenched teeth. Between the blood loss and the pain, the world was beginning to grey and she was afraid she wasn’t going to be able to hold onto consciousness much longer. Not that she was sure she wanted to; all she could see in her mind’s eye was she, herself, standing with a gun pointed at Coulson’s head and shooting. Over and over.

She had no memory of having acquired the gun nor any idea what she’d been about to do, but the guilt at having nearly killed him was already eating at her and pulling her towards that all-too familiar morass she’d lived in after Bahrain. 

It terrified her.

Agonizing pain banished all thought then, and May clenched her jaw even tighter, just trying to hold on and brave through it. Some time later sharpness returned and she became aware of Simmons standing in front of her.

“There. All sewn up nearly as good as new. I’ll just give you a shot of morphine to help with the pain, and we’ll put the arm in a sling to make sure it doesn’t move while it’s healing.” She puttered around a bit and returned with a needle. “So what happened out there? How did you manage to get shot?”

May just glared at her.

“Okay, not ready to talk just yet. I’ll leave you be for a few minutes while I let Coulson know how you’re doing.”

~ ~ ~ 

“How’s she doing?” Hunter asked as she exited the lab.

“She’ll be fine. Not overly talkative about what happened - “

“I’d guess not, considering she had a gun pointed at Coulson’s head and tried to kill him,” he said dryly.

“Oh my!”

“He’s got me on protective detail here to make sure she doesn’t do it again.”

“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for what happened - “

A hooded figure stepped into view. “There is,” he whispered, voice husky and unrecognizable. He held up a hand. “You two will remain right here, guarding agent May while I take care of business.”

Simmons’ eyes met Hunter’s sadly. Not only could she not move, she couldn’t even speak. He apparently couldn’t either and so they stood in silence, like statues, unable to warn their colleagues and friends of the danger.

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson raced down the stairs with Skye in tow when he caught sight of the hooded figure and abruptly stopped. “Jimmy,” he called out.

“That’s not my name anymore.”

“Jimmy McMillan,” Skye said from behind him.

Jimmy lifted an arm. “Hold your tongue, woman. Jimmy McMillan is no more. I am The Phantom now. A name you gave me, but I like it and will keep it.”

Struck dumb, Skye was unable to move or speak. Frustration bubbled inside her like molten lava.

“Come on Jimmy,” Coulson coaxed, testing his arms and finding them useless. “Leave her alone. She’s barely more than a girl. It’s me you want anyway, isn’t it?”

“Yes, and I will have you, but I think I will enjoy playing with your friends first. I find it … amusing.”

“Well I don’t, and I found it very unamusing that you had May try to kill me,” he said dryly.

“You didn’t enjoy the irony in that? I did, very much so. She’s a fascinating woman, Melinda May. Her mind is deliciously complex. Her resolve is hard as steel and was tough to crack, yet she’s got such a soft spot for you. What is it about you that makes her weak I wonder? I’d like to spend some more time in there taking apart her brain to figure out how she works.”

“You stay away from her,” Coulson snapped. 

“Or what? How are you going to stop me? Go ahead and try.”

Coulson struggled to move his arms but to no avail. They were firmly frozen in place, as were his legs.

“There’s nothing any of you can do to stop me. I’ve got you all and I can make you do anything I want.” A slow, nasty smile spread across his face. “I have many plans for you, Agent Coulson, starting with watching you kill the woman you love. I’m really going to enjoy that. Will you be as strong as her and resist like she did, or will you wilt like a dying flower and bend to my every whim? I’m so looking forward to watching you.”

A pair of knives sliced into his shoulders and another came straight through his heart from the back. His eyes opened wide at the sight of the dagger protruding through his chest, and he made a weak, mewling sound before collapsing onto the ground in a rapidly expanding pool of his own blood.

Bobbi Morse stood behind him. “Sorry you’ll never get to find out.”

Coulson rolled his shoulders and shook his arms to ease out the tension.

“Thank god!” Skye jumped forwards past him towards Bobbi. “How on earth did you do that?”

“I’ve been taught how to resist mind probing.” She smirked. “It’s come in handy a few times when people thought they could torture information out of me.”

“Remind me to get you to give us all lessons later, but for now let’s check the rest of the base and make sure everyone else is okay.” Coulson headed straight for the lab.

“Come on. “ Bobbi nodded at Skye. 

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson heaved a sigh of relief once everyone was accounted for. They’d all been frozen in place; no doubt waiting their turns once Jimmy had done with his mental games. A part of him wished Bobbi hadn’t killed him, as now the questions swirling in his mind would likely never get answered. He understood why she hadn’t hesitated. Jimmy had proven himself far too dangerous for them to keep here. 

“Sorry about that boss,” Bobbi said, joining him. 

“No need to be sorry. It was a good call. You likely saved all of us.” His brow furrowed. “How did you learn to keep him out of your mind? That was impressive.”

She tossed her hair. “You probably don’t want to know.”

He sensed it was a troubling story and one she didn’t want to tell. “Actually I do, but we’ll save it for another time. Right now I need to talk to May.”

“Go easy on her. It wasn’t her fault.”

“I don’t blame her for what happened.”

“She’ll blame herself.” Bobbi nodded knowingly. “It’s going to be hard for her to accept what she tried to do to you.”

“I know,” he said sadly. “That’s why I need to talk to her about it.”

She walked a few steps and then turned back. “Well, if she finds it hard to face you and needs someone else to talk to, let me know. She and I have worked together before and I consider her a friend.”

He nodded. “Good. She needs friends.” More than she realized. He knew what May was feeling right now and had seen what that kind of guilt did to her, and he didn’t want to see her go down that road again.

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope all of you have had a fantastic holiday, wherever and whatever you celebrate! I did, and even managed to find a wee bit of time to write over the last few weeks. 
> 
> Just to clarify in case anyone is a little confused, I made up Jimmy McMillan, the gifted, he never appeared anywhere in the show. I do like to make up my own parts to the story along with using bits and pieces of actual aired episodes, and sometimes that includes making up new characters. I hope I didn't lose anyone because of it. 
> 
> As always, spoilers for any and all aired episodes. The characters belong to whomever created them and owns the rights to them; I'm merely playing in their sandbox for a while because I adore these characters and their story and can't get enough of them on screen (especially while they're on hiatus!). 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the next instalment - it's a bit shorter than the others but it's been so long since I posted I thought it was time. :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She was already struggling off the examination table when he walked in.

“May.” She turned to face him. “You should rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“You were shot, May. Take time to heal.”

“I’ll be fine,” she came back sharply, trying to walk past him.

He would have none of that though, and grabbed her good arm to stop her. “Melinda.”

“Phil.”

“Look at me.”

She did as bidden, knowing he wouldn’t quit until she did. He saw exactly what he expected to see in her eyes; a closed darkness that he recognized.

“Don’t let it get to you,” he said softly, rubbing her arm.

“I nearly killed you. How can it not get to me?”

“It wasn’t you. Jimmy was messing with all of our minds.”

“But I’m the one who pulled the trigger.” The veil lifted momentarily and he saw the misery in her eyes. 

“He was in all of our minds, May. He was a sick bastard who thought it would be amusing to have us hurt one another.” At her querying look, he nodded. “After we took you to the lab, he came to find me and told me he planned to make me kill you since you didn’t get the job done.”

“Phil.” Her eyes filled with pain.

“You can’t let a sick twisted mind like that drag you down,” he said gently. “Get some rest and let that shoulder heal. I need you so you have to get better quickly.”

“I need to keep working, Phil. I need to keep my mind occupied so I don’t think.”

“I understand.” And he did. His words to her were wise ones but he wasn’t sure he himself could follow them. Jimmy’s words and his subsequent thoughts about hurting May had rattled him more than he cared to admit. “At least go back to bed and rest for what’s left of the night.” When she made no move, he tightened his grip on her arm. “Let’s go.”

She looked at him through slitted eyes.

“Don’t make me make it an order, May.”

~ ~ ~ 

Mack sat at the table, shaking his head. “What have we signed ourselves up for, Hunter? This place is crazy.”

“Welcome to the world of Shield, my friend. The place where nothing makes sense and people are always trying to kill you.”

“Enemies I expect, but friendlies? I thought Agent May and the Director were friends.”

“They are.” Skye plunked herself down at the table with them. “Close friends.”

“So what happened back there?”

“Jimmy McMillan, aka The Phantom, happened.”

“And he is … “

“Was,” she corrected. “A gifted with the ability to control minds.”

“Gifted?”

Hunter answered for her. “Someone with a gift or ability that enables them to do extraordinary things.”

“Like ESP?”

“Sometimes, but often much more dangerous.” Skye grimaced. “It’s funny how when people figure out they can do something others can’t it gives them a god complex.”

“And you thought keeping him here was a good idea?”

“We thought we had him contained. Apparently walls and forcefields are no match for crazy minds powers.” Skye shrugged. “We screw up sometimes too.”

Bobbi walked into the room then, diverting the conversation. “Hunter, can I speak with you?”

“Go ahead.”

She crossed her arms and growled just audibly. “I meant alone.”

He got up and began walking behind her as they left the room. “If you’re going to try to find a way to blame me for this - “

“Shut up. Just shut up.” She turned around and backed him up against one of the vans in the hangar. “Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.”

Their bodies tangled, lips frenzied as hands strove to remove clothing. Hunter opened the door to the vehicle and pushed her in, shutting it behind the two of them, and resuming ripping her clothes off. 

Back in the dining area, Skye and Mack sat in silence for a minute after they’d left. 

“What’s the deal with them?” she asked.

“You don’t want to know.”

“I really do.”

“They are the very definition of dysfunctional.”

“In what way?” Skye rested her face in her hands, elbows on the table, anticipating a juicy story.

“They can’t keep their hands off one another - I’d lay you odds they’re doing the dirty right now.”

“So what’s wrong with that?”

“They can’t stand one another. I’ve known them both for years. They’ve been together and apart half a dozen times - even been married once - “

“ _She’s_ the evil ex-wife?”

Mack nodded. “Uh huh. They can’t live together yet they can’t stand being apart. It’s crazy.”

“Welcome to the crazy world of Shield.” 

“Why do people keep saying that to me?”

She grinned. “Because it’s true.”

Mack took his head into his hands. “What have I gotten myself into?”

“I know it’s a little wacky and hard to get used to at first, but they’re good people, Mack. They’ll have your back, no matter what.”

He just nodded.

“Hey, it’s not even 4am. I’m going to head back to bed. You should get some more rest too.” She grinned mischeviously. “You never know what kind of crazy will come our way later today.”

“Thanks. Thanks for that.”

~ ~ ~ 

“You don’t have to stick around and tuck me in.”

“Indulge me.”

May sat on the edge of the bed, using her good arm to push the covers back and wincing as pain shot through her neck and shoulder.

Coulson took the covers from her gently. “Let me help.”

She met his eyes hotly. His remained cool and steady. Fire and ice; just as they’d always been. She wasn’t always fire and he wasn’t always ice, but they were always polar opposites, meeting in the middle and taming one another’s rough edges. He appreciated the passion she kept restrained, hidden from most, making her one of the most disciplined people he’d ever known. One of the most proud too; she hated asking for or admitting she needed help. 

“Lay down, May-Lin.”

She did as bidden without complaint but her eyes shone with spirit and passion and he knew her acquiescence didn’t mean she was giving in. He pulled the covers over her and laid down beside her on top of them. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Staying here to make sure you rest. I could sit on the floor but I’m really getting too old for that and besides, I’m still tired. Close your eyes and try to get some sleep and I’ll do the same.”

“Phil - “ she began.

“I know you don’t like being taken care of and I know you want to be by yourself right now, but you’re in no shape to argue with me. Do as I say now and we’ll argue about it later when you’re feeling stronger.”

She glared at him for a long moment then struggled to roll over, turning her back to him wordlessly.

Coulson smiled to himself. It was only one small battle he’d won but he’d take any victory he could, given the circumstances.

~ ~ ~ 

Simmons puttered around the lab after they’d all gone back to bed for a few more hours’ sleep. Sleep or rest, whatever they were up to. She didn’t know or care, just knew she was too wound up to rest now. She tidied and rearranged, wishing she had company but not wanting to wake anyone.

“Don’t do that.”

She whipped around quickly, surprised. Fitz stood in the doorway. “Oh you startled me!”

“Don’t move those.” He gestured at the test tubes in her hand. “I put them there and I won’t be able to find them if you move them.”

She stood still for a moment, stunned, and then returned them to where they’d been before. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He shifted uncomfortably. “What are you doing?”

She gestured somewhat vaguely. “Just … reorganizing and tidying I guess.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why do you need to change things, Gemma?”

A hot flush began to creep up her neck. “I don’t know. I wasn’t changing anything, really, just tidying up. That’s all.”

“You’re changing the lab. My lab.”

“It’s mine too.” Temper caused the flush to deepen. 

“It was. You left.”

“I didn’t leave, Fitz, I was on assignment.”

“You didn’t tell me. You left and didn’t even tell me what was going on.”

His accusatory tone didn’t sit well with her. “I wasn’t _allowed_ to tell anyone. Why are you being such a jerk about this Fitz? It was a classified mission and no one knew.”

“That’s beside the point.” He took two steps closer. “You lied to me, right to my face. I’ve never lied to you Gemma and I never would. I thought you felt the same way about me, that our relationship was important enough for you to be honest with me.”

“I do - “

“Then you should have told me you were being sent on a mission. Even if you couldn’t tell me the details, you could have said it was classified and I wouldn’t have worried so. You shouldn’t have lied to me and then ignored me when I tried to contact you.” He swallowed hard. “That’s not what friends do.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” Tears filled her eyes as she stepped forward to him. “Can you forgive me?”

He took two steps back. “I’m trying.”

The tears wavered. “Please?”

“I’m working on it. If you could just leave the lab alone and stop messing around with it, it would help.”

“Fine. I’ll go.”

She felt his eyes boring hotly into her back all the way across the room and out the door, and while it wasn’t a new occurrence to have him watch her, the gaze felt much more uncomfortable and unwelcome than usual. 

The tears were already spilling down her cheeks by the time she reached her quarters.

~ ~ ~ 

May woke partially, groggy from both the meds and an interrupted night’s sleep, feeling warm and comfortable. Something warm surrounded her, enveloped her, and the scent it gave off was very familiar. She stirred, eyes still closed, and a hand stroked her back gently, sliding upwards and touching her hair. She moved suddenly and winced as pain lanced through her shoulder.

“Take it easy,” Coulson said softly as she opened her eyes and looked up at him. “Stay where you are, it’ll hurt less that way.”

“How exactly did I get on top of you?” she asked, arching her eyebrow.

“Beats me. I woke up and here you were.” He grinned. “I didn’t want to move you in case I hurt you. You were shot only a few hours ago.”

“Don’t remind me. It hurts like hell now that the morphine has worn off.”

“I won’t need to remind you to take it easy then, will I?”

“Touche.” She laid her head back down on his chest and listened his heart beat, slow and steady. 

“It’s good to feel the pain. When you don’t, that’s when you’re dead.”

“You should know.”

“As should you.”

She exhaled hard. “I try not to think about that.”

“Wise of you.”

Getting uncomfortable and crampy, she shifted position again, stretching her leg so that it lay across his bottom half. There was a definite bulge under it.

“Is that … “ she began, cheeks growing warm.

He cleared his throat and stroked his hand over her hair once more. “You’re a very beautiful woman, Melinda May, and I’d challenge any man to lay here with you on top of him and not feel something.”

May ran her hand slowly across his chest, feeling a twin warmth growing low in her belly as well as in her heart. She stopped at the scar and ran her finger across it gingerly. “I know how much you’ve suffered from what Fury did to you, but I can’t be sorry that he brought you back from the dead. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, and the thought that I nearly - “

“Stop that thought right there. Don’t say it, don’t even think it. _It wasn’t you._ You fought it, I could see it in your eyes, and you warned me in time so let’s just forget it happened and move on, okay?”

“I’ll try.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Well try harder.” His voice held a playful note. “Now we’re going to have to move you because besides having to get back to work and deal with the mess the night has brought us, I need to use the bathroom.”

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson looked at the group of people in front of him, feeling disappointment and guilt stab into his heart as surely as Loki’s staff had.

They looked no different now than they had when he’d first assembled them here at the Playground - disorganized, nervous, uncertain. A ragtag group of anxious people looking for leadership. The weeks they’d spent building something strong and solid had evaporated away in one night thanks to one bad decision on his part. He should have ordered Jimmy killed, not captured. 

He wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

“Okay people, listen up. I know we had a scare last night, a nasty reminder that we all have to watch our backs better. What happened with Jimmy is on me, I don’t blame anyone for being scared or for the way they reacted - “ he looked directly at Tripp, “ - we did what was necessary to control the threat and neutralize it. All we can do now is learn from the experience, and we need to learn quickly. Another dangerous prisoner has escaped - some of you know him, Grant Ward - and we have to get him back.”

“Alive or dead?” Hunter called out.

“Either.” Coulson’s mouth set grimly. “I’d prefer him alive for whatever intel and help he can give us against Hydra, but I know how dangerous he is and I’m not willing to trade any of your lives for his. When we find him, and we will, take whatever measures necessary to ensure your own safety to bring him in. If that means killing him, so be it.”

He took a moment to breathe and to look into everyone’s face in turn, seeing the beginnings of renewed hope. “We have work to do now. Anyone who isn’t on special assignment, and I’ll set those assignments momentarily, will be training with Agent Morse until further notice. Weapons, tactical, personal fitness and whatever other drills she sees fit to put you through. Simmons, prepare a med kit. If we do manage to take Ward alive we’ll need him sedated and secured. Mack and Hunter, make sure all of the vehicles are ready to go at a moment’s notice. Skye and Fitz, you’re to come with me to the tech center. I have a job for you. Everyone know where they’re supposed to be? Good. Let’s get moving.”

As everyone headed off to their respective assignments, May stood where she was and watched them. Coulson hadn’t given her a job and she needed to fix that. Arm in a sling notwithstanding, she needed to and was still able to work. She followed Coulson, Fitz and Skye into the tech room and stood out of the way, waiting.

“I need you to use your technical wizardry to locate Ward,” Coulson told them.

“Uh, he could be pretty much anywhere in the world by now. How are we supposed to do that?” Skye asked.

He smiled. “You’re the geniuses, remember? You’ll figure it out. I”ll give you a few hints: he’s on the no-fly list and can’t possibly have gotten through airport security to board an international flight. If he’s taken a plane anywhere it’s through a small airport and there’ll be rumblings in the news because he won’t have asked nicely. Also, he’s got family in Washington. I think he’s likely to go there.”

“He told me about his brother,” Skye said, “it doesn’t exactly sound like they’re close. Why would he go there?”

“Unfinished business. I too talked to him about family and I think he has an axe to grind there.” Coulson shrugged. “Maybe I’m wrong but at least it’s a place to begin.”

“Okay I’ll see what I can do.”

“If you can get us into the secured databases that hold the traffic camera feeds perhaps we can trace his movements from the time he left here,” Fitz suggested, already pulling up news feeds to see if Ward had made a splash on his way out. 

“See? I knew you’d come up with a plan.” Coulson nodded his approval and walked towards the door.

May, still silent, followed him out of the room and up to his office. She sat across from him and waited until he acknowledged her with a look.

“You didn’t give me a job.”

“Your primary job is to heal. I need you back in the field as soon as possible.”

“You need me in the field now.”

He shook his head. “You’re not ready.”

“I can handle it - “

“How close did Ward come to killing you when you were one hundred percent, May?” he interrupted. “I’m not letting you go out there with a clipped wing.”

Her eyes grew steely. “Is this personal? Because you and I are beginning to get close again? You know I’m the best chance you have at catching him.”

Heat surged inside him for a moment before he tamped it down. Fighting wouldn’t do either of them any good right now. He needed logic to convince her. “I feel _personally_ responsible for all my agents, May. I wouldn’t send any of them out after having just been shot. It’s more true for you than for any of the others but not for personal reasons.” He leaned forward, elbows on the desk. “Of course I don’t want to see you get hurt, May-Lin, but I trust you completely. You know that. I know you can handle yourself out there no matter what comes your way. You’re the best agent I’ve got and the others know it too. They look to you for leadership out in the field and though they may not admit it, they know whatever happens, you’ll have their backs and pull them out of whatever sticky situations arise. I’m afraid to send them out there, knowing they’re relying on you, knowing you might not be up to the task. We would both feel terrible if something happened to one of them because you weren’t able to step in and help.”

He looked deep into her eyes and saw the hot anger that had flared there cool down. 

“Who will you send then?”

“Bobbi. She’s nearly as good as you and I trust her.”

“Yes she is. Let me go along too. I’ll just fly the plane.”

“May - “

“Please?”

It wasn’t often she asked. Even less often that she begged. In fact he couldn’t remember the last time she had, if ever. “You’ll stay with the plane, no exceptions.”

“No exceptions.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He looked her up and down. “You’ve given me your word, May. Don’t break it.”

“I’ll just be the eyes in the sky. Bobbi will run point from the ground.”

“Good.”

She took a deep breath and sighed. “In the meanwhile, what can I do now?”

He opened his mouth wordlessly and shook his head. “Help Fitz and Skye?”

“With my technological skills? Are you kidding?”

“You can think. Help them figure out where to look. They’ll do the heavy lifting.”

“You’re the boss.”

Coulson smiled briefly. “You’d better remember that.”

~ ~ ~ 

May looked around Coulson’s office at the group of people assembled there. It was a good group; people she herself would have picked for this mission if she’d been in charge.

“You all understand the plans?” Coulson said, finishing up the briefing.

“I understand but I’m not sure why we need plans A, B and C when we could just locate him and put a bullet in his head.”

“He was one of us.”

Hunter stared Coulson down. “Oh, I see. It’s personal because he was your friend.”

“There’s nothing personal or friendly about it,” May broke in coldly. “For any of us. Ward was one of us but he was also Hydra. He knows a lot more than he’s told us and he’s decided, for whatever reason, that he wants to share this knowledge with Skye. We want him back for that knowledge - that’s first priority. We only kill him if we can’t take him in without casualties.”

“Okay, I get that. Do we really need three separate plans though? Isn’t one backup plan usually enough?”

“Don’t underestimate Ward. He’s one of the best, an intelligent, resourceful warrior who unfortunately trained under a man who taught him to be paranoid and kill first without asking questions.” May’s eyes met each of theirs in turn - Hunter, Bobbi and Tripp. “If we underestimate him we’ll end up dead. Trust me on this.”

Coulson nodded. “May is right. You’ll go in with an initial plan and two backup plans but be prepared to use all twenty-six letters of the alphabet if need be. I want this taken care of now so we can focus on more pressing things.”

They all nodded.

“Dismissed. Good hunting.”

May led them out to the small plane and began the pre-flight checklist. Tripp came up to the front and sat beside her. “You do know Coulson gave me specific orders not to let you get involved in the action, right?” he confessed.

“I figured as much.”

“He doesn’t trust you?”

She smirked. “He just knows me too well.”

He nodded at the arm she was easing out of the sling. “You going to be okay flying with a bum arm?”

She looked squarely at him through warm eyes and smiled just a little. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been shot before, it’s no big deal. Besides, I’ve got you here to help out if I need it.”

He smiled, knowing that was her way of telling him all was forgiven. “True that. Now let’s get hunting. We’ve got us a man to catch.”

~ ~ ~

Sweat dripped down his temples and made a vee in the front of his t-shirt. His body desperately wanted to stop - his muscles were beyond sore and he was incredibly tired, but something in Coulson’s mind pushed him on and on, not allowing him to quit carving until he was done.

This was the third time this week - second night in a row, and the second time since the others had left that it had happened. It was disturbing how much more frequently the urge was now coming to him. 

He wished May were here so he had someone to talk to about it.

As suddenly as it had come, the urge disappeared, and his weak muscles slumped, his hand dropping the knife to the ground carelessly. 

“Visiting the crazy wall again?”

His head whipped around at Skye’s voice. “What are you doing here?”

“May gave me specific orders to keep an eye on you while she was gone, especially if you came visiting your office in the nighttime.”

Bone-weary, he dropped into his chair. “I don’t need babysitting.”

“She apparently thinks you do.” Skye curled up in the chair opposite him. 

“You should be sleeping.”

“So should you.”

“I only wish I could.”

“You could try some hot milk.”

He made a face. “Are you trying to make me feel ill?”

“What? That’s what people are supposed to drink to help them sleep, aren’t they?”

“I’m thinking a good stiff shot of whiskey might work better.”

“I can get that too if you want.”

“No, now that I’m done I might actually be able to rest for a few hours.”

Sympathy darkened her face. “It must be hard for you.”

He stood and drew in a deep breath. “I’m used to hard, Skye. Life as a Shield agent isn’t easy, particularly now. Are you sure you still want this?”

“Life isn’t easy anywhere. I’d rather face it here where I have friends.”

He smiled at her and came around the desk to put his arm around her shoulders. “You surely do. You belong here with us, Skye.”

They shared a smile.

“Now as your babysitter I feel I must tell you it’s time for you to go to bed C.”

“C?” Coulson asked as they walked.

“C for Coulson. It’s hard to know what to call you. Agent, Director, Sir, Phil ....”

“C will be fine. Or sir if I happen to be mad at you.”

“Now when does that ever happen?” She smirked. They stopped in front of the door to his quarters. “Get some rest now. I don’t want to have to tell May you were uncooperative when she gets back.”

“I feel a mad coming on,” he warned, scowling playfully.

“Go to bed, sir.”

Coulson smiled to himself as he shut the door behind him. Yes, she definitely belonged here.

~ ~ ~ 

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that there may be spoilers for anything that's aired on the show so far (no spoilers for the future), and that much of what happens in my stories is made up and doesn't resemble what actually happened on the episodes so if you remember it happening differently when you watched the show, you're probably right. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

“Okay, is everyone in position?” May waited for their responses. Technically, Bobbi was in charge of the op but she’d deferred to May, with the explanation that because May wasn’t on the ground it would be easier for her to be the centre of communications. She had a feeling Bobbi was doing it as a favour to keep her in the loop and she was grateful.

“Mark one ready.”

“Mark two ready.”

“Mark three ready.”

“Don’t do anything to arouse Ward’s suspicions. If you even so much as look at him and he catches your eye that’ll be it. He’s going to be suspicious enough to see trouble where it isn’t so let’s not give him more reasons to run.”

“How can you be sure?” Hunter asked.

“It’s how I’d be feeling,” she said dryly. “We’re not so different, he and I.”

“I beg to differ,” Tripp put in.

“We’ll have that debate another time. Eyes and ears open. Be ready.”

Coulson, listening until that point, nodded. Bobbi would be in charge of directing the ground assault but he had a feeling things would default to their normal and May would be overseeing the larger picture from above. It’s what he’d hoped would happen - it gave her a reason to be there and not feel like dead weight.

“Eagle one, I’ve got eyes on the target.”

 _Bingo_ , May thought. Finding the post office box tied to him, however tenuously, meant they had a starting point. She and Coulson had both been in agreement that Ward would likely go there first - why have it if he didn’t have something hidden there? - and then find his way to his family.

“Just watch for now.”

Tripp picked up a pair of sunglasses from the rack in front of him and tried them on. He moved closer to Ward, ostensibly to get a better view of himself in the mirror, but really to give him a full-on view of the target.

Ward opened the box and took out a duffel bag, disappearing into the washroom right away.

Tripp reported his every move and May was about to give him the green light to go in after him when he interrupted. “Wait, he’s just come out and … ah shit, he’s made me. Just flipped his jacket open and smiled at me. He’s got a bomb strapped to his torso. Now what?”

“Let him go. Plan B goes into effect.”

Bobbi waited anxiously, slowing her breathing so as not to show her nerves. She felt more than saw Ward walk past her. The hairs of the back of her neck prickled as he began to chat with a woman and her son nearby but still she didn’t look up. Instead, she shut her book, grabbed her bag and boarded the Washington-bound bus.

When he boarded a few minutes later, with the woman and her son, she began reading again. Surprisingly, he didn’t sit with them; he came to the back and sat in the empty seat beside her. She looked up and smiled politely.

He smiled back. “You’re new.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Coulson’s recruiting. Good to know.”

“Who? What are you talking about?” Bobbi hoped she’d injected the right amount of surprise and confusion into her voice and body language.

“I know Coulson sent you to get me.” He opened his coat a fraction, making sure she saw the bomb. “You’re not bad but if you want to fool people into believing you’re actually reading, you should turn the pages periodically.” He smiled again only this time there was an air of menace behind it. “Don’t try anything stupid or I’ll set this off. I won’t be taken alive.”

Bobbi quickly calculated the odds of taking him dead before he set off the bomb.

“Don’t,” May said as if reading her mind. “Let him go. Go to Plan C.”

Ward stood. “Sorry, I think I boarded the wrong bus. Excuse me.”

Bobbi watched as he walked across the depot and boarded the bus bound for Texas. “Damn, he’s good,” she said.

“Yes he is. Bobbi, Tripp, come to the landing site. I’ll pick you up and we’ll follow in the sky. Plan C underway?”

“On track,” Hunter drawled quietly.

“Good.”

The Texas bus pulled away and Bobbi scrambled off her bus to meet Tripp. There wasn’t a moment to waste.

~ ~ ~ 

The comm range wasn’t good enough that Coulson could be a part of the op directly so May had filled him in through the plane's communications as she took the Bus to the meeting point. He was glad they’d made it a three-letter Plan, more glad yet that May wasn’t directly involved in it. Ward was as dangerous and deadly as she was, and far more unpredictable. He had no doubt she’d fight to the death putting herself between him and the rest of the team but he couldn’t afford to lose her.

Professionally or personally.

However much he might argue that his decision to keep her out of the field was for professional reasons, there were personal reasons too and she knew it. May might protest the personal protectiveness angle - and with good reason given what had ripped them apart years ago - but she had her own personal reasons for protecting him as well and he knew they stemmed out of her own feelings of inadequacy and failure for having been unable to prevent his death with the Avengers.

May might be all about professional on the surface, but she had plenty of personal motivation down deep inside, just as he did. She just hid it better - something he’d better work on improving or risk losing her again when he wore his heart too openly on his sleeve.

“May.”

“You rang?”

“Remember your promise. You’ll stay off the ground and out of the action.”

“Guardian angel in the sky, that’s me.”

“Good. Good luck out there.”

“Thanks. I’ve a feeling we’ll need it.”

“Let me know what goes down.”

“Always. Talk to you soon.”

Even her words were more personal now than they used to be. He wondered, momentarily, if she realized just how personal their relationship was becoming. Then his mind focused on the matter at hand and all personal things were forgotten.

~ ~ ~ 

“Hunter, have you still got eyes on him?”

“He’s just getting out of the cab and going into an Irish pub. I wonder why.”

“Tripp, secure the back exit,” Bobbi said crisply.

“Copy that.”

“Hunter, eyes on the front door. If he leaves from any exit, I want to know.”

May, flying in a low holding pattern nearby, smirked. The two of them were so alike in the way they executed plans and handled their team. Bobbi was fitting in with them nicely and that was good news, as it meant she could take point on more of their missions and May could stay back with Coulson more often. She’d made a vow, both to herself as well as Fury, to always have his back but that was getting harder and harder to do when they were almost always apart. Either she was out running ops while he stayed at the base, or she watched over the base while he was out recruiting.

Anything that would help them be together more was a good thing.

“Agent May.”

“Go ahead.”

“He’s been in there for almost half an hour. Should we go in?”

May felt a prickle at the base of her spine and it was the precursor to an unsettled feeling in her stomach. “Yes. Full assault gear. I’ve a feeling he’s ready for us and knows we’re coming.”

“Seriously, how could he?” Hunter murmured, but he put on his vest and got his two weapons ready nonetheless.

“Be careful in there,” May warned. “Remember Coulson’s orders. I want everyone coming home alive.”

“Copy that,” Bobbi answered quickly. “Everyone ready?”

May listened anxiously as they entered the tavern and searched it.

“He’s not here,” Tripp observed. “Two, three … four bodies.”

“Where the bloody hell is he then, and how did he get away from us?” Hunter demanded.

“Good question,” May growled. “Be careful in case he left presents for you.”

“He did,” Bobbi mused, stifling a chuckle. “You have to see this.”

May peeked at her phone as Bobbi’s picture uploaded. It was Bakshi, tied up and with a note across his mouth _~ For Coulson._

She huffed. “All right. Bring him with you to the meeting point. I’ll let Coulson know we’re bringing a guest.”

“How did he get away?” Coulson asked when she contacted him with the news minutes later.

“Beats the hell out of me. I wasn’t even on the ground, remember?”

“Rhetorical question. At least we didn’t lose anyone.”

She heard the relief in his voice. “No, we multiplied.”

“I’m looking forward to chatting with our guest.”

“Ticks me off that we lost Ward though.”

“We found him before, we can do it again.”

“That takes time and time is something we don’t have. He’s leaving a trail of bodies behind him and I’d like to get him before that count gets any higher.”

“You and me both. I’ll get Skye on it right away. Head back to base now but if we get any indication of Ward’s whereabouts I’ll let you know to change course.”

“Copy that.”

~ ~ ~ 

The first place May went when they arrived back was the med bay. Simmons greeted her appropriately. “Need painkillers?”

“Need painkillers,” May affirmed through clenched teeth.

Simmons shook her head as she prepared the injection. “You should have taken some before you left.”

May shook her head. “They dull your reflexes.”

“They dull the pain too.”

May looked over her shoulder. She hadn’t heard Coulson following her. “Pain sharpens your senses,” she argued.

“However, suffering pain when you don’t have to shows a certain level of insanity,” Simmons retorted.

May and Coulson shared a look.

“Were you ever in any doubt about my sanity?” May asked.

“I really shouldn’t have been, should I?” Simmons readied the needle as May gently shrugged off her leather jacket.

“Not in the slightest.” Coulson cringed at the sight of the pinkish bandages covering the gunshot wound. It was because of him that she’d been shot. “I’ll get that,” he said, picking up the jacket. “You should change into something more comfortable. You’ll be here a while.”

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson sat in his office hours later after everyone had gone to bed. He debated whether or not to just lie down on the couch until the urge to carve got him up; it made more sense than heading back to his quarters and then having to come back.

He’d loosened his tie, unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt, and had kicked off his shoes when a knock at the door interrupted his plans. “Come in,” he called, expecting it to be May. She was the only one who dared disturb him this late.

“Director?” Simmons’ head poked around the door. “Is it too late? Am I disturbing you?”

“Not at all. Come in.”

She took in his disheveled appearance and blushed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have - “

“It’s okay. I was just starting to let my hair down, so to speak.” He smiled. “Even bosses need to loosen up and relax once in a while.”

She smiled weakly. “Yes sir. I came because I have something I need to talk to you about.”

Coulson gestured for her to sit on the couch. She did, wringing her hands nervously.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked gently, trying to encourage her. 

“It’s about Fitz,” she blurted out.

He’d anticipated that. The tension between them since she’d returned from her undercover assignment had been palpable to all. “He’s having some trouble, isn’t he, adjusting to the fact that you went undercover without telling him.”

“Yes! How did you know?”

He smiled. “I’ve been around you know. I’ve had a little experience with that in my many years as a Shield agent.”

She turned large, worried eyes on him. “What do I do? I’ve tried talking to him but he won’t listen to me. He thinks I betrayed him by not telling him.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, just how close were you before you came to us?”

“Best friends. We met our first day at the Academy and became friends instantly.” She smiled at the memory. “He turned a corner and bumped into me, knocking my coffee and spilling it all over me. He helped me get cleaned up and offered to buy me another and we’ve been best friends ever since. I don’t know what to do to convince him I didn’t betray him.”

“In a sense you did, Gemma,” he said softly. “When you have a friend you share everything with, keeping secrets - even for the best of reasons - can be very hurtful and it’s hard to work through and gain that trust back.”

“Like you and Agent May?”

“Exactly like that. We’ve had a friendship that’s lasted since our Academy days as well, much longer than yours. We’ve definitely had our ups and downs - “

“Like when you believed she was lying to hide the fact that she was with Hydra, and she left?”

He nodded, chest clenching at the memory. “The people we care about most are the ones who can hurt us the most deeply. May hurt me by keeping secrets from me, even though she had good reason to, and I hurt her even more by not believing in her and telling her to leave. I’m very lucky she’s as forgiving as she is and that she doesn’t hold grudges.” At her disbelieving look he added, “against me anyway. We’ve had our share of disagreements and difficult times but we’ve gotten through them by reminding ourselves that what we have is worth saving. We’ve worked through our problems in order to keep the precious friendship we have alive.”

“It probably helps that you love each other.”

A hot flush crept up the back of his neck. “Excuse me?”

“I meant as friends,” she clarified, smiling.

“It seems you and Fitz came here with a very similar kind of friendship. If you believe it’s worth saving, you’ll have to keep working on it.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Convince him otherwise. When he realizes life wouldn’t be the same without you, he’ll come around. He just needs to get over the prickly hurt feelings before he can see that clearly.”

“What if he never does?”

“I’ll beat him until he sees sense,” Coulson teased, smiling. “Or I”ll send May in to teach him a lesson. That threat strikes fear into the hardiest of hearts. I’m sure it would yield results.”

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for S2x8 The Things We Bury, in particular, but for all aired episodes before that. Story is (just as a quick reminder) somewhat AU in the present and in Coulson and May's backstory.
> 
> 34 days until SHIELD comes back!!!
> 
> Enjoy. :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A sense of overwhelming and unsettling dread came over her as she watched the breaking news story in Coulson’s office on the monitor. May was glad they were alone. The others would hear about this soon enough but she needed this moment to be able to react before closing off her feelings and figuring out new mission parameters.

_~ There’s no word yet on the cause of the fire and whether there’s a suspicion of foul play, but we can report now that Senator Christian Ward and his mother are both dead - both were in the house when it burned. We’ll have more details on this story as they become available ~_

“He did it,” May said slowly. “Ward did this.”

Coulson said nothing. He didn’t move even an inch from the arms-across-the-chest stance he’d struck when the news had begun to roll, but May felt the shift in him. She could feel the cold anger rolling off him in waves and knew he was working to control his temper.

“Son of a bitch,” he finally exploded, each word coming like a gunshot. “Goddamn him to hell.”

“When I catch him I plan to make his life worse than hell, believe me.”

“When? You mean if.”

“When,” she corrected firmly. “It’s my fault he got away and I’m responsible for bringing him in before he murders anyone else.”

“It’s not your fault May.” He snapped, turning angry eyes on her. “How many times do I have to remind you it wasn’t you.”

“I was the one who let Jimmy out.”

“And that’s like blaming a gun for killing someone. You were just an instrument - Jimmy used you to do his own bidding. You had no say in the matter.”

“I don’t care!” She stood ramrod straight and met his eyes, her own dark and hot with emotion. “I let Ward use me as well and that’s my fault. He fooled us all, but particularly me. _I_ was the one responsible for him even being here. _I_ should have dug deeper and discovered his secrets. _I_ shouldn’t have let him anywhere near you or the others.”

“And I shouldn’t have let him anywhere near _you_ ,” he said, a sudden tender look in his blue eyes. “He used you, physically, to try to get to me. He could have killed you, May-Lin. When I think of that I swear my blood goes icy cold.”

Tension snapped between them, the line between what they’d always been and what they were becoming wavering right in front of their eyes. 

“You give him too much credit,” she said softly. “And me too little.” A slight smile ghosted at the corners of her lips. “You don’t think I ever let him have the upper hand, do you?”

He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “To be honest, I’ve tried not to think about it. Your life is your life and you’re entitled to do what you want with it, but thinking of you with another man … “

“Jealous?” she asked archly. 

“Indescribably so. Not that this is the right time or place for this conversation.”

“It never is.”

He sighed. “I want all this to be over so we can take time for that second date and maybe even try to figure us out. Why do we always have to take a backseat to everything else?”

“The world will always need saving, Phil. There’ll always be some crisis that needs us to fix it.” She swallowed. “Right now it’s Ward. We need to find him and lock him up again; this time we throw away the key.”

“Agreed. Will you be able to - “

“Yes,” she interrupted. “I want to take him down. Myself. I need to do this, Phil.”

He looked at her through serious eyes. “I know. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I know.”

~ ~ ~ 

“Coulson.”

He lifted his head and met Skye’s eyes. 

“You’re going to want to see this.”

“What is it?”

“Well if you _look_ at it, you’ll know, won’t you?” Skye put her hands on her hips and gave him her best frustrated glare. She’d been watching May and practicing in the mirror.

“Sorry.” He pulled the pad across the desk and began scanning the news article she’d left open.

Skye watched him, worried by the dark circles under his eyes and the new gauntness that seemed to be taking hold of him. He’d always been slim and trim but now his suit jacket hung off him like it was several sizes too big. “When was the last time you slept?” she asked gruffly. 

“When did May leave?”

She recognized it as the answer to her question rather than an evasion. It made her even more worried. May had been gone three days now, hunting Ward. 

“You haven’t been carving again … have you?”

Her accusatory tone got his attention. “No, I just haven’t been sleeping,” he answered tersely.

“Maybe you should try taking something to help you sleep.”

“Maybe you should try minding your own business for a change.”

She took his irritability in stride. “You are my business.” He looked up sharply. “Come on C, you know May worries about you as much as you worry about her. She looks after you when she’s here, I do it when she’s gone.”

“Which is why I can’t sleep while she’s off on this suicide mission.”

“Why did you send her then?”

“ _I_ didn’t send her. She sent herself.”

“You could have stopped her. You’re the boss.”

He smirked. “I’m the boss of everyone but May. No one is the boss of May. Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something once her mind is made up?”

“Can’t say as I have.”

“Don’t bother. It’s a futile exercise.”

Skye smiled down at him and hitched a hip onto his desk. “Well since you didn’t stop her from going and you can’t stop worrying about her while she’s out there, perhaps you should find something else to occupy your mind while she’s gone. Like say, alien carvings and why they’ve turned up on several dead bodies in the last week.”

“Okay, you’ve got my attention. Tell me more.”

Skye recounted the story, in her own words, plus a few things she’d learned that hadn't made it to the news from the activists she still kept ties with, and by the end Coulson had decided on a course of action. 

“Whereabouts were the bodies found?” He peered at the article again. “Not far, only a couple of hours away. Get ready, we’ll leave right away.”

“Just you and me?”

“Only three of us know about my carving and May isn’t here, so yes, just the two of us.”

~ ~ ~ 

They’d been on the road a little over an hour when the phone rang. Expecting it to be May, Coulson hit speaker without taking his eyes off the road.

“Agent Coulson,” Raina’s velvety voice purred. “How nice to talk to you again.”

Coulson touched a finger to his lips to silence Skye. “What do you want this time Raina?”

“The same thing I wanted before. Skye.”

“I already told you the answer is no. How many times are you going to ask?”

“As many as I have to in order to get what I want.”

“You have heard the definition of insanity, haven’t you? I can enlighten you if you like.”

Skye almost giggled, covering her mouth in order to stay quiet. 

“Perhaps I just didn’t have the right … incentive before.”

“And you think you do now.”

“Let me ask you a question, Phil. May I call you Phil?”

“No.”

“Are you having that same compulsion to carve that Agent Garrett had before you killed him?”

Coulson didn’t answer.

“I thought so. You want to know what it means, don’t you? I know someone who might have answers for you.”

“Someone who _might_ have answers in exchange for Skye. It doesn’t sound like a very good deal for me, does it?”

A hardness came into her voice. “Do you want to end up like Garrett?” After a pause she continued. “I didn’t think so. Can we meet to talk about this in person?”

“No, and we’re done talking now.” Coulson hit the off button hard. His hands were white on the steering wheel and his face stony as Skye watched him. 

“She has a point,” she said softly, some five minutes later.

“I’m not trading you for information.”

“What if it’s for real and can help you?”

“Won’t do me any good because May will kill me if I hand you over to Raina.”

“I didn’t realize she cared that much.”

The words were flippant but Coulson could hear the whisper of hope behind them. “She cares about you much more than you know. She just doesn’t show her feelings easily.” He glanced over at her. “You know part of the reason she’s so insistent about catching Ward is because of you. Because he betrayed you and used you. He betrayed all of us, yes, but you most of all. You trusted him completely and cared about him personally. May would gladly snap his neck for what he did to you.”

She was silent for long moments, presumably digesting his words. 

“Don’t underestimate the strength of May’s loyalty and devotion. There isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for you. For both of us.”

“Good to know.” She swallowed. “So what do we do about Raina?”

“We wait and watch. She won’t give up. If she can’t get what she wants by direct means she’ll find another way. Don’t underestimate her either.”

“Is there anyone I should underestimate?” Skye said lightly.

Coulson smirked at her humour, so like May’s. “No. And that’s your lesson for today. Since your SO is away I’ll take over your training for now.”

“Please don’t make me do a hundred pushups. Please. Pretty please.”

“I’ll consider it.” He grinned to himself as they continued on in silence. He’d seen the similarities in the two women right from the beginning, though they’d both believed themselves polar opposites, and was glad he’d brought them together as mentor and student. Skye could be very good one day, very good, and if some sort of ability related to the mystery of her birth ever showed itself, she’d need every ounce of training May could give her.

~ ~ ~ 

“Are you giving me orders again?”

Bobbi rolled her eyes. “Coulson left me in charge while he’s gone so yes, that means I give the orders and you take them.”

“Not when it comes to this, I mean on a mission sure, but ordering me to PT? Come on.”

“All members of the team need to do PT. It’s not like I’m singling you out.”

Hunter opened his mouth to object but was stopped by Tripp slapping him on the back. “Come on, let’s go. I could use some exercise too. Few laps around the track and then we can haul out the gloves. What do you say?”

The two men walked out and Bobbi heaved a great sigh of relief.

Simmons, sitting nearby with a book, raised her head. “He really drives you crazy, doesn’t he?”

“You have no idea.” Bobbi sat on the couch beside her. 

“I don’t mean to pry but I’ve heard stories about you two - “ She stopped, unsure how to phrase it delicately.

“We were married, and then we weren’t. We’ve been together on and off since then. It’s complicated.”

Simmons sniffed. “Aren’t all relationships?”

Bobbi smiled sympathetically. She’d seen and heard the tension between Fitz and Simmons. “Are you and Fitz … “

“No, no we aren’t. Never have been. We’re just friends. At least, we used to be.” Her gaze dropped to her lap where her hands twined themselves together nervously. 

“That’s good,” Bobbi said softly. “Friendship is a good place to start. I wish Hunter and I were friends. It might make it easier.”

“Aren’t you?”

“God no. Whatever else we are to each other, and it’s up and down like a roller coaster, we aren’t friends. Sometimes I’m not even sure we like each other.”

“Then why … “ Simmons’ brows furrowed in confusion.

“It’s all heat and sparks with us. Fire and passion or cold anger and hate. There’s nothing in between. I think starting off as friends the way you and Fitz have is a much better way to go.”

“Starting … “ She choked back a sob. “I don’t think there’s going to be anymore. I think we’re finished.”

“Trust me, it’s never done. There’s always a chance to win someone back. Don’t let go, Gemma. If you care that much, don’t let him go.”

**TBC**


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter finished. I wanted to make sure Bed of Roses was done so I worked on that a little more this week. :)
> 
> As always, spoilers for all aired episodes, nothing for the future. Spoilers in particular for 2x7, The Writing on the Wall. I know, I'm doing it a little out of order, but this is how the story is working for me. Hopefully you'll still enjoy it even if it's different than the original. :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m going in.”

“No you’re not.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Wanna bet?”

Coulson and Skye glared at one another. Bobbi had to clap a hand over her mouth to stop a guffaw from spilling out. They looked so much like a father and daughter arguing - not that she’d had experience with that scenario, heavens no - but in reverse. It was terribly amusing watching Coulson get angrier and angrier as Skye dug her heels in and fought him.

“Maybe we should contact May and ask what she thinks,” she offered, hoping to end the argument.

“I don’t need May’s permission to do anything,” he growled. “Who’s the boss around here?”

“You are,” Bobbi and Skye said in unison.

“Who makes the decisions?”

“You do,” Skye said, alone, “except when they’re dumb ones and we have to stop you.”

Coulson looked nonplussed at her words. “Dumb? I can’t believe you’re fighting me on this after what we saw at that woman’s apartment. The answers are in here - “ he tapped his forehead “ - and I can’t get to them without help.”

“We’ll find another way.”

“We don’t have time to find another way. People are dying, Skye. He’s killing them. I need to find out who he is and stop him.”

“And you think May is stubborn,” Skye murmured. “Fine, but I’m setting some ground rules. One - we all go in there in case you need help.”

“Or need to be subdued.”

“Or that. And two - if the procedure is hurting you I’ll pull the plug.”

“Fine.” Coulson strode forward and pressed the sequence of bricks that opened the door in the wall.

“Holy hell. Who knew that was there?”

Skye looked up at Mack. “Coulson did.”

He pointed a finger. “What is that thing?”

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what it is or what it does, but it should help him pull out some of those buried memories. It works with theta waves or something … “

“Nevermind.”

Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Are you armed? Be alert in case of trouble.”

“What kind of trouble do you expect?”

“I’m not sure but last time he was in one of these things it got pretty weird and violent.”

Mack nodded, not really understanding the bigger picture but knowing what she wanted of him.

“You know I don’t think this is a good idea.” Simmons gently hooked up electrodes to Coulson’s temples. “We should at least wait until Agent May is back for her input.”

“Your objections are noted. Keep working. We don’t have much time.”

Skye stood by Coulson’s head, file in hand, as the machine began to hum, ready to begin guiding him back into the past to find the answers they needed.

~ ~ ~ 

A blip sounded on the computer, catching May’s attention. The laptop she’d brought along was connected to the Playground’s computers, which had been running facial recognition software since she’d left, and had been set to alert her if Ward turned up anywhere.

Here he was, not five miles from her present location - well, half a mile down as well, but close enough.

She put the plane down in an open field and grabbed her gear, breaking into a light jog as she spotted a vehicle parked beside a barn nearby. Hot-wiring and stealing cars hadn’t been Shield’s way until they’d been labelled terrorists and had to hide their movements, but this was the third time she’d had to do it in as many months and she had to admit she was definitely getting faster at it.

She left the laptop open on the passenger seat, listening to the pings as it updated her on Ward’s location. She had the general area mapped out now, an outlying suburb of Baltimore, and figured it wouldn’t be too hard to get eyes on him once she was there. The only problem she might have would be staying awake long enough to actually catch him. She’d had only seven hours’ sleep in three nights combined and the adrenaline that had fueled her departure was running low now. _Really should learn to like coffee,_ she thought, pulling a coke out of her pack and cracking it open.

May parked the car on the street and began walking, pulling a ballcap down over her ponytail and throwing a jean jacket on in an attempt not to stand out. A full-body zippered black leather jumpsuit would be a little too obvious in this nondescript suburban neighbourhood. 

She walked for a long time - probably close to two hours, sipping her coke and trying to look like she belonged here as she memorized the layout of the neighbourhood. There was no sign of Ward anywhere, though she’d peeked into backyards and a couple of playgrounds, even poking her head into the local gas station and grocery store. 

It wasn’t until near dusk that she decided to stop for a bite to eat and to take a few minutes to plan what to do for the night. When she pushed open the door to a local diner and stepped inside, Ward’s dark eyes were the first thing she saw facing her. She froze a moment but took a deep breath and walked towards his table.

“Come, join me.” He patted the table in front of him. “The food here is to die for.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “If you like grease.”

She sat stiffly and watched him continue eating like nothing was wrong. 

“Ouch,” he finally said, wiping the edges of his mouth with a napkin. “Those words you aren’t saying sure are hurting.”

“You’re lucky I’m not saying them out loud.”

“No, I think you’re the lucky one. If these fine folks heard what was going through your head they’d wash your mouth out with soap and throw you out of here.”

“Is that what your mother used to do to you and your brother?” May leaned forward. “Wash your mouth out with soap?”

She could see the emotion he couldn’t quite hide behind his eyes, but to do him credit, he didn’t show any other reaction. 

“You heard about that, did you? Tragic. Have you come to offer your condolences?”

Her temper surged and she felt the heat burning her cheeks though she couldn’t find words strong enough for what she wanted to say. “You sick bastard,” she hissed, trying not to explode.

“Sick? Maybe. That depends on your point of view. Bastard? Definitely not. I look like my father, as did my dear, departed brother. In fact people often mixed us up, we looked so much alike when we were young. And really, that slur to my dear mother’s character was uncalled for. It wasn’t like I hurt _your_ family.”

The threat made her see red. “You try it and you’re a dead man.”

He sat back and smiled. “Who’s going to kill me - you? You’re pretty good, one of the best I’ve faced I have to admit, but you’re not good enough. Or maybe you just don’t have the spine for it anymore. Coulson and his ‘love everyone and let them live’ mantra finally beat the Cavalry out of you?”

May forced herself to count to ten - slowly, in every language she knew. “I will take you down,” she said, slowly and deliberately. “Make no mistake. You will die at my hand if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

“How romantic. Do you treat all of your lovers to such promises?”

“Only the ones who aren’t good enough.”

“Oo, that stings.”

She stood. “Let’s go.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You’d test me?”

He looked around the restaurant. “This place is full of good people. People not like us. Do you really want to risk accidental harm to any of them?”

“I can take you out without hurting anyone else. If you don’t know that by now then you haven’t been paying attention.”

“Oh but I have.” He leaned forward and nodded down towards his hands, down under the table and out of sight. “If you’ve been paying attention then you’ll know I have no qualms about killing people. You have - Coulson’s poisoned your mind and made you as weak as he is.” He moved slightly and she saw the light glinting off the barrel of the gun he had hidden. “You try to take me and I will start shooting people in this room. At random. So go ahead - show me I’m wrong.”

She weighed her options, realizing he was right. She wouldn’t let innocents die just to catch him, but he would kill them to get away from her. “Why don’t we continue this lovely conversation somewhere a little more private?”

“You have somewhere in mind?”

“I do.”

“Lead on then. But make no mistake; I will have this gun pointed at you and won’t hesitate to use it if you try anything.”

 _Do, or do not, there is no try._ Coulson’s, or rather Yoda’s words of wisdom rang in her ears. She couldn’t try to kill him, she had to _do_ it, but she had to make sure she chose exactly the right moment.

~ ~ ~ 

They were almost there. One more name. Just one. But Coulson was getting much more agitated as the seconds passed and clearly the procedure was hurting him. Skye dithered as to ending it. 

“We should pull the plug,” Simmons said worriedly.

“No,” he argued. “I have to find him. I have to get all of their names. Just one more … “

Skye listened carefully to his musings, becoming more and more uncomfortable with each recollection. Serum made from alien DNA, humans tests done in secret and with no records, all information not only classified but actually wiped from people’s minds? This was the kind of thing she had joined Rising Tide to uncover and unbury. Yes, some secrets needed keeping but others were just … inhuman. What they’d done to these people had been cruelty wrapped in a blanket of kindness. She’d seen for herself how it was driving Coulson mad and couldn’t help but wonder if it was worth it. _You’d be dead now, along with Coulson and all these other former agents if they hadn’t developed it. And really, how can you do proper clinical trials for something like this? Is it a bad thing to test something potentially fatal on someone who’s already dying?_ She wished she had the answers. Once upon a time life had been very black and white for her.

Then she’d joined Shield. 

“I’ve got it!” Coulson yelled out the name triumphantly, pulling himself out of the machine and sitting up. He blinked, still woozy. “You got the names? Let’s get moving.”

“Whoa, slow down there cowboy. You need some recovery time after that ordeal.”

“We don’t have time. Every minute could mean another death.”

Skye remembered the conversation she’d had with May before the older woman had left. She was responsible for Coulson’s health and well-being while May was gone and had been given temporary clearance to give him orders - and make him follow them - should the occasion arise.

“Let’s go to your office and we can talk about what you’ve managed to pull out of that complicated mind of yours.”

“Skye - “ He was clearly getting frustrated.

She nodded at Mack, who drew his weapon. “May’s orders. Now.”

“Fine.” He hopped off the table and began walking. “You know you’re even beginning to sound like her."

“Who’s fault is that for making her my teacher?”

“Touche. Have you heard from her?” he asked eagerly, looking back as he walked. “Did she call while I was in the machine?”

“We’ll find out when we get to the office.”

They didn’t speak again until they were inside, alone, with the door shut.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

Coulson fixed her with a stony glare. “Then you should know you can’t try to stop me.”

“Can’t or shouldn’t?”

“Both.”

“Look, C, I know you want to stop more people from dying, but - “

“It’s more than just that.” He met her eyes; he looked sad and scared and needy all at the same time and Skye was sure it was the first time he’d shown her his emotions so openly. “You don’t understand this compulsion to re-create the pattern. I thank god whatever it is isn’t affecting you too, but it means you can’t truly understand what I feel. What he feels. The compulsion to carve is remorseless - I can’t stop it no matter what I do or how I try to distract myself. Even thinking of May and worrying about her can’t dislodge the single-minded urge to carve. It’s with me all the time. For now it’s just walls.” He threw his arms up in frustration. “What if it becomes people? What if I turn into that monster and start hurting you all?”

Skye’s voice was flat, lifeless. “May will kill you.”

He took one step closer, imploring. “She’s not here now. I’m afraid of who I am, who I might become. I need to find him, to find them all so we can get answers and stop this madness before it consumes all of us and we all go crazy or end up dead.”

They were silent for a moment, Skye reflecting on what he’d said, Coulson hoping reason would convince her so he wouldn’t have to use force.

“Okay. Okay, we’ll do it, but notice I said ‘we’. That means you and me, and we take some muscle with us. I know, no one else needs to know you’re carving as well as the others, but this guy we’ll be chasing is dangerous. Clearly he isn’t afraid to kill, and if you were the one who not only gave him the serum but erased his memories so he thinks he’s going crazy now, he might just have a bone to pick with you. Assuming he remembers you. I know I would.”

“True that. Fine, we’ll take Mack with us and leave Bobbi in charge. Find all of our potential victim’s whereabouts and plan a route so we hit them all as quickly as possible.”

“Already on it.” She held up her pad.

He smirked briefly. “Why do I even bother telling you to do anything?”

“ ‘Cause you like the sound of your own voice. Okay, we’re ready, let’s go. ”

**TBC**


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a little over two weeks until Agents of SHIELD returns! I've no doubt the story is going to kick into high gear for the back half of the season, so I'm trying in my story to catch up to where the actual story left off, though some of the details will be very different. I don't remember all of the details of the alien city's whereabouts, nor the names of the former agents who had their memories wiped, so hopefully I got them somewhere near close and it still makes sense. 
> 
> Just a reminder that there may be spoilers for anything that's already aired, but there are NO spoilers for what is to come. 
> 
> Enjoy!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“This was your plan? To draw me out into the middle of nowhere and fight me? Not very intelligent, Agent May. Not very intelligent at all.”

May didn’t answer. She didn’t really have a plan, she just knew she needed to get Ward away from people so she could deal with him one-on-one. 

_No collateral damage._ That was Coulson’s prime rule and it was the one way he differed from Shield’s previous boss. All life should be spared if it could, and there was no such thing as “acceptable losses” in Coulson’s book. He felt every loss of life too keenly and had passed that value on to her.

Perhaps Ward was right and working with Coulson had made her soft. That didn’t mean it was wrong though; Shield’s mandate to protect people didn’t give them the right to be gods and choose who lived and died. Everyone had the right to live.

Except perhaps Ward.

By the time they’d reached the clearing where she’d left the plane, she’d already reconsidered killing him. He might die yet, but not now. Not here. Killing him in cold blood wasn’t right. It wasn’t her anymore. Ward was definitely right - working with Coulson had changed her. The woman who’d earned the nickname The Cavalry didn’t exist anymore.

And that was a very good thing.

“So where are we going?”

“Just keep walking.”

“I’d say you’re the boss but as I’m the one with the gun I’m not sure that’s correct.”

Catching him off-guard, May spun around suddenly and kicked the gun out of his hand, diving for his knees before he could react. He was fast but she was faster, and the low game was definitely her thing. He had the height, weight and muscle mass advantage over her but she was quick and lithe and kept low to the ground, evading his retaliatory shots at her.

He caught her a moment later and tried to pull her into a bear hug, attempting to pin her arms. She feinted and flipped suddenly, pitching him forward over her shoulders. He landed hard and rolled several times but had his feet under him again instantly. As he straightened up, he smacked his head on something - something that seemingly wasn’t there - and went down hard again, lapsing into unconsciousness.

May dusted herself off and opened the plane’s hatch. “That wasn’t so hard.” It wasn’t easy dragging him up into the plane and securing him, dead weight as he was, but she managed it, wiping the sweat off her brow as she sank into the pilot’s seat. She was surprised when Bobbi answered her hail.

“Is Coulson there?” she asked.

“No, he’s out and about.”

“Really.” It wasn’t like he couldn’t go out without her approval since he was the boss after all, but it wasn’t like him not to let her know what he was up to. 

She was a little miffed, to be honest.

“Okay, well when you talk to him let him know I’ve got Ward and am heading back. I’ll try him on his cell too.”

“Woo. Good job.” She could hear the honest praise in Bobbi’s voice. 

“Thanks. See you in a couple of hours.”

“Looking forward to it.”

May didn’t doubt it. They were a lot alike; she’d found that out the last time they’d worked together, years earlier. Neither had much use for conversation and both would rather be alone than with others.

She liked Bobbi too.

Peeking back over her shoulder she noted Ward was still unconscious. She patted the dash as she began the pre-flight sequence. “Atta girl. Way to help me take him out.”

~ ~ ~ 

His cellphone rang in his pocket but Coulson let it go to voicemail.

He’d finally found it. The missing piece. The answers he’d desperately sought. 

It was beautiful.

The man he’d known as a Shield agent once upon a time stood beside him, not quite understanding the depth of Coulson’s wonder. How could he, he’d had the missing piece all along. It hadn’t driven him crazy like it had the others.

It was a city. The map of a city. But which one?

“Skye,” he began.

“Already on it, C.”

“Hands in the air, everyone.”

Coulson swung around to face the man he’d been hunting. “There you are.”

“Coulson.” The word was curse, spat out in anger. “You don’t know the amount of suffering you’ve caused me.”

“Actually I have some idea.”

“You can’t possibly understand.”

Coulson bit his lip. “I took the serum.”

The man’s eyes widened. “Voluntarily? Knowing what it did to all of us?”

“Not exactly.”

“You were dying.”

“Something like that. It saved me too but I’ve had the same visions as you. Been carving just like you have … well not on people, but you know what I mean.”

Mack’s eyes widened at the revelation.

“Then you understand what I’m looking for. Why I need to find it.”

“Put down the gun, friend. It’s here.” Coulson swept his arm towards the elaborate electric train setup in front of him. “It’s right here. Look.”

“I don’t see it. You’re lying.”

“Go up to the hayloft. Look at it from above.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Coulson held up his hands. “I’ll go first. See, I’m not armed. Follow me. I’ll show you.” He began to climb the ladder. 

“Go on, follow him.” Mack nodded at him. 

He did as bidden, throwing a poisonous look back over his shoulder. When he reached the top his mouth dropped open and the gun clattered out of his hands. 

“There it is,” Coulson said softly. “This is it. The piece we’ve been looking for.”

They both remained silently transfixed as Mack climbed the ladder, moving the gun from reach and securing the man in cuffs.

Coulson looked down. “Skye?”

“No luck yet. We need the Bus’s computer. My laptop isn’t enough.”

“Let’s go then.” After descending the ladder he faced the man who’d given him the answers he needed. “I know this is all a little confusing to you. If you want to come back with us I can show you your personnel folder and introduce you to who you used to be.”

The two men shared a long look. 

“I thank you for offering but I’m happy here. I like who I am, what I do. I have a wife and son I adore and a job I enjoy. I get up every morning, looking forward to the day. I have a feeling my life wasn’t like that before and to be honest, I’d rather not know.”

“Wise man. I thank you for your help and wish you all the best in the future.”

“Anytime. You saved my life, Agent Coulson.” They shook hands. “You gave me this new life. I know I can never repay you for that but whatever I can do to help you with anything you just let me know.”

“Thank you.”

As they headed back out to the car, Coulson suddenly remembered the phone call. He pulled out his phone and listened to the message. Skye’s eyebrows raised as he broke into a wide smile. 

“May?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

He nodded. “She’s got Ward and is on her way home.”

“That’s great!”

“I think she’s a little miffed. I didn’t tell her we were coming out on this mission.”

“She said that?”

“No, but I know the tone of her voice when she’s trying to pretend she’s not upset. She must have found out somehow.”

“You know her pretty well.”

“I do. Let’s get back so she can give me a piece of her mind for not keeping her in the loop.”

Skye chuckled as she climbed into the car. “You must have it pretty bad if you’re looking forward to having her read you the riot act.”

“Right now I’d be happy if she locked me up and forced me to listen to the entire Constitution. I’ve begun to get the answers I’m looking for, _and_ we've managed to recapture a dangerous criminal and will put him away so he can’t hurt anyone else. It’s been a good day.”

“I’ll say.” She smiled, feeling warm inside as they pulled out of the farmyard and headed towards home. It had been a long time since she’d seen Coulson really happy. It was good. He deserved a little happiness after all he’d been through in the previous months.

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson met her on the hangar bay floor as she exited the plane. Despite the scowl she threw in his direction, he walked right up to her and smiled. “I’m glad you’re back. In one piece too.”

“I could say the same of you.” May looked him up and down. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked as exhausted as she felt, but there was something in his eyes she hadn’t seen before - a kind of happiness that hadn’t been there in too long. All her ire with him melted away.

“Tell me,” she entreated.

“I’ll do better. I’ll show you.” He took her hand and led her to his office where he pushed on a panel inset into the desk and a 3D picture came to life in the middle of the room. “I found it. Isn’t it beautiful?”

May looked at the lines and circles from several angles but had to admit she didn’t see anything different than what she’d seen from his carvings. “What is it?” she asked carefully, hoping not to offend him.

“A city.” He stared at it reverently. “I don’t know where it is, or was, yet but I’ve got Skye working on it.”

May allowed herself a small smile. “I’m glad you finally found it.”

“ _You’re_ glad. It was driving me mad.” He stepped closer to her and reached out, grasped one of her hands and held it in his. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going. Skye found a clue and we needed to go right away. I didn’t want to disturb your mission, particularly if it was at a critical moment.” He caught her eyes. “How did it go, by the way, besides coming out victorious?”

“Fine. Better than I thought it would,” she admitted. “He underestimates me.”

“Most people do.”

“You don’t.”

“I’m not most people.”

 _You most certainly are not_ , she thought, eyes drifting down to his mouth as if of their own accord.

The air between them suddenly charged with a different kind of tension and Coulson decided to throw caution to the wind. Hell, it was already a good day with two important things going his way. Why not make it three and call it a great day?

He leaned in quickly, before she could object or pull away, and laid his lips on hers. The kiss wasn’t quite chaste but it wasn’t probing either. 

He’d surprised her. For a moment she didn’t react, then she opened her mouth and took him closer willingly, lifting her free hand and resting it on his chest right over the scar on his heart. 

“Most people wouldn’t take those kinds of risks with me,” she said huskily, drawing back a fraction.

“Like I said, I’m not most people.” 

Their eyes, inches apart, bored into one another’s. “Good thing or I’d have to kick your ass.”

“Like you could.”

Her laugh rang out musically and it made his heart sing. “Of course I can but you’re smart so I’ve never needed to.”

“Uh … I’m sorry … am I interrupting?”

 _Your timing couldn’t possibly be worse_ , Coulson thought as Skye poked her head into his office. _Should have shut the door behind us. And locked it._ He looked back at May but the spell was broken and her eyes regarded him coolly now, with a trace of humour. 

“You have something?” he asked, clearing his throat self-consciously. Their twined hands dropped apart, his feeling cool suddenly as though the lack of May’s body heat had chilled him from the inside out.

“I found it.” Skye smiled triumphantly. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

~ ~ ~ 

“ _Puerto Rico?_ ” There was no mistaking the skepticism in May’s voice.

“It’s under Puerto Rico.”

“Like the ancient Egyptian cities.”

Skye met May’s eyes. “Exactly like that.”

“I wonder how long that city’s been there.”

“If it’s alien in origin, who knows?”

“I aim to find out.” Coulson’s chin set in a familiarly stubborn way that May knew all too well.

“What’s the plan?” she asked.

“Not sure yet. I’m working on it. Ideas?”

Skye made a face. “We go there and check it out in person, of course.”

“I like how you get straight to the point. Yes, we’ll go there.” He turned to May. “Get started prepping the planes. We’ll take both of them.”

She nodded and walked briskly out. Skye hovered. Coulson looked at her questioningly. 

“Sorry about interrupting your _moment_ before.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How much did you see?”

Her cheeks coloured. “All of it.”

His lips thinned to a straight line. “I’m definitely locking the door next time.”

**TBC**


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to update this. Last week I sprained my wrist and couldn't type, and I've had a death in the family early this week. It's been difficult getting back into this and so this chapter is a little shorter than the others, but as I don't know when I'll get the chance to post again, I figured I'd get this up for you so you don't have to wait another week.
> 
> As always, spoilers for everything aired to date. No spoilers for the future of the show, although the future is almost here - one more week until SHIELD is back!
> 
> I hope you enjoy. :)

May answered Coulson’s hail promptly.

“We’re ready to go dark. You understand the plan?”

“Clear as crystal. Stay in touch as much as you can.”

“Will do. Be careful up there.”

“Right back at you.”

Skye sniffed. “You guys are so cute.”

May glowered at her. “Now is not the time.”

“Apparently the time was just before I interrupted you in C’s office.”

“Never speak of that again.”

Skye smirked but it fell away as she turned her thoughts to the mission ahead of them. “Why doesn’t Coulson want me down there?”

“He’s just trying to protect you.”

“From what?”

“If he knew the answer to that, he probably wouldn’t have to. You’re special Skye - Hydra wants you, and Shield has been trying to hide you ever since you were born. Even if you don’t count the miraculous healing from the GH325 serum, there’s something about you that’s unique and that everyone wants. Our job is to protect you and help you discover who you really are.” She remembered Coulson’s words to her just before they’d gotten underway. _Your first priority is Skye, May. Protect her at all costs. Whatever all this is, it involves her, and you can bet Hydra will be there trying to make a play for her._

“Who I really am,” Skye repeated thoughtfully. She looked over at May. “I’ve been searching for the answer to that question my whole life.”

“I know.” May’s words were more soft and gentle than Skye had ever heard before. “I hope we can help you find the answer.”

“Without getting anyone killed, you mean.”

“That’s always the goal.”

“What’s our other goal here?”

“For Coulson to discover what the symbols mean and why they’ve been leading him here. Maybe it’ll answer some of the questions he has about the alien whose DNA created the serum that saved you both.”

“Do you think it’s connected to why I’m different and the serum didn’t affect me the same way as Coulson and Garrett?”

“I do. I think much of what we’ve been struggling with is all connected to that, and while I’m not naive enough to believe this will make _everything_ clear, I do think it will be begin to give us some answers.”

“Do you think Hydra knows about this place?”

As if on cue there was a hail. May checked it before answering. “It’s not Coulson.” She opened the channel throughout the Bus, gritting her teeth.

“Agent May, I believe?”

“That’s right. Who is this?”

“My name is Whitehall.”

May cursed silently. She’d already recognized the voice before he’d finished identifying himself.

“You have something I want.”

“Something or someone?”

“Someone, if you prefer.”

“I do. She’s not a commodity.”

“Agent Coulson has certainly made that very clear each time my associate has tried to make a deal with him.”

“Raina,” Skye burst out. 

“Yes my dear. I was hoping your boss would take the deal she offered so unpleasantness could be avoided.” Skye clenched her hands so hard her knuckles whitened. “Unfortunately he’s not a very cooperative man.”

“You’ll find I’m not very cooperative either.” May’s voice was tight now, full of restrained anger.

“I’m not asking for your cooperation. Hand over Skye or we will blast you out of the sky. That’s rather poetic.” He paused a moment. “And don’t think I won’t kill her. She holds the key to the ancient city we’re all searching for, and if I can’t have her no one will.”

May inhaled slowly, exhaled even slower. “I’m not giving her up.”

“Very unwise of you. One life for … how many do you have aboard that enormous ship?”

“None of your business.”

“Maybe not, but I know Coulson isn’t among you.”

“How do you know that?” Skye demanded.

“Because we have eyes on him right now. If you don’t come with us we’ll open fire on him and his team as well.” His voice took on a bemused tone. “I think if we take down both of your leaders that should cripple Shield so much that she isn’t much of a threat to us anymore. Don’t you think that’s the case?”

Skye faced May. “I’ll go with them.”

“Skye, no.”

“Yes,” she said firmly. “I won’t let you all die because of me.”

“Wise girl. We’ll come above you. Prepare the hatch. We’ll board in three minutes.”

May set the controls to autopilot and turned to face Skye. “Don’t do this.”

“I have to. I can’t let you die. I can’t let Coulson die for me.” There was anguish in her young face and May was reminded again just how much of a surrogate father Coulson had become to her. “I can take care of myself, May. You’ve taught me well. So did Ward … before.”

“I thank you for the compliment.” Ward stood at the cockpit’s door, gun in hand, flanked by two men all in black, similarly armed. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Both women stood. Skye hesitated.

Ward raised an eyebrow. “We won’t hurt you. I promise you’ll be safe.”

“Like your promises are worth anything,” May spat, sliding her eyes towards him for a second.

Skye touched her hand briefly. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”

May watched in silent mental anguish as they escorted her to the stairs and up out the hatch. 

Tripp came to stand beside her. “Well that could have gone better.”

An acerbic reply had barely formed itself on her tongue when an urgent beeping drew her attention back to the dash. “Missiles! Tripp, I need you here now.” May took back control of the plane and began evasionary tactics. 

“What do you need me to do?” he asked.

“When I give the word, get the cloak up and running. Not before.”

“Will do.”

The alarm went off again, signalling more missiles coming their way. She evaded them skillfully but noted her flying was starting to become erratic. “Everyone strap in or hold onto something,” she warned through the intercom. “It’s going to get bumpy.”

More missiles appeared on the radar.

“Ready.” The plane went into a sudden nosedive towards the clouds.

“Now?”

“Not yet.” She prepared to jettison the contents of the bay, hoping one day Coulson would forgive her for sacrificing what was left of Lola. Not to mention Skye ...

“Now?”

“Not yet!”

She pulled up quickly just as they reached cloud cover. “Now!” She hit eject and there was a large explosion just behind them. It rocked the plane and Tripp fancied he could almost feel the scorching on the back of his neck, it was that close.

May stayed low in the clouds, cloaked though they were, until radar showed the enemy had turned away, probably assuming they’d been destroyed. 

Tripp let out a relieved breath. “That was some fancy flying, Agent May.”

She shrugged off the compliment. Her gut churned at the thought of Skye with Ward.

And Whitehall.

And Raina.

And probably the butcher that was her father. 

_Lamb to the slaughter._ If Coulson didn’t kill her for giving up Skye, she’d kill herself. If anything happened to the girl, she’d more than deserve it.

“Set coordinates for the meeting point,” she said tersely, preparing to face the fire.

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson sat across the desk watching May’s downcast face after the debriefing. Her eyes were dark, heavy-lidded, so much so they appeared closed. He knew they weren’t. He also knew exactly how she was feeling. 

“May,” he said gently.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Her eyes lifted and the sadness in them was like a punch to the gut. “I let her go. I let them have her.”

“She chose to go. She’s not a child anymore and you let her make the decision for herself. She’s not who she used to be, we have to remember that. She’s a strong, confident young woman who can look after herself. You gave her that gift, May.”

“I shouldn’t have let her go with them. At the very least I should have gone with her.”

“And let them destroy the Bus and everyone else on it? You did what you had to do to save them.” He reached across the table and took her hand in his. “You know as leaders we have to make these calls sometimes. They hurt, but we have no choice. You saved the rest of us, and that was no small feat, which means we live on to fight another day. I’ve a feeling Whitehall won’t kill Skye now they’ve finally got what they want, and she can be a spy for us while she’s with them. We’ll see her again soon, I feel it in my gut.” He squeezed her hand. “You know I would have done the same thing if I’d been in your place.”

He looked deep into her eyes and while they still looked somber, the haze of self- loathing and sorrow had lifted. 

“We have work to do now. Bobbi, Hunter and I have scouted the location of the city and found a way in. We need a plan before we dive in.”

~ ~ ~ 

“Mack!” Bobbi and Hunter both leapt towards the pit as their friend lost his balance and fell backwards down the shaft.

Bobbi grabbed the harness. “I’m going down there.”

“You can’t!” Hunter threw his arms around her waist and pulled her away from the precipice. 

“He’s right,” Coulson said firmly. “We don’t know what’s down there.”

“Mack’s down there and we can’t just leave him!”

“We won’t,” Coulson assured her. “But we can’t go down there without knowing what we’re walking into.”

“What if he’s hurt?” Hunter asked. “Time could be of the essence.”

“I hate to point out the obvious, but there’s very little chance he survived the fall,” Simmons said gently. 

Bobbi glared at her and struggled against Hunter’s arms. He knew it was just a show of the helplessness she was feeling; she was more than capable of kicking his ass if she put effort into it.

Coulson struck two flares against the wall and threw them down the hole. “Let’s get some light down there. Fitz?”

“Almost ready.” He pushed several more buttons and the drones lifted off and followed the flares. 

Ten seconds later everything suddenly went dark.

“What happened?” Fitz began fiddling with his controls. “We’ve got no power.”

Hunter fumbled in the dark for a moment - carefully so as not to share Mack’s fate - until he found the box of flares behind Coulson and struck one. The cave lit in a pinkish-red glow. “Good thing you brought these.”

Coulson regarded him grimly. “I’ve learned to come prepared for anything.”

~ ~ ~ 

The back of May’s neck prickled. She was sure she was being watched. She pulled further into the shadows, eyes constantly scanning the terrain. 

A flash caught her eye and she lifted the binoculars to get a better look.

Skye. Ward. And the woman who’d impersonated her, still wearing her face. All on their way to the tunnel.

She tapped her earpiece. “Coulson. Coulson.” She waited for a moment, tapping it again. “Phil,” she said urgently. Nothing but static answered her. “Dammit!” She flew out from behind the rocks and ran down the hill towards the tunnel’s entrance, approaching it from the opposite side, hoping she could get there in time to warn her people. Even if she didn’t, Coulson wouldn’t be fooled again. She’d damaged the technology the former Shield agent wore when they’d fought last, and while a part of her face still resembled May, there was a gaping hole on the other cheek.

She reached the tunnel entrance, breathless, and stopped for a moment to reassess the situation before plunging headlong into it.

“Agent May. So good to finally see you in person.” She whipped around to find Whitehall standing behind her with a gun trained on her heart. He smiled and gestured at the entrance. “Let’s go join the others.”

**TBC**


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I haven't forgotten about this one! I have been working on it sporadically as I've had time. :)
> 
> In this chapter we finally reach the end of the first half of season 2 so I can finally move on and get us caught up with the show! Spoilers for everything that's aired so far just to be sure, even though I'm a couple of episodes behind. 
> 
> Enjoy!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

 

It wasn’t the first time May had been caught by surprise and at the mercy of her enemy. It probably wouldn’t be the last either. However it was the first time she’d faced an enemy with her own face. No, scratch that, the second. And it was about damned time her doppelganger removed that mask.

_She_ was a one-of-a-kind. 

She was also outnumbered and unable to get word to the others. Three against one was normally something she’d think nothing of even if they were armed and she wasn’t. Whitehall, even with his gun, was an easy takedown but the former agent wearing her face was well-trained in combat, and Ward was, well, one of the toughest opponents she’d ever faced in hand-to-hand. She’d bested him twice now and gave herself realistic odds on their third meeting.

They weren’t good.

“You’ll take me to the artifact,” Whitehall said confidently.

“I can’t take you somewhere I don’t know,” May responded coolly. “Besides, doesn’t Raina have it?”

“She’s lying.”

She turned to face Ward. “You assume because you never tell the truth that no one else does.”

“I’ve worked with you. I know you.”

“No, you really don’t. You think you were the only one playing a part?” She smirked. “You only saw what I wanted you to see.”

“Bull.”

She held his gaze. “How well do you ever really know people, even people you call friends and allies?”

“This is all very touching but I’m in rather a hurry,” Whitehall interrupted, poking her with the gun. “Let’s move.”

“Think about it, Ward, “ She continued as she led them down the tunnels underground. It grew darker and more oppressive the further they travelled, the twin beams of Ward and his companion’s flashlights the only thing visible ahead of them. “You lied to us for six months, had us believing you were someone you weren’t. How do you know others aren’t doing the same all around you just to gain your trust and use you?”

“I never lied. I just left a few things out.”

“Semantics. A lie of omission is still a lie.”

“Well you should know, shouldn’t you? I’m surprised Coulson took you back.”

“Thankfully he doesn’t assassinate people for their indiscretions, unlike the way Hydra does it.” She knew they had to be getting close now; they’d travelled well over half a mile underground by her assessment. She needed to keep them talking.

“Death is the only way to prevent treason. Someone lies to you or betrays you once, they’ll do it again.” Whitehall’s voice was tight, as if he was holding something back. “There can be no forgiveness for that.”

May’s sixth sense prickled and a moment later a whisper told her she was right. They’d arrived. She threw herself to the ground just as a bullet whistled past. Ward grunted and fell backwards. Lights suddenly blazed at them. Tripp stood at the front of the group, gun drawn. 

“Nice try.” Whitehall pointed his gun at Tripp. “Drop it.”

He seemed reluctant to comply.

“Do as he says, Tripp,” May said firmly, meeting Coulson’s eyes.

“Okay.” As he bent down to place the gun on the ground, May acted.

Whitehall had clearly forgotten her, lying prone in the darkness just outside the flashlight's beam. She kicked out at his shins and he squealed but even before she’d gotten to her feet Coulson had shot him straight through the heart. He fell to the ground in a pool of his own blood, unmoving.

Coulson stood over him as May joined him. “Bastard. I’m glad he’s dead.” Then he turned his gaze on Ward, held down by Bobbi. “Where’s Skye?”

“You actually think I’m going to tell you?”

“Where is she?”

Ward smirked.

“Where is she?” Coulson roared. Even May flinched.

“Go ahead and kill me. I’m not telling you anything.”

“I have no intention of killing you. Or trying to torture it out of you - I’m sure you’ve been taught to withstand nearly anything.” His tone was harsh and deadly though his voice was barely above a whisper. “No, if you don’t tell me where she is, I’ll leave you at the mercy of Agent May. They don’t call her The Cavalry for nothing.” 

May’s jaw tightened but she remained silent. 

“I will let her rip you limb from limb until you’re in a world of hurt you can’t even begin to imagine. Then we’ll leave you here in the caverns to die while we blast them to seal you in your tomb forever.”

Ward’s face had grown pale but whether that was from fear or blood loss, May wasn’t certain. He was putting on a brave face, showing no outward sign of fear. His partner in crime … she was a different story. She was shaking and near to tears.

“I don’t want to die here,” she said in a small voice, thankfully her own, not May's. 

“Don’t give in. They won’t do it,” Ward said confidently.

“You want to test me?” Coulson offered. “Remember what May said on the way down here. How well do you really think you know me? Do you have any idea what I’m capable of? What May’s capable of?”

“She’s with Bakshi and Raina,” the woman blurted out. “They were heading into the cavern through another tunnel.”

“Let’s go. Hunter, Bobbi, keep Ward subdued by any means necessary. Fitz, Simmons, you can handle our female visitor. Tripp and May you’re with me.”

~ ~ ~ 

As Tripp was slowly lowered into the sub-chamber, Coulson touched May’s arm. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking deep into her eyes. “I know you hate being reminded, but it was the only threat I could think of that would actually scare them.”

“It’s okay. In this case I think I could happily tear them apart. Well maybe not happily, but they both deserved a good share of pain for their actions."

“I want you to keep an eye out for Skye and her captors. They may not have found a way down yet and might still have to come this way. Be careful.”

“Where will you be?”

“I’m going down there with Tripp.” He shrugged at her glare. “All this time we’ve been trying to figure out the puzzle that was driving me insane. I need to go see what it’s all about now that we have some answers.”

“Be careful,” she echoed.

“Always am.” Impulsively he touched her cheek and leaned in to kiss her gently. Their eyes met and though he didn’t say the words aloud, he was pretty sure she knew what his heart was saying.

~ ~ ~ 

Contrary to popular belief Mack was still alive, and he was a frightening sight. Like a sightless zombie he marched back and forth across the entrance to the tunnel, blocking Coulson every time he tried to pass. Tripp must have found a way because he was nowhere in sight and there was no other exit to the chamber. 

“Come on, Mack, let me through. I need to see what’s back there.”

No luck. Coulson whispered a quiet apology then took out his other gun and hit him squarely in the chest. Mack fell heavily and didn’t rise.

“Good job Fitzsimmons,” he murmured, holstering the stun gun they’d created. It was proving to be very useful. “Tripp,” he yelled as he strode forward through the darkened tunnel. “Tripp!”

She’s here!” The voice was weak, clearly a long way ahead. “Skye’s here with Raina.”

“Get to them!” Coulson began to run. A sudden shaking of the earth almost upended him. “Tripp, are you okay?”

There was no answer, just more shaking and a horrible grinding sound.

“Skye!” He ran full out now, rounding a corner and seeing a piece of rock sliding to cover the entrance both of them had surely used, as there was no other exit. “Skye! Tripp!”

It sealed tightly just as he reached it and Coulson dropped his flashlight to use both hands to pound on the rock. He ran his hands over it, trying to find a finger-hold to pry it open. “Skye!” he yelled repeatedly but there was no answer from inside.

He kept at it until his hands were raw and bloody, finally collapsing to his knees and weeping, head pressed to the stone that separated her from him.

~ ~ ~ 

May had been doing much the same thing once the earth began shaking; calling out Coulson’s name and finally sinking to the ground and holding her hands to her face as she tried to hold back scalding tears. “Phil,” she wept tearlessly, straining to catch her breath as her chest squeezed tighter and tighter. 

“What’s going on down there?” Hunter stood nearby, somewhat out of breath. “Is it an earthquake?”

May rose and shrugged, forcing the tears back. “You left the others?”

“They have it under control. I came to see if you needed help.”

May pulled the harness over and began fastening it on herself. “Help me get down there.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Coulson and Tripp are down there. Maybe Skye too.”

“Don’t forget about Mack,” he added sadly. “but he probably isn’t alive.”

“I’ll find him either way. Help me down.” She clipped the last of the buckles together. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Would you leave Bobbi down there?”

Their eyes met. He reached for the generator.

“Good luck, Agent May.”

“Thanks.”

~ ~ ~ 

She found him still kneeling in front of the wall. “Phil,” she whispered, throat tight. “Thank god you’re alive.”

He turned his face up toward her. “I failed her. I swore I’d protect her and I let her die.”

She touched his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “We don’t know that yet. Is she behind that wall?”

“I couldn’t get it open,” he choked out. “I tried and tried … “

Her eyes flew to his hands, still streaming blood. “Oh Phil.” She leaned in and, ignoring personal space, threw her arms around him and pulled him to his feet, holding him tightly against her. 

“I didn’t get here fast enough. I failed her.” Broken, he dropped his head down and cried on her shoulder.

May rarely cried but she couldn’t hold back the tears now. They clung to one another, mourning the loss of the girl who’d come to mean so much to both of them.

The grinding sound began again and as they both watched in astonishment, the wall began to slide open. Neither moved until it was open. May was afraid to even breathe.

“Skye,” he murmured sadly. “I’m so sorry.”

Movement caught her eye and in an instant she’d pushed Coulson behind her and was in combat stance. “Skye?” she gasped, as the girl walked slowly towards them through the rubble and dust. “Phil, she’s alive!”

He pushed past her and ran to Skye, folding his arms around her as if he’d never let go. She stood immobile, allowing herself to be hugged but not responding, and the sight sent a chill up May’s spine. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, as though she’d witnessed a tragedy but had yet to process it. _I know that look, that feeling. Something’s not right here._

She stepped carefully over to them and put her arms around them both and holding them tightly. “Thank god you’re both all right.”

Skye finally spoke. “Tripp.”

May looked around the room, seeing evidence of the quake’s destruction in the rubble all through the chamber. “Where is he?”

“He … he …” She began to cry hysterically and May took a step back, allowing Coulson to be the one to comfort her.

Clearly Tripp hadn’t survived. May swallowed hard and walked through the destruction, expecting to see his body buried underneath it. She gasped when she found him. He’d been turned to stone, like Creel. Only he’d lost his head and it lay in shattered pieces beside his body, eyes staring sightlessly upwards.

May had seen many a terrible thing but nothing quite like this before - not to someone she’d called a friend. She covered her mouth with her hand, feeling her stomach clench. “Oh my god, Phil,” she whispered. “What the hell happened down here?”

 

**~ TBC ~**


	28. Chapter 28

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

They didn’t have the luxury of funerals and burials anymore now that they were in hiding. They didn’t really have a body either, Coulson thought wryly, trying not to grin as he glanced at the urn high up on the shelf across the room. Tripp was nothing but dust now; unintended cremation having taken care of the details for them.

He looked at the faces around him as he gave the eulogy; somber, some fighting tears, and knew they’d lost one of the best. Antoine Triplett had been one of those agents Fury had referred to the last time they’d spoken. _Men like you are the heart and soul of Shield._ Tripp had embodied the very heart and soul his organization had strived to be since its inception. His loss, though they hadn’t had him on their team long, would be monumental.

“Tripp wouldn’t have wanted us to mourn. He gave his life in service to what he believed in and that gives his death meaning. He was taken from us far too early but we will never forget him.” He raised his beer and nodded at the urn and the plaque above it. “May the noise and funk live on, my friend.”

He watched as the others raised their drinks and then sipped, hearing murmurs of “to Tripp” and “we’ll miss you buddy” floating around the room. Conversations began then, as memories of the man they’d lost were re-told in stories that brought laughter and tears alike.

May stood alone in a corner of the room apart from everyone else. Of course. Eventually his eyes found hers and knew exactly what she was thinking. Someone was missing. Someone who should have been there.

~ ~ ~ 

Skye sat in isolation - her prison - silent and unmoving, the same way she had for four days since they’d returned from Puerto Rico. She knew it worried them; could see it in Simmons’ nervous chatter around her, in May’s troubled brown eyes, and in the heaviness in Coulson’s stature. It was as if he’d picked up the weight of the world and carried it on his shoulders. Painfully.

He spent the most amount of time with her of all of them, surprisingly more comfortable with her silence than even May was. The sadness behind his eyes and in every movement pulled at her heart and she wanted to open up and talk to him but something just wouldn’t let her.

“We said goodbye to Tripp today.” He sat in the chair outside the containment area. Elbows on his knees, leaning forward so his chin was in his palms. “I wish you could have been there. So many good memories of our time with him.”

_He died because of me. How can I ever think of him without feeling responsible for his death?_

Coulson smiled but his eyes were darkened with sadness. “We put up a plaque by the urn. I think it would make him smile.” He looked up and met her eyes, seeing into her soul in that way he had. “It wasn’t your fault Skye. He died in the line of duty, trying to rescue a fellow agent from a dangerous situation. It doesn’t matter the circumstances - he believed in his team and would have given his life to protect any one of us.”

“But it wasn’t any of you,” she whispered, finally breaking down the barrier that had kept her mute. “It was me.”

“I know it’s hard for you.” She could see the relief he couldn’t hide, that she’d finally begun to come out of her shell. “Having someone die for you is much harder than dying for them.”

“Have you ever had someone die for you?”

He nodded. “It takes a long time to forgive yourself. Even when you aren’t directly responsible the guilt weighs you down.”

“I can’t.” Tears she couldn’t stop pricked at the backs of her eyes.

“You can,” Coulson said gently. “And you will, but it takes time. Just like it takes time for Fitz and Simmons to get those damned DNA comparisons done so we can get you out of there.”

She half-smiled at his frustration and put her hand up against the glass.

He lifted his own and put it against hers, wordlessly.

~ ~ ~ 

Simmons looked around nervously, snapping more pictures and jotting down information on her pad. She wished Coulson would have sent someone from their team here with her to scan the underground caverns. Fitz perhaps. It would have made sense to have him here to do the seismic and geological scans while she scanned for biological matter. But then given how well they’d not been working together lately, it was really no surprise he hadn’t paired them, instead leaving her with a team of unfamiliar Shield agents from another base.

A prickly feeling down her spine had gooseflesh rising on her arms under her protective suit. She looked around, almost certain she’d seen something out of the corner of her eye but there was nothing there. _You’re just imagining things, ___she told herself. _Stop being such a little girl and get the job done._ She engaged the comm. “Sir?”

Immediately Coulson’s voice answered her. “Yes Simmons?”

“I’m nearly done the scans now. I’m estimating maybe another half hour until they’re all complete.”

“Very good.”

“Is there anything else you want me to do here?”

“No. When the scans are done, get the team out and then flood the tunnels as per the plan.”

“Yes sir.”

“Nice work, Gemma. Get it done and get home.”

“Thank you, sir.”

She tried contacting the other members of the team - all three of them, but no one was answering. Her feeling of dread increased as she slowly made her way into the main cavern they’d been scanning. 

Three bodies lay on the ground, ripped and bleeding, throats torn out.

She screamed inside her suit, covering her mouth with both hands. Fight or flight took over then, though she had the presence of mind to grab the other scientists’ computers from where they’d fallen as she dashed out of the chamber towards the hydraulic lift they’d set up. She felt rather than heard of saw someone behind her. She leapt into the gondola and hit the button to raise her to the surface, dropping the tech and unholstering the gun she was glad Coulson had made her take as a precaution.

A horrible, spiky-skinned figure with bright, menacing eyes was coming at her, teeth bared, claws reaching as she jumped up to grab the gondola and hang over the edge. Simmons shot her once, then again in the chest, knocking her to the ground before she could climb in. A battle with this creature at close quarters with no escape would surely prove fatal. 

She peeked slowly over the edge, but the woman they’d known as Raina lay still on the ground beneath her, presumably dead.

~ ~ ~ 

It still rattled her as she thought about it, gooseflesh rising anew at the picture now burned into her mind. “It was Raina.”

“Are you sure?” Coulson asked.

“Well she’d definitely changed but I could tell it was her.”

May was next with the questions. “Is she dead?”

“I think so. I didn’t exactly go back down to check for a pulse. She killed three people.” Hysteria began to rise again and she had to breathe deeply to keep it in check. “Tore their throats out like an animal. I shot her twice and hope to god she’s dead.” She closed her eyes, shuddering at the memory.

May and Coulson shared a look.

“I’m sorry, Gemma. We should have sent more protection for you. I’m thankful at least you came out of there alive.”

“Did you know the others?” she asked, opening her eyes and meeting his.

He shook his head. “Not personally, no. But it always hurts to lose people under your command.”

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“Me too.”

May sat on the couch, watching as Coulson walked Simmons to the door, spoke a few quiet words to her, and shut it after she’d left the office. He joined her on the couch, sitting heavily and sighing.

“So, Raina,” May began.

“Yeah. Looks like she transformed after all. I wonder if it was the higher plane of existence she was hoping for.”

“From Simmons’ description it sounds like she became a human porcupine with killer instincts. Not what I’m hoping to evolve into one day.”

“Aren’t you already there?”

She narrowed her eyes at his attempt at humour. “I think my next form should be a black widow spider.”

“Perhaps I should take back that offer to be my mate.”

“I don’t recall you making one. Lately that is.”

“I’ve been thinking about it.” She raised an eyebrow at his confession. “You know, in those three or four seconds I have each day where I’m not occupied with other things.”

“Good to know I rate that much of your time,” she teased, almost smiling.

“You have no idea how much I wish it were more.” He stood and began pacing. “So what are we going to do about Raina? I don’t think we can count her as dead, not without absolute proof.”

“Agreed.” May stood and crossed her arms over her chest. “We keep our eyes and ears open. She won’t be found unless she wants to be, and when she does you can bet we’ll be the first to know.”

“Unfortunately I think you’re right. I’d like to think she’s dead; we have enough enemies already that I’m going to have to start prioritizing them in a new filing system just to keep track of them all.”

“Isn’t that what Fury gave you the cube for?”

“Yes. It’s been a very useful tool.” Coulson didn’t elaborate.

They shared a look, one that wasn’t particularly comfortable. Coulson didn’t like keeping things from her but at the same time felt it was important that no one know the contents of the toolbox, even his second-in-command. May understood the need to keep things close to one’s chest sometimes but he could see the question she wouldn’t voice aloud in her eyes and it pained him not to be able to answer it.

“I’ll go see how Skye is doing,” she said evenly, changing the subject. “Now that she’s actually responding I can talk to her and get some answers. Hopefully the DNA scans will be done soon and we can let her out of isolation. It’s one thing to choose to isolate oneself; another thing completely to be forced into it.”

He nodded, knowing there was really nothing he could add to that. May was the expert when it came to isolation.

~ ~ ~ 

Skye was looking disheveled. Not physically, but there was a wild look in her eye that May hadn’t seen since they’d begun training together. Simmons was there too, a guilty look on her face as she looked around at May’s entrance. A rather one-sided conversation had been taking place, May surmised, one that had Skye feeling unsettled. 

“What’s going on here?” she demanded. “Is that blood on your hands?” Anxiety turned to fear. “Skye are you okay?”

Skye looked down at her hands and then back up at May. “I’m fine. Really, everything’s fine. I just knocked the lamp over and the bulb broke.” She knelt down and picked up some broken pieces of glass. “I just cut myself cleaning up. No big deal.”

But May had a gut feeling it was, that there was something important she was missing. She never ignored her gut feelings and this was no exception.

Fitz joined them moments later. “I have Skye’s DNA scans. She’s fine. Completely normal.” He met the quarantined girl’s eyes. “She’s good to come out of there now.”

“Thank goodness.” May hurried to open the safety locks and heading in to see her protege, not seeing the look Fitz and Simmons exchanged behind her back.

It would have had her blood running cold if she had.

~ TBC ~


End file.
